Mobile devices, Planets and the Human Condition


A few bad jokes...

, posted: 30-Jun-2008 12:57

 

A leper goes to watch a baseball game but when he gets there, he
has trouble finding a seat. Because pieces of him are peeling and
flaking off, he's very concerned about grossing out the other
fans.

The leper wanders through the bleachers looking for a seat where
his grotesque appearance won't disturb anyone. Finally, he finds
an open seat where he might be able to watch the game. He asks
the man in the adjoining seat if it would be okay to sit there.

The man answers, "Yeah. Just sit down, shut up, and watch the
game."

The leper sits down and adds, "As you can see, I have leprosy. If
it disturbs you, I'll move."

"It doesn't bother me. Just shut up, and watch the game."

A while later, during the fourth inning, the man suddenly vomits.
Frothy beer, hot dogs, and peanuts are splattered everywhere.

Seeing this, the leper gets up and says, "Thank you for allowing
me to sit next to you, but I can see that my appearance has
caused you to get sick. I'll find another place to sit."

"It's NOT you. Just sit down, shut up, and watch the game."

So the leper sits back down. But during the sixth inning, the man
begins to vomit again. This time it is projectile vomitus. A
powerful blast of beer and pretzels shoots out from the man's
mouth and nose until his stomach is completely emptied.

Seeing this, the leper gets up and says, "Thank you for allowing
me to sit next to you, but it's obvious that my appearance has
caused you to get sick. I'll find another place to sit."

"Really, it's NOT you.... Just sit down, shut up, and watch the
game."

So the leper sits back down. But during the seventh inning, the
man begins to vomit again. This time it is the dry heaves. The
leper feels absolutely awful at the sight of this man suffering.
And once again, the leper offers to leave.

But the man insists, "Really, it's NOT you."

So the leper asks, "Well if it's not me that is making you so
sick, than what is it?"

"It's that guy behind you... He keeps dipping his nachos in your
back!"
---------------

A nice young worker from the Post Office, was sorting through her
regular envelopes, when she discovered a letter addressed as
follows:

 GOD
c/o Heaven

Upon opening the envelope, a letter enclosed told of how a little
old lady, who had never asked for anything in her life, was
desperately in need of $100 and was wondering if God could send
her the money.

Well the young lady was deeply touched and arranged a collection
from her fellow workmates. She collected $90 and sent it off to
the old lady.

A few weeks later another letter arrived addressed to God, so the
young lady opened it and it read

"Dear God,
Thank you for the money, I deeply appreciate it, however I only
received $90. It must have been those bastards at the Post
Office."

----------
The above two jokes, I don't know where they came from orignally and I don't know if they are copyright or some other form of somebodies properties, if they are yours I'm happy to give credit or remove them.


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Other related posts:
Terrible, bad and a selection of Groaner jokes..
Large Hadron Collider Live Streaming webcam
Some Old classic jokes - "groaners"






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^^ lol don't know what that is!



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