It's true, it happened to a friend of a friend of mine...

The Child You Always Wanted But Didnt Know You Were Getting

, posted: 11-Dec-2007 13:37

Phew!  What a title, but there is a reason for it.  I am just cleaning up Last Child's messy bedroom.  It was inherited from female number two, who was known to be quite messy, but he has surpassed it all.

He has even surpassed geek-child's messy 'squat' that I had to clean up last year.  I only did it on compassionate grounds for the senior citizen who's retirement fund it was.  Several males, a few feral females and many truanters inhabited the 'squat', and I name it that because most of them were squatters and paid my son diddly-squat for the privilege.  I think they used to get stoned and run up the walls...  Literally, as there were footprints up higher than I could reach without a step ladder.  It took me a while to realise those things in the laundry sink were not maggots, but dead bits of rice.  I still cannot go past the laundry detergent without wanting to heave, such is the association of laundry smells and 'maggots'.

I know it's disgusting, I will get back to the title now. 

At daughter number two's 21st family do, I put my foot in my mouth completely be mentioning that 'the boy' (who had just been sent to his bedroom for inappropriate behaviour) was the child I had so desperately wanted after miscarrying.  Now I apologise to any lady who has lost a child in any way, especially if it is only recently.  But a certain relation started to cry and then somebody else was a bit harsh on me (I don't really fit in to this family, being different to the rest of them, and also being a christian....).  At that point I thought it a bit much to hold yourself as the only person in the universe to have suffered loss of this sort.  Sorry, forgot to say this certain someone had miscarried before my husband even realised he had forgotten to tell me she was 'with child'.  I thought I had had a deep revelation about the child I had given birth to after miscarrying.  This child, I had realised, was the one I had so desperately wanted...

(I apologise for rambling, but I am still in shock from this morning's cleaning effort.)

So, said son was diagnosed when he was nine as having Aspergers Syndrome.  He finally taught himself to read when he was almost 11, using Footrot Flats books.  (Thanks, Murray, you are a legend.)  He has been drawing on anything and everything since he could hold a pencil.  He can draw a car from having seen it on Top Gear in one of their five minute sections.  Perfectly.  His knowledge of firearms drives me nuts, and we have lots of great discussions on history.  Causes of war, specific battles, etc, etc.  He is probably gifted in English, he never shuts up, and he only managed to answer two questions out of four in his alotted time in his year ten English exam, giving him a merit and an excellent.  Last year he passed maths with about 30% mark on his exam.  (How do they do that?) 

And after trying to get his high school to actually teach him, I go to a different Dr and find, yes, he does have Aspergers Syndrome, as well as ADHD and Oppostional Defiance Disorder.  Now he is on medication (no, not ritalin), and has gone from swearing at the art teacher, hitting him, and the same to his class mates, to a really nice kid.  At school at least...  And all in one term.  I told the DR he probably got the ADHD and Aspergers from my side of the family, I have ADD and my aunty is probably Aspergers - she has a degree in criminology and a long history of weirdness...
Nuff said, This is my precious child who goes AWOL sometimes, has been beaten up on the way home from school and desperately wants to be normal - I cannot be his minder.  I think we will pull up the rotting carpet in his room and replace it with vynil. 

And later on I might tell you how my husband is going on the Efalex.  Because he has ADHD too.  (Efalex is Evening Primrose Oil and Tuna Oil which geek-boy used to take as a child for his ADHD...  (He's getting there...)

I have added a link to a good Aspergers site.  Another great place for help is  . 
My thanks to Moira Buchanan from the Learning and Behaviour Charitable Trust of New Zealand for putting us on to the doctor involved.

More information

Other related posts:
So, How's Junior?
Losing our sponsored child...

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Linda George
New Zealand

Five Children*, Three Cats*,
One Husband, One of Me.
(Oddly enough...)
A few Aussie Accents,
One dedicated Kiwi,
Several ANZACS.
Go Figure.

*One Kitty Kat...

What I write from my life might just help you in yours...