Crumpet Toast - all you ever wanted to know

By tonyhughes Hughes, in , posted: 10-Jul-2006 14:38

Okay, so Im a crumpet fan (as in the round things that go in the toaster).

Rule # 1
Crumpets should be "Golden Crumpets" brand. Sorry Quality Bakers, your crumpets are shit, give up.

Thats about it really.

Then I saw 'Crumpet Toast' advertised on the televisão. And I think to myself "I must have that, immediately."

I dont know why I bothered. Its terrible. Imagine a badly done 'specialty' bagged & sliced bread, that is dense, and kind of tasteless, then add shredded cardboard to the recipe.

Sorry, Golden... you missed the mark with Crumpet Toast. If poor sales havent given you a heads up, then take my advice, and drop this product line.

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Comment by freitasm, on 10-Jul-2006 15:14

This is, seriously, one of the funniest blog entries I've ever read...

Author's note by tonyhughes, on 10-Jul-2006 15:48

Thankyou! I had mentioned in #geekzone on DALNet that I would post a reiew of Crumpet Toast... so i was really just fulfilling that :-)

Author's note by tonyhughes, on 10-Jul-2006 16:03

incidentally, looking at a google search for golden crumpets, it probably wont take much for this page to be #1 result...

Comment by Jama, on 10-Jul-2006 16:21

I like Crumpets as well. Thanks for the heads up I was going to try the 'toast' now I wont bother. What do you like on your Crumpets? I prefer savoury myself - Vegemite and cheese.

Author's note by tonyhughes, on 10-Jul-2006 16:41

either butter on its own, or butter and vegetime... havent had cheese on them since i was a kid, might try it again... thanks!

Comment by Jama, on 10-Jul-2006 16:47

As long as it is Tasty Cheese I hate that mild shite

Author's note by tonyhughes, on 10-Jul-2006 17:05

mmmm girl of the house shys away from tasty, i like it though.

Comment by bradstewart, on 10-Jul-2006 17:13

Golden syrup!!

Comment by Brenda, on 10-Jul-2006 21:21

mmmmm.. with RASPBERRY SAUCE (millicent grove brand)

Comment by Plug, on 11-Jul-2006 17:40

Your first problem came in your first sentence. Crumpets do NOT go in the toaster! They get lightly fried in butter, in the frying pan!

Author's note by tonyhughes, on 11-Jul-2006 18:07

fried in butter! you my friend, are a frikkin GENIUS! THANKYOU! I shall try this asap!

Comment by Rozzo, on 12-Jul-2006 21:59

Mate, I hope you die. Crumpet toast is actully the best thing sliced bread. You are shit.

Author's note by tonyhughes, on 13-Jul-2006 09:36

Hey clpwned (Rozzo), man, you are so sad. I talk about crumpets, and you wish death upon me? I hope someone kicks you ass, wherever on this planet you are.

Comment by Crumpet Toast!, on 14-Jul-2006 16:39

Maybe you were drunk when referring to the fore mentioned product "Crumpet Toast". First of all, your taste must be hindered by the fact you actually look like a crumpet (of the round variety) and feel a bilged to stand up for them. It's almost like you're trying to protect a younger crumpet brother. It's time that you moved on and tried new things. You, and you're crumpet looking brothers, are why the round tea bag never took off.... It looks like toast, it cooks like toast and tastes like a bloody crumpet! Brilliant! Enough said...move on!

Comment by bradstewart, on 14-Jul-2006 21:17

Denny Crane

Comment by andrew, on 23-Aug-2006 16:30

I wholeheartedly agree tony, it is shit. Looks like toast, smells like toast, tastes like, well, toast. It just tastes like vogels or something. I realise that nobody's probably read this for a while but you guys forgot one vital crumpet topping, peanut butter, or there's always the old cheese/ham combo.

Comment by Dylan crumpet toast watson, on 28-Apr-2007 22:34

Doods get real. Crumpet toast is where its at. I had prayed this day would come and now that it is here i dont know what to do with my self. Do I make sangers out of it, make jaffles or what? The possibilities are endless. Crumpet toast may well bring an end to third world hunger as we know it. I for one wholeheartedly and unashamedly endorse this product and will do anything to defend its Godly goodness. Farewell crumpet lovers. The Earth will never be the same again. peace

Comment by stevonz, on 16-Nov-2007 13:43

Hey,  I used to make crumpets after school for a couple of years.  Honeycomb crumptets was the outfit in CHCH and we sold mainly to dairies (wihout packing) and to some other bigger bakeries who branded the product as their own.  They were square too, WAY WAY better than golden....

Comment by 8 Pack, on 25-Mar-2009 19:13

Whatever happened to the 8 packs of crumpets? Who made those? 6 is just not enough.......

Comment by fraseyboy, on 24-Apr-2009 16:25

I disagree.

Crumpet toast is dense, and it does taste like cardboard on its on.


It's like sex. Except I'm having it.

Comment by blacksand, on 11-Aug-2009 21:51

yeah nah overall I have to agree with the review; got very excited when I saw this in the supermarket, and very disappointed with the result. I do have to say thought, that the thought is simply orgasmic, and for that reason I'm happy that we once again have some in the freezer. The 'jaffles' idea is a bloody good one though, and may resurrect the bastards. I cxan only assume that a jaffle is what we here call a 'toasted sandwich'. Might try peanut butter and dark plum jam with lots and lots of butter. And god, lightly frying crumpets in butter, that is genius. Speaking as someone who learnt to make his own crumpets but never thought to take it to this level. Genius.

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