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Lock him up!
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  # 2057086 16-Jul-2018 14:15
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And people think Stuff is bad.

 

 





I don't think there is ever a bad time to talk about how absurd war is, how old men make decisions and young people die. - George Clooney
 


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  # 2059219 20-Jul-2018 10:09
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I know this isn't Stuff or Herald, but I thought it was typical of Florida news

"Florida man says he wasn't drinking while driving -- only at stop lights and stop signs"

http://mycbs4.com/news/local/florida-man-drinking-behind-the-wheel-but-claimed-he-only-took-swigs-at-stop-signs

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  # 2059318 20-Jul-2018 14:01
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RunningMan: TVNZ reporter tear gassed during Football World Cup riots in Paris

That sounds bad until you get almost to the end of the drama story and you find


Reid said she and the camera operator had walked back the 400m to the hotel from their spot on the Champs Elysees after the crowds had left but there had not been enough time for the tear gas to disappear and they walked through it.



Ha.

Up there with the "man who once visited New Zealand on holiday gets Nobel Prize' line of reporting.





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  # 2059321 20-Jul-2018 14:12
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freitasm:

"Anzac spirit: Haunting words of Wellington solider feature in new memorial"



Constipation is a terrible thing in the military. Maybe they meant ‘soilder’ - which is the opposite.





Sometimes I just sit and think. Other times I just sit.


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  # 2059327 20-Jul-2018 14:26
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eracode:
freitasm:

"Anzac spirit: Haunting words of Wellington solider feature in new memorial"



Constipation is a terrible thing in the military. Maybe they meant ‘soilder’ - which is the opposite.



I re-thought this and came back to delete it because I thought it was just way too stupid - then saw it had a +1. Oh well ....




Sometimes I just sit and think. Other times I just sit.


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  # 2059564 20-Jul-2018 18:34
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Best yet.

"Cow trapped on cliff gets down with help from dogs, owner"





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  # 2059872 21-Jul-2018 11:32
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Geektastic:
RunningMan: TVNZ reporter tear gassed during Football World Cup riots in Paris

 

That sounds bad until you get almost to the end of the drama story and you find

 

Reid said she and the camera operator had walked back the 400m to the hotel from their spot on the Champs Elysees after the crowds had left but there had not been enough time for the tear gas to disappear and they walked through it.

 


 

Correct headline: TVNZ reporter to stupid to not walk through tear gas.

 

OTOH, that's not exactly news either.

 

 


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  # 2060365 22-Jul-2018 12:02
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Breaking News: Police Surround Los Angeles Grocery Store

 

 

 

 






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  # 2060371 22-Jul-2018 12:28
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frankv:

Geektastic:
RunningMan: TVNZ reporter tear gassed during Football World Cup riots in Paris


That sounds bad until you get almost to the end of the drama story and you find


Reid said she and the camera operator had walked back the 400m to the hotel from their spot on the Champs Elysees after the crowds had left but there had not been enough time for the tear gas to disappear and they walked through it.




Correct headline: TVNZ reporter to stupid to not walk through tear gas.


OTOH, that's not exactly news either.


 



Did you mean ‘too’ stupid? (‘Hoist’ and ‘petard’?).




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gzt

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  # 2060409 22-Jul-2018 14:15
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Geektastic:

Breaking News: Police Surround Los Angeles Grocery Store


Last remaining doughnuts in California believed to be holed up inside.



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  # 2060425 22-Jul-2018 14:56
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Maori Predicts Doomsday? 

 

Guess what? If you type enough gibberish, you'll probably recreate the complete works of Stuff. yell




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  # 2060426 22-Jul-2018 14:59
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  # 2060450 22-Jul-2018 15:31
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Here's one I wrote all by myself:

 

Breaking News: Sun can't be seen at night in New Zealand

 

Do you think the Herald or Stuff would employ me to write headlines?


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  # 2060492 22-Jul-2018 16:30
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RunningMan:

Here's one I wrote all by myself:


Breaking News: Sun can't be seen at night in New Zealand


Do you think the Herald or Stuff would employ me to write headlines?



That will be the lead item on 1 News tonite. 👍




Regards,

Old3eyes


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