1) Forget everything you know.
2) Click on [this link right here]
3) Copy and paste the following:
"I, Theunis Grobler need some help with my connection and would like to employ your help with getting everything sorted, from what I understand my home wiring is in a bit of a mess and I might have made things worse by messing around with it. In return for your work I'm willing to offer you an excellent coffee as well as give you $150, I will also post on my thread how this helped me out greatly and will refrain from attempting any more work on our line, thankyou"
As his name suggests however, if you're going to make an excellent coffee there are some rules to this to please CoffeeBaron:
1) Never use instant.
2) Fresh beans
3) If using espresso machine, make sure it's clean and up to standard, do no over-extract the coffee.
4) Scrap all the above, attend a Barista course and make him a Chemex using the best beans, and a pinch of Cocoa.