Geekzone: technology news, blogs, forums
Guest
Welcome Guest.
You haven't logged in yet. If you don't have an account you can register now.
Buying anything on Amazon? Please use the Geekzone Amazon aff link.


View this topic in a long page with up to 500 replies per page Create new topic
1 | ... | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 
9 posts

Wannabe Geek


  Reply # 579448 9-Feb-2012 20:38 Send private message

NokiaRocks: One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

9 posts

Wannabe Geek


  Reply # 579450 9-Feb-2012 20:39 Send private message

Lol someone tell me how to use this thing!!! Sorry, noob being noob here

86 posts

Master Geek
+1 received by user: 1


  Reply # 579454 9-Feb-2012 20:42

Whats the worst thing about farming dildos?

Squatters.

xpd

GTA5 Nut
6501 posts

Uber Geek
+1 received by user: 388

Mod Emeritus
Trusted
Subscriber

  Reply # 585572 23-Feb-2012 10:14 Send private message

At a wedding reception recently someone yelled,
"All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your
life worth living."


The bartender was nearly crushed to death.




XPD / @DemiseNZ / Gavin
 
Check out "Like A Storm" - Official Site

GPKC GTA5 Crew - Fun, social, NZ based

Corsair Carbide SPEC-02 / Corsair VS550 / G.SKILL Ripjaws X 8GB / ASUS 260X / ASUS H81M-E / Intel Pentium K Anniversay G3258



842 posts

Ultimate Geek
+1 received by user: 185


  Reply # 688938 20-Sep-2012 16:51 Send private message

So Prince Charles & Camilla are touring NZ, and during the tour, they have a royal visit with the Maori King at Turangawaewae. Charles and the King have been through the formal part of the proceedings and are chatting in a quiet moment.

The King is curious about the hat that Charles is wearing; its like a Davy Crockett coonskin cap, with the tail hanging down and all, but its made from fox fur.   So he says to Charles, "Hey, Charlie, cuz, what's with the funny-looking hat, bro?"

Prince Charles replies, "Well, you see, I was on the telephone this morning to Mummy, and I said to her, "Mummy, today I'm going to Ingarooare-waaheah to see the Maori King", and she said to me, "Oh, Ingarooare-waaheah, wear the fox hat.""

7344 posts

Uber Geek
+1 received by user: 567

Trusted
Subscriber

  Reply # 707302 27-Oct-2012 08:42 Send private message

A father buys a lie-detector robot that slaps people when they lie.

He decides to test it out at dinner one night.
The father asks his son what he did that day.
The son says, "I did some homework." The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "OK, I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"
Son says, "Toy Story." The robot slaps the son again.
Son says, "OK! OK! We were watching porn!"
Dad says, "What?? At your age I didn't even know what porn was!" The robot slaps the father.
Mum laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son!" The robot slaps the mother.

P.S.: Robot for sale




Amazon & TOGAF certified solution architect
Professional photographer

1 | ... | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 
View this topic in a long page with up to 500 replies per page Create new topic




Twitter »
Follow us to receive Twitter updates when new discussions are posted in our forums:



Follow us to receive Twitter updates when news items and blogs are posted in our frontpage:



Follow us to receive Twitter updates when tech item prices are listed in our price comparison site:





Trending now »

Hot discussions in our forums right now:

Police Camera Van Disguise
Created by Reanalyse, last reply by lNomNoml on 21-Dec-2014 23:33 (75 replies)
Pages... 3 4 5


Do I have the right to return this?
Created by corksta, last reply by kiwibro111 on 21-Dec-2014 23:54 (45 replies)
Pages... 2 3


Slaughter of Innocents
Created by networkn, last reply by networkn on 19-Dec-2014 17:46 (64 replies)
Pages... 3 4 5


Spray Foam Insulation
Created by AACTech, last reply by timbosan on 19-Dec-2014 16:58 (36 replies)
Pages... 2 3


Crew Drinking on Flights - Why!?
Created by networkn, last reply by Geektastic on 22-Dec-2014 09:35 (34 replies)
Pages... 2 3


Spark, the least secure part of your home network?
Created by NZtechfreak, last reply by NZtechfreak on 22-Dec-2014 14:05 (16 replies)
Pages... 2


Couriers starting to charge for redelivery
Created by mattwnz, last reply by rendezvous on 19-Dec-2014 11:45 (78 replies)
Pages... 4 5 6


Some lowlife is using my easy to remember number to commit idiocy
Created by joker97, last reply by kiwitrc on 22-Dec-2014 13:35 (13 replies)


Geekzone Live »

Try automatic live updates from Geekzone directly in your browser, without refreshing the page, with Geekzone Live now.

Are you subscribed to our RSS feed? You can download the latest headlines and summaries from our stories directly to your computer or smartphone by using a feed reader.

Alternatively, you can receive a daily email with Geekzone updates.