Geekzone: technology news, blogs, forums
Guest
Welcome Guest.
You haven't logged in yet. If you don't have an account you can register now.

View this topic in a long page with up to 500 replies per page Create new topic
Prev1 | ... | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 
9 posts

Wannabe Geek


  Reply # 579448 9-Feb-2012 20:38 Send private message

NokiaRocks: One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

9 posts

Wannabe Geek


  Reply # 579450 9-Feb-2012 20:39 Send private message

Lol someone tell me how to use this thing!!! Sorry, noob being noob here

76 posts

Master Geek


  Reply # 579454 9-Feb-2012 20:42

Whats the worst thing about farming dildos?

Squatters.

xpd

Minecraft n00b
5288 posts

Uber Geek

Moderator
Trusted
Subscriber

  Reply # 585572 23-Feb-2012 10:14 Send private message

At a wedding reception recently someone yelled,
"All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your
life worth living."


The bartender was nearly crushed to death.




XPD / @DemiseNZ / Gavin
Website

CPU : Intel E5300  GFX: Geforce 9800GTX/+  RAM: 3GB DDR2

A+ - MCDST - MCTS
CCNA Arriving soon.



571 posts

Ultimate Geek


  Reply # 688938 20-Sep-2012 16:51 Send private message

So Prince Charles & Camilla are touring NZ, and during the tour, they have a royal visit with the Maori King at Turangawaewae. Charles and the King have been through the formal part of the proceedings and are chatting in a quiet moment.

The King is curious about the hat that Charles is wearing; its like a Davy Crockett coonskin cap, with the tail hanging down and all, but its made from fox fur.   So he says to Charles, "Hey, Charlie, cuz, what's with the funny-looking hat, bro?"

Prince Charles replies, "Well, you see, I was on the telephone this morning to Mummy, and I said to her, "Mummy, today I'm going to Ingarooare-waaheah to see the Maori King", and she said to me, "Oh, Ingarooare-waaheah, wear the fox hat.""

3737 posts

Uber Geek

Trusted
Subscriber

  Reply # 707302 27-Oct-2012 08:42 Send private message

A father buys a lie-detector robot that slaps people when they lie.

He decides to test it out at dinner one night.
The father asks his son what he did that day.
The son says, "I did some homework." The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "OK, I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"
Son says, "Toy Story." The robot slaps the son again.
Son says, "OK! OK! We were watching porn!"
Dad says, "What?? At your age I didn't even know what porn was!" The robot slaps the father.
Mum laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son!" The robot slaps the mother.

P.S.: Robot for sale




Asus eee pad transformer
iPod 2G
Windows 7 PC
Lots and lots of Nikon camera gear

Prev1 | ... | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 
View this topic in a long page with up to 500 replies per page Create new topic



Twitter »
Follow us to receive Twitter updates when new discussions are posted in our forums:



Follow us to receive Twitter updates when news items and blogs are posted in our frontpage:



Follow us to receive Twitter updates when new jobs are posted to our jobs board:



Follow us to receive Twitter updates when tech item prices are listed in our price comparison site:




News »

Trending now »
Hot discussions in our forums right now:

How do you fall out of a moving car ???
Created by Mark, last reply by surfisup1000 on 21-May-2013 22:40 (19 replies)
Pages... 2


A new project coming to Geekzone
Created by freitasm, last reply by xpd on 21-May-2013 21:19 (239 replies)
Pages... 14 15 16


Changeover issue: dial up
Created by Zigg, last reply by robjg63 on 21-May-2013 22:02 (17 replies)
Pages... 2


HTC One (2013) owners' discussion
Created by Dingbatt, last reply by Technofreak on 21-May-2013 22:11 (1508 replies)
Pages... 99 100 101


$200 Smart Phone!? Ideas..
Created by antaeusa, last reply by antaeusa on 21-May-2013 21:55 (32 replies)
Pages... 2 3


Orcon, Is this for real or a scam??
Created by old3eyes, last reply by mattwnz on 21-May-2013 13:20 (15 replies)

Vodafone Naked Broadband Speeds (Auckland CBD)
Created by wscalioni, last reply by grkiwi on 20-May-2013 21:13 (14 replies)

Ubiquiti Rocket M2 bridged - Does distance/performance drop markedly if units are mounted inside?
Created by clinty, last reply by clinty on 21-May-2013 23:02 (13 replies)


Geekzone Jobs »
Most recent NZ jobs in technology:

Application Support Analyst
Posted 21-May-2013 22:27

SAP Performance Test Lead
Posted 21-May-2013 22:27

Senior MI Analyst
Posted 21-May-2013 19:27

Software Engineer
Posted 21-May-2013 18:27

Senior C#.Net Developer ? 6 Months Fixed Term
Posted 21-May-2013 18:27

Senior Java Developer
Posted 21-May-2013 18:27

Intermediate Technical Analyst
Posted 21-May-2013 18:27


Geekzone Live »
Try automatic live updates from Geekzone directly in your browser, without refreshing the page, with Geekzone Live now.

Are you subscribed to our RSS feed? You can download the latest headlines and summaries from our stories directly to your computer or smartphone by using a feed reader.

Alternatively, you can receive a daily email with Geekzone updates.