Rants, Raves, Reviews

why I do not donate to rape crisis

By Gary R, in , posted: 16-Apr-2007 13:18

Reading about the Papakura rape that didn't happen reminded me of a conversation I had with a woman last year who was collecting for the rape crisis centre. I wont attach any labels to this woman but I am sure it is obvious what her leanings are.

I was walking down the street, minding my own business and this woman with a collection box started shaking the box and looking in my direction. I decided to put my hand in my pocket and offer up some coins but before doing that I thought I would have a chat. This is essentially the outcome of the conversation:

1. All men are capable of rape.
2. Woman do not lie about being raped but if they did it would be because they were abused as children (by a man). So for this reason they are not lying.

My reply:
1. Saying all men are capable of rape is like saying that everyone who owns a firearm is capable of mass murder. Just because you own the 'weapon' does not make you a killer or rapist
2. Well, that is just silly all human beings lie or are at least capable of it and not every person who lies was abused as a child.

This woman indirectly went onto suggest that I was debating with her because I had something to hide and my donation to this organisation would help with my 'guilt'. Weird, and needless to say she did not get any money off me.

I remembered this conversation because of an article on the Herald this morning which mentioned that 'some false complaints were made by woman who had been sexually abused at an earlier time'.

Of course. I am a man blame me, my father, my grandfather and of course my son who will be a man one day. It is always very easy to blame someone else or the booze or the 'P'. It is never easy to take responsibility for your own actions.


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Comment by sbiddle, on 16-Apr-2007 14:39

That attitude was fairly typical while listening to Rape crisis on the radio this morning. Essentially it wasn't the womans fault and she would have been crying out for help on an unrelated matter but didn't know who to turn to.

Pull my other leg.. The woman committed a crime. She should now do the time.

Comment by s.joseph, on 16-Apr-2007 15:23

maybe she was seeking attention? ...

Comment by taniwha, on 16-Apr-2007 16:15

false rape reports run at about the same rates as false accusations of assault in general (neither is particularly high)

You've formed an opinion of rape crisis centers (which are very important things) because of the acts of one person?

It's also unclear why you think someone is accusing you of rape? Who has said it's your fault?

Author's note by Jama, on 16-Apr-2007 16:25

I am just passing on the conversation I had one day with a collector. No one accused me of rape but the woman in question seemed to imply that because I didn't agree with her view I must have something to hide or that I was feeling guilty for some reason.

Yes I did form an opinion based on that one conversation. I don't doubt the importance of the centers but I will not donate money to an organisation that (in my opinion) always puts the woman complainant first regardless of what a jury or court rules.

Instead I always give money to the Sallies. They help anyone and everyone regardless of sex, race, religion, etc. Good on ya Sallies!

Comment by Mary, on 16-Apr-2007 16:54

"It is always very easy to blame someone else or the booze or the 'P'. It is never easy to take responsibility for your own actions."

When all the mugging, assault and robbery victims stand up and say "yes it was totally my fault for not protecting myself better" we'll consider conceding the point about rape. In the meantime, responsibility for wrongdoing will remain with the rapist, just as it remains with the muggers, thugs and robbers. Where it belongs.

Author's note by Jama, on 16-Apr-2007 16:59

Nice one Mary, the context on my blog was prompted by a false rape complaint. Ok lets all blame the Phantom Rapist because obviously the complainant is not at fault at all.

Comment by exportgoldman, on 16-Apr-2007 17:28

So, In conclusion - All men are rapists, and all woman lie?

We also drink beer, and woman do washing. Ahhhh, NZ politics.

Comment by TheBartender, on 16-Apr-2007 20:39

I agree, she did the crime now she should do the time.

Luckily she did not point the finger at any one person...

Thats where the damage occurs, when an innocent person is accused of rape, as it can ruin thier life...during the investigation, and after, as the rumors persist.

It may lead to unbearable strain on thier career, thier current relationship, possibly leading to breakup, and massive financial debt having to defend oneself.

I support woman as anyone would when something terrible like rape has occured and despise those who carry out such acts...but those who make false allegations are causing just as much damage and should be severly punished.

100 hours community service...would not be just to a guy who falsely accused, lost his job, his wife and kids, and is left in massive financial debt to pay legal costs etc etc...

No, severly means a jail term, a lengthly one, and a fine to repay the victim thier costs, and all assocated costs of the trial and police investigation.

Comment by johnr, on 16-Apr-2007 21:59

lock her up and make her pay!! Sell her house if she owns one she has stolen off the tax payer stupid bi*ch

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