Rants, Raves, Reviews

Damn those Sinners

By Gary R, in , posted: 12-Mar-2008 14:20

The good old Vatican has decided to update the list of 'burn in hell' sins beyond the standard 7 of sloth, gluttony, greed, etc which have been with us since probably the first Pope was ordained 1000 years ago. I find it quite amusing how a bunch of men in silly costumes can come up with this sort of stuff but then again I am an atheist who finds all religion to be quite ridiculous so what would I know.

You only have to look at the Catholic church's recent backtrack on Limbo to understand that no doctrine or belief system is truly set in 'brimstone'. It does make me wonder though what has happened to all those unbaptised pre-embryos, embryos, foetuses, and babies who were condemned to limbo for the past millennium. Do they suddenly pack their bags and head off to heaven?

Anyway back to the sins. On top of the existing (and well known) 'seven' the Vatican has added another 'seven' sins to bring some more relevance to the modern world. Apparently Abortion and paedophilia received an honourable mention but were cut from the short list. And the sin awards go to:

- Environmental pollution
- Genetic manipulation
- Accumulating excessive wealth
- Inflicting poverty
- Drug trafficking and consumption
- Morally debatable experiments
- Violation of fundamental rights of human nature

I guess this means that Bill Gates, Exxon Mobil, The Sudanese government, some Colombians, the scientist who cloned 'Dolly the Sheep' and the odd despot are all headed South unless of course they repent. That is a funny thing about sin (according to the Catholic Church), you can sin all you like, confess to a Priest and hey presto you will be absolved.

I find it quite ironic that 'accumulating excessive wealth' has been outed as a sin when (by some estimates) the Catholic Church is the biggest accumulator of wealth and the biggest property owner in existence. I personally have not seen the 'books' but some 'in the know' estimate that the church has global assets and wealth the equivalent of $8T (that is trillion) which (as the head of the church) makes the Pope the richest individual (or corporation head) on the planet yet we never see him mentioned on the 'Forbes top 500' list. Obviously 1000 years of hoarding and investing is quite lucrative. This brings me to pollution, is it a sin to commit the act of pollution yourself or to invest in companies that pollute? If it is the later then you could have a 'double-whammy sin' that could see you liable for accumulating wealth from pollution. Given that the Catholic Church probably invests its money rather than hoarding it in a shoe box under the pulpit I would hope that they are at least investing in 'ethical' companies rather than corporate polluters.

I actually think that the church has been slightly conservative with the new 'sin list' and as it is a '1000 year update' I thought I could help them out by adding a few more. So here is Gazza's Guide to the greatest sins not mentioned - amen:

1. Tax - Jesus was apparently Tax Exempt in the temple. Because my body is my temple everything I put into my temple should be tax exempt as well. By the way, the Catholic Church pays no tax.
2. Beta Software - releasing beta software as a commercial product onto the unsuspecting paying public (XP, Vista, etc) is definitely a sin. Bill gets two places down South - one for wealth and the other for beta software
3. Bad driving - people who run red lights, who don't indicate and who drive to close should definitely burn
4. Spamming - no body likes spammers so they deserve a special place at the 'hearth of hell'
5. List MP's - Hey I didn't vote for them
6. Fonterraism - any company that can charge $5 for 2L of milk and $16 for 1Kg of cheese because 'that's what we can get for it in China' deserves a steam bath in Satan's cauldron
7. Paedophilia - yes they make it onto my list, sick bastards
8. A paying membership to PETA - come on animals are tasty.
9. Being a Scientologist - seriously, how can anyone really believe that an alien named Xenu traveled to our planet in a DC-10 and dumped 40 billion souls into a whole lot of volcano's.
10. Oil rich Arabs - in 1998 it was only $11 for a barrel of oil now it is $100. I am sick of paying for excessive and outrageous luxuries like customised A380 aeroplanes. The bubbling pitch pit awaits.

There you have it, the sin list according to Gazza. Feel free to add your own.


Other related posts:
I Thought I would Come Back
Unemployment does get boring
Over the 'i'

Permalink to Damn those Sinners | Add a comment (2 comments) | Main Index

Comment by Dratsab, on 13-Mar-2008 20:18

Great work, I had a good laugh over this one!

Paedophilia should have probably been at the top of their list, but given the scandals that have been rocking them over recent years, it's not surprising to me that it's been left out altogether.

Have a read of this:

Comment by John, on 14-Mar-2008 09:56

When a second-tier Vatican official gives a newspaper interview, he is not proclaiming new Church doctrines. Archbishop Girotti was obviously trying to offer a new, provocative perspective on some enduring truths. The effort backfired-- but in a very revealing way.

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