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9 posts

Wannabe Geek


  Reply # 579448 9-Feb-2012 20:38 Send private message

NokiaRocks: One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

9 posts

Wannabe Geek


  Reply # 579450 9-Feb-2012 20:39 Send private message

Lol someone tell me how to use this thing!!! Sorry, noob being noob here

92 posts

Master Geek
+1 received by user: 1


  Reply # 579454 9-Feb-2012 20:42

Whats the worst thing about farming dildos?

Squatters.

xpd

Like A Storm
8005 posts

Uber Geek
+1 received by user: 986

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  Reply # 585572 23-Feb-2012 10:14 Send private message

At a wedding reception recently someone yelled,
"All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your
life worth living."


The bartender was nearly crushed to death.




XPD / @DemiseNZ / Gavin
 
Corsair Carbide SPEC-02 / Corsair VS550 / G.SKILL Ripjaws X 8GB / Zotac 760GTX AMP! / ASUS H81M-E / Intel Pentium K Anniversay G3258

 

Internet provided by : Voyager - VDSL 54/10  -  Musical Support by : Like A Storm - Visual Entertainment by : Plex and Steam and Overwatch


1252 posts

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+1 received by user: 471


  Reply # 688938 20-Sep-2012 16:51 Send private message

So Prince Charles & Camilla are touring NZ, and during the tour, they have a royal visit with the Maori King at Turangawaewae. Charles and the King have been through the formal part of the proceedings and are chatting in a quiet moment.

The King is curious about the hat that Charles is wearing; its like a Davy Crockett coonskin cap, with the tail hanging down and all, but its made from fox fur.   So he says to Charles, "Hey, Charlie, cuz, what's with the funny-looking hat, bro?"

Prince Charles replies, "Well, you see, I was on the telephone this morning to Mummy, and I said to her, "Mummy, today I'm going to Ingarooare-waaheah to see the Maori King", and she said to me, "Oh, Ingarooare-waaheah, wear the fox hat.""

12396 posts

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  Reply # 707302 27-Oct-2012 08:42 Send private message

A father buys a lie-detector robot that slaps people when they lie.

He decides to test it out at dinner one night.
The father asks his son what he did that day.
The son says, "I did some homework." The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "OK, I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"
Son says, "Toy Story." The robot slaps the son again.
Son says, "OK! OK! We were watching porn!"
Dad says, "What?? At your age I didn't even know what porn was!" The robot slaps the father.
Mum laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son!" The robot slaps the mother.

P.S.: Robot for sale




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