Caption contest: Helen Clark meets Steve Ballmer
I wonder what the PM's looking at on the tablet PC? Not Ian Wishart's site or Kiwiblog I hope.
According to the press release I got, it was a warm and cosy moment in Redmond, like this...
New Zealand Prime Minister Helen Clark (seated, left) testing the latest productivity solutions during a visit to Microsoft corporate headquarters on Friday. With her are (seated, right) Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer and (standing, left) Helen Robinson, general manager, Microsoft New Zealand, and (standing, center) Chris Liddell, Microsoft senior vice president and CFO.
During the visit, the group exchanged a broad range of ideas around technology solutions designed to create opportunities for New Zealand’s continued economic development and growth plans.
Damn it, if I had known, I'd have given the PM some questions on Vista DRM to bother Bullhorn Ballmer with.
OK, everyone: what are they really saying to each other? Wittiest entry wins a Bluetooth Microsoft Presenter 3000 laser pointer for those dazzling PowerPoint moments. It's not in the original packaging, sorry: opened it up to see if it was working and it's one of those plastic packs that hates me so errm, it got destroyed. Look for my short review of it that'll I post soon on the blog.
New Zealand entrants only, judge's (me) decision is final without any discussion being entered into.
Update This wouldn't be Geekzone if I didn't spy on the EXIF information... the picture has been Photoshopped (version 7.0) - why? I thought Microsoft had its Photoshop killer out already?
The original was taken on March 24, at 8.33 in the morning. Uck. The snapper used a Canon EOS-1D Mark II, with the picture being taken at 1/100s, lens at f/5 and the ISO speed at 400; focal length 30mm and pattern metering mode used. Manual program mode and automatic white balance selected. :)
Update I'm going to leave the competition going until early next week, and then decide. Also, I'd appreciate it if the caption suggestions focus on humour and wit, and not unpleasant personal remarks. I'm going to weed out some of those now, actually - instant disqualification, in other words.
Tag(s):
Other related posts:
Today’s incomprehensible Windows security warning
Today's strange Internet Explorer 8 error message
Microsoft takes the wind out of Windows 7's sails
Comment by tonyhughes, on 26-MAR-2007 10:02
Clark: So all I do is click "Okay" hand you the keys to NZ, and walk away?
Ballmer: There is the small window at the bottom its a 38 million page EULA for selling your country - you need to tick 'I have read and understood' before continuing.,,
Comment by chiefie, on 26-MAR-2007 10:03
Helen Clark: "So... like... will this speed up NZ's broadband speed?"
Steve Ballmer: "As long as NZ is running Vista, the country should work flawlessly fast."
Helen Clark: "What about helping Telecom NZ with their migration to wireless-CDMA that Vodafone NZ is using?"
Steve Ballmer: "What network is Telecom NZ operating now?"
Helen Clark: "CDMA?"
Steve Ballmer: "Just cut the wire, then you get yourself a wireless-CDMA."
Comment by freitasm, on 26-MAR-2007 10:08
Ballmer: All Your Bases Are Belong To Us!
Comment by lurker, on 26-MAR-2007 10:21
"Steve, which Photoshop function do you recommend to make my signature look like it belongs on this painting."
"Oh, no need for that. There's nothing you can't do with MS-Paint Helen."
Comment by KC, on 26-MAR-2007 10:26
"Oh dear, I must remember to schedule a tanning salon visit soon. I can't see anything these guys are talking about behind that deathly pale reflection on the screen."
Comment by nairda, on 26-MAR-2007 10:31
Where's the tubes?
Comment by Jama, on 26-MAR-2007 10:50
Wow this technology is amazing. It didn't take long at all for that Brad Shipton video to appear on YouTube.
Comment by sbiddle, on 26-MAR-2007 10:51
"This new version of Live Messenger with realtime webcam airbrushing is fantastic"
Comment by Jama, on 26-MAR-2007 10:52
Or...
Not sure about that handwriting recognition though. Every time I go to write Google it crashes.
Comment by Sycophant, on 26-MAR-2007 10:58
Ballmer: "Prime Ministers, Prime Ministers, Prime Ministers, Prime Ministers, Prime Ministers, Prime Ministers, Prime Ministers, Prime Ministers, Prime Ministers!!!!!"
Ballmer: "WHO SAID SIT DOWN?!?!!!"
Comment by Colin Wilson, on 26-MAR-2007 11:25
My god, is that what the NZ cops were doing????
Comment by Hamish, on 26-MAR-2007 11:35
Lol @ Sycophant.
--
I'm not funny enough to come up with a caption ("HELLO COMPUTER!" comes to mind).. but I do like the irony in that picture: for all the wonders of technology they still need a block of wood to prop the precious thing up.
Comment by Hamish, on 26-MAR-2007 11:43
...although it's probably the latest OEM offering from Microsoft, only $399 when you upgrade to Vista Tablet edition. Known bugs: catastrophic structural failure when used as a paper-weight, door-stop or other non-microsoft-proscribed purpose. Explodes on contact with desks older the 3 months. Requires regular updates from Microsofts website. Which is difficult because it, like, doesn't connect to the internet.
Comment by lugh, on 26-MAR-2007 12:28
Hellz: "This new Mac is really flash! And it comes in black!"
Steve-O: {frozen grimace as a chill wind blows through the room}
Comment by lugh, on 26-MAR-2007 12:32
Or...
Hellz: "For the last time Steve, that's Australia and here's New Zealand!"
Steve-O: "New where?"
Comment by Pete, on 26-MAR-2007 12:43
HC: This is the interface for vista? I'm going to be sick!
Comment by KevDaly, on 26-MAR-2007 12:49
"So this is what you've been up to, Uncle Festus"
"I knew I couldn't hide from you, Morticia".
And me a Labour voter and Microsoft user...
Comment by lyndon, on 26-MAR-2007 13:48
KC: "...that deathly pale reflection on the screen..."
Judging by the photo, she isn't the kind of person who makes a reflection.
Comment by peteremcc, on 26-MAR-2007 14:20
but... where's the mouse?
Comment by jenny, on 26-MAR-2007 14:55
OH SHOOT-We just got outbid on Iraq
Comment by Bart, on 26-MAR-2007 17:15
A few sorry:
1. "I wish the country was this easy to run..."
2. "Do you know where the 'On' button is?" - SteveB
"It's on the right hand side Steve.." - HelenC
3. HelenC: "Hmmm, MSFT is down $1..."
SteveB: "What? But I haven't said anything today!"
4. HelenC : "Wow! This pen is really neat!"
HelenR : "She's so sumb..."
ChrisL : "He's so dumb..."
SteveB : "She's so hot..."
5. SteveB: "Look into my eyes... you are getting sleepy... sleepy..."
6. HelenR "Chris' butt does look big in that..."
Comment by Bart, on 26-MAR-2007 17:20
HelenC: "Yeah! Clippy!"
SteveB - thinks: "USD$6.2 billion on Research and Development and all I get is 'Yeah Clippy'?"
Comment by Bart, on 26-MAR-2007 19:38
I'm no fashionista but...
What's with Helen wearing a Star Trek uniform to MS?
That whole thing about the Borg is so 90s...
HelenC:
This Vista thing and this Tablet whatnot are great but...
Can I still run Microsoft Bob on this?
SteveB:
Say what?
Comment by kent, on 26-MAR-2007 21:24
Ballmer: Saying "Helen, you've got a budget surplus right???..."
Clarke: Thinking..."I wonder if I can run ubuntu and beryl on this".
Liddell: Thinking... "Just smile and pretend not to notice the SIS file in the blue folder.".
Robinson: Thinking... "My jacket's a bit short. I must remember to ask the photoshop guy to extend the arms and waist a bit".
-KENT
Comment by Al, on 26-MAR-2007 21:43
The Internet? Theresa's explained that to me. I'm still confused.
Comment by darrylb, on 26-MAR-2007 21:45
Its what they are thinking....
Clark - "how do I work this??"
Ballmer - "she doesn't have a clue..."
Comment by barnaclebarnes, on 26-MAR-2007 22:00
After an awkward silence.
Is this blue screen a new screensaver?
Comment by dmw, on 26-MAR-2007 22:01
HC: I know you said they're idiot-proof, but I'm struggling to think of anyone in my cabinet who could use one.
[thinks] (Oh... I would, of course, when in a motorcade.)
Comment by lugh, on 27-MAR-2007 06:57
Steve-O: "See Hellz, your little country is way down the list on our plan for MS world domination."
Comment by lyndon, on 27-MAR-2007 08:11
Clark: You sunk my battleship!
Comment by Paul, on 27-MAR-2007 11:27
"You throw enough chairs and your eyes always get like this"
Comment by burt, on 27-MAR-2007 12:02
HC: So what you are saying is that this software will air-brush my appearance and give me perfect teeth in real time ?
Comment by Colin, on 27-MAR-2007 12:29
Is this 'Hagar Proof' ?
Can it run Broadband speeds of 128k ?
Cool - now I can read the CYPS blog
Comment by Dirtyrx, on 27-MAR-2007 12:41
Helen C - arghhhh, I can see myself
Comment by Berend de Boer, on 27-MAR-2007 12:42
Ballmer: the smartest of our Ferengi engineers have worked tireless to create the best operating system ever. Captain, this piece of engineering will make the Enterprise the best operating ship of your entire Federation.
Comment by Tracy Page, on 27-MAR-2007 12:42
So this is the software they used for my billboards during the last election
Comment by James, on 27-MAR-2007 12:50
Ballmer: "Developers, developers, developers, developers.."
or
Ballmer: "So as you see the reflection on this tablet closely resembles that of my bald patch, yeah?"
Comment by PC, on 27-MAR-2007 14:00
* "Will this bring back the colour to my cheeks?"
* "Oops! Where's the Twink?"
* BALLMER: "I bet you and Chris have got a lot to catch up on when we finish up here -- is that the 'Growth and Innovation Agenda' you two cooked up?"
Comment by Andy Moore, on 27-MAR-2007 16:06
or...
oh, looking in this reflective screen I can see that my suit really looks like something out of the old star-trek movies...
Comment by steve, on 27-MAR-2007 16:33
Isn't that a wire running out of Ballmer's tablet??
Doesnt look like MS has got the hang of this new fangled wireless thing
Comment by fishbowlnz, on 27-MAR-2007 17:35
Yeah of course we can wack this guy... We do this all the time... so his name is John Key right ?
Comment by PC, on 27-MAR-2007 18:11
You prefer Tippex, Juha?
Comment by Paul, on 27-MAR-2007 20:18
"Don't look now but the ghost of Michelle Boag is peering over my shoulder. I'll need some garlic, a cross and a solid, hefty stake."
Comment by Bob Green, on 27-MAR-2007 20:32
I don't have a clever comment... but for a split second I thought I was looking at a picture of the munsters.
Comment by Chris Auld, on 27-MAR-2007 20:39
Devlopers...Devlopers...Devlopers...Devlopers...Devlopers...Devlopers...Devlopers...Devlopers...Devlopers...Devlopers...Devlopers...Devlopers...Devlopers...Devlopers...Devlopers...Devlopers...
Comment by karen, on 27-MAR-2007 21:31
Oh shit! How do I bluff my way through this one?
Comment by cargo, on 27-MAR-2007 21:31
Beam me up Scotty!!
Comment by Fox, on 27-MAR-2007 23:26
Clark: this picture of me looks a bit rough, not very flattering at all...
Ballmer: ehhh... that's your reflection Helen. Now turn the thing on...
Comment by sneeeky, on 28-MAR-2007 23:19
1. Clark: So Steve isn't this rather big for a PDA? Even my Apple Newton was smaller - and better at spelling
2) Clark : If I'm reading this diagram correctly Chris it says "you put your LEFT leg in you put your LEFT leg out"
Comment by Cathi, on 29-MAR-2007 11:43
"So, instead of my natty blue folder you want me to lug this around to my meetings?"
or:
"So, Vista will make my screen as big as yours? I mean the one hanging on the wall behind you there"
or, judging by the looks on their faces:
SB: Hey, check out this my pic of me in my birthday suit, no digital enhancements ya know! What do you think of that huh?
HC: errrrrr...
Comment by Pita, on 29-MAR-2007 17:01
Well...you got my battleship and submarine, conventionally powered of course,heh!
Comment by Indigo iMac, on 30-MAR-2007 22:32
Steve Ballmer: Now, shall we sign in blood?
Comment by NeillR, on 2-APR-2007 07:50
Clark: "Yeah, five years ago i sucked them into thinking we were transforming the economy, i reckon i could get another five if i flashed one of these at a Press conference."
Comment by Will Dee, on 2-APR-2007 10:20
HC: So my email really is secure ?
Comment by Mike densem, on 4-APR-2007 08:22
Helen reflects: 'Wear the Tron costume Helen' they said, don't I feel stupid.
Comment by hinamanu, on 30-SEP-2007 19:43
"Excellent technology gentleman, but is it good enough to block Nicky Hager?"
Comment by Christo, on 5-DEC-2007 10:37
So how much of the tax payers money did we spend on these.
Around 4.5 million for each.
Wow that was cheaper than a square metre of Auckland road.
Lets buy 3 for each office, and then never use them again!
Done.
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Comment by CLM, on 26-MAR-2007 10:00
Our R&D guys came up with the Tablet PC but it was my idea to use a bread roll as a pen holder