Microsofts Love-Hate Registry Relationship

By Michael Marneros, in , posted: 17-Oct-2008 14:10

Laughed my way to the programmers with this little find!

I Thought We Weren’t Supposed to Change Settings in the Registry?
As you probably know, Microsoft has a sort of love-hate relationship with the registry. The registry is the configuration database for Windows and Windows applications, and many options can only be set by manually changing a value in the registry. For example, if you’ve ever read a Microsoft Knowledge Base article, you’ve likely seen a sentence similar to this:

To correct this problem, change the following value in the registry.

Now that’s fine, except that this sentence is invariably followed by a disclaimer similar to this one:

Don’t ever change a value in the registry. Ever. We know we just told you to do that, but would you jump off a cliff if we told you to? Don’t ever change a value in the registry. Don’t even say the word registry. We know a guy once who said the word registry, and three days later he was hit by a bus. True story. As a matter of fact, you shouldn’t even have a registry on your computer. If you suspect that you do have a registry on your computer, call us and a trained professional will be dispatched to your office to remove the registry immediately. If you accidentally touch the registry, wash your hands with soap and water and call a doctor. Do not swallow the registry or get it in your eyes!

More information

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Michael Marneros
New Zealand

What do I do?
I work for a Software Development company teaching people how to use our amazingly simple & yet complex software.  I also test the software for bugs, and help come up with ideas for improving our software for our customers.

What do I do when i'm not working?
Usually at home enjoying my wife's company or enjoying time with friends, & playing games or watching tv/movies. I love most kinds of movies.

I love computer games and music. I have taught myself Piano, and created my own style and sorta tinker from there. Compose my own music & currently working on some Electronica projects. You can download and listen to some of my works for free from here.  Or check out my soundcloud here.

Yes, they are terrible inventions, sent to make peoples lives supposedly easier. So far I get enjoyment out of the ease of communication (I hate hand writing letters) & how close it has made the world. Constantly called upon by friends to help with somewhat simple tasks (removing viruses, installing applications, hiding the material they want hidden from their partners).

Web design & Hosting:
I dabble in web design, getting the occasional contract via friends or through word of mouth.  Here are some of my projects. 

Trott's Garden - Internationally recognised garden design, Alan & Catherine Trott are my first customers

Container Waste - Recent project presented to me by their graphic designer

The Cheshire Cats Grin - My wife was diagnosed with cancer & she REALLY needed an outlet.  So I setup this wordpress blog to express herself.  We also decided to trial those Penguin Cold Caps to help prevent her from losing hair during the Chemo.

Darjon Vineyard - A venue for weddings or events.