Mental health and COVID-19.

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Awrrr
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#2481030 11-May-2020 11:48

Handsomedan:

That's the rational response...it's not that bad. Irrationally, it's brain surgery without anesthetic.

My understanding is that brain surgery is always without anesthetic because the brain has no pain receptors and surgeons have to speak to the patients to make sure they don't cut the wrong bit.

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Geektastic

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#2481171 11-May-2020 14:04

Handle9:

Geektastic:

Thanks; Yes we do. Of course, it only goes so far. I last saw my mother in person at a wedding in March last year. I am more used to the separation because I went to boarding school at the age of seven and a half, so I was away from home for at least 36 weeks a year pretty much forever thereafter. The Memsahib is not so used to it, although she is not in her mother's pocket, as it were.

She finds it harder, especially given that her mother has had a variety of health issues in recent years, several of which have the potential to be very serious. My MiL is fortunate in that my BiL lives within 6km or so of her so he is able to do shopping etc. I (occasionally!) feel sorry for my mother, as out of 4 sons, only one remains in the same country as her!

I'm sure we are by no means the worst off in this sort of scenario and as noted above by @Technofreak hopefully various developments will happen that facilitate being able to travel. At least social distancing will mean more space on planes even in Economy!

We're in a fairly similar position. We went home in July last year and were planning to go for Christmas this year. Given the current situation we don't plan on doing that now - 4 weeks quarantine would be impossible to manage. It'll be around 2 years at best between my mother and MIL seeing our kids. When they are 6 and 8 that is a fair chunk of their lives.

It is what it is, we just have to get on with it really.

I can beat that! My brother has two kids. One is now about 21 and I met him for the first time last year...!

Fred99

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#2481173 11-May-2020 14:07

Rikkitic:

Handsomedan:

That's the rational response...it's not that bad. Irrationally, it's brain surgery without anesthetic.

My understanding is that brain surgery is always without anesthetic because the brain has no pain receptors and surgeons have to speak to the patients to make sure they don't cut the wrong bit.

Only some brain surgery, and then they'd put the patient out while they open up the skull - 'cause you'd feel that for sure - then wake them up - then put them back out again while they staple things back together. (Sorry this nightmare subject is not nice for a "mental health" thread)

Stu

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#2481487 11-May-2020 20:20

On the subject of travel to the UK; our son moved to Brighton in March last year for work, and we were due to fly over in August to meet up and spend three weeks or so in England and Scotland with him. Of course, that's no longer happening. It would be more difficult (especially for the wife) if we didn't have video chat.

We started booking this last year, and have been looking forward to it for at least as long. Whilst we've already had a couple of refunds, and it looks likely we'll receive a couple more, it still looks likely that we'll lose a fair few dollars.

It all adds to the stress. At least we'll have a couple of years to prepare for the next opportunity (provided vaccines etc happen as hoped).

Keep calm, and carry on posting.

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Handle9

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#2481489 11-May-2020 20:23

Geektastic:
Handle9:

We're in a fairly similar position. We went home in July last year and were planning to go for Christmas this year. Given the current situation we don't plan on doing that now - 4 weeks quarantine would be impossible to manage. It'll be around 2 years at best between my mother and MIL seeing our kids. When they are 6 and 8 that is a fair chunk of their lives.

It is what it is, we just have to get on with it really.

I can beat that! My brother has two kids. One is now about 21 and I met him for the first time last year...!

I think the Nana's care a bit more than you do. 😜

gzt

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#2481536 11-May-2020 22:26

freitasm:
Handsomedan:

I awoke in a cold sweat last night having nightmares about being tested for COVID-19 (i.e. swab up nose).

For context, I am acutely needle-phobic and it would appear that the old swab up the nose into the brain cavity thing is similar to my subconscious.

Might help or not, but I was tested a couple of weeks ago and is not as bad as some people think. Really.

Tested twice. It's definitely a back of the throat feeling. It doesn't feel higher than that. It helps to recline the seat and whack the brake pedal for six seconds to pass the time ; ).

kingdragonfly

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#2482424 13-May-2020 08:20

I had a weird experience yesterday. I went to a Subway, as was waiting on the sidewalk for my order.

A young white boy approached me, and asked if he could use my phone to call 111. I said yes, and asked if there was anything I could do. He said his mother was giving him a ride, they had an argument, and she left him on the roadside.

He talked to the police dispatch at length. Even though we were about 5 minutes from the town centre, it took 15 minutes for the police to arrive. He talked to the dispatch at length, except for a brief chat to me to establish our position.

He explained he was 12 years old, being abused by his mother (his words), and her live-in boyfriend. His mother once knocked him down and stood over him. While he was talking to the police, he saw his mother's van, but she turned down a side street, the wrong direction.

The police showed up. They didn't want my details, and so I left.

Since I don't have kids, and never been involved in any child abuse complaint, I wonder what'll happen next.

I suppose this story is pretty common to the police, as family tensions rise for forced isolation.

Handsomedan

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#2482535 13-May-2020 09:34

kingdragonfly: I had a weird experience yesterday. I went to a Subway, as was waiting on the sidewalk for my order.

A young white boy approached me, and asked if he could use my phone to call 111. I said yes, and asked if there was anything I could do. He said his mother was giving him a ride, they had an argument, and she left him on the roadside.

He talked to the police dispatch at length. Even though we were about 5 minutes from the town centre, it took 15 minutes for the police to arrive. He talked to the dispatch at length, except for a brief chat to me to establish our position.

He explained he was 12 years old, being abused by his mother (his words), and her live-in boyfriend. His mother once knocked him down and stood over him. While he was talking to the police, he saw his mother's van, but she turned down a side street, the wrong direction.

The police showed up. They didn't want my details, and so I left.

Since I don't have kids, and never been involved in any child abuse complaint, I wonder what'll happen next.

I suppose this story is pretty common to the police, as family tensions rise for forced isolation.

That's both sad and super strange.

Hope the wee fella is OK.

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Rikkitic

Awrrr
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#2482541 13-May-2020 09:44

12 year-olds can be impressively self-sufficient if they have to be. This strikes me as a kid who has necessarily matured early and knows how to look after himself due to an unfortunate lack of parental care.

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Fred99

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#2482593 13-May-2020 10:46

Though a sign of the times (maybe or probably), I doubt it's a particularly unusual case for the police. Probably opens up a huge can of worms. They can't make an assumption that a 12YO is telling the whole truth, on the other hand I'm sure they'll have seen plenty of cases (and worse) of neglect/abuse - if that's what turns out to have been the case.

networkn

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#2482693 13-May-2020 12:38

Fred99:

Though a sign of the times (maybe or probably), I doubt it's a particularly unusual case for the police. Probably opens up a huge can of worms. They can't make an assumption that a 12YO is telling the whole truth, on the other hand I'm sure they'll have seen plenty of cases (and worse) of neglect/abuse - if that's what turns out to have been the case.

100% agree with this. There are a lot of scenarios here that resolve to nothing like what has been claimed, it's not a good idea to assume anything.

It was handled correctly by the OP, help the kid call the police, stay with him till they arrive, offer contact details in case required, carry on with your day subsequently.

Geektastic

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#2482707 13-May-2020 13:10

Handle9:

I think the Nana's care a bit more than you do. 😜

Possibly. If my mother has seen him more than 6 times in his life, I would be surprised though.

Geektastic

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#2482709 13-May-2020 13:11

kingdragonfly: I had a weird experience yesterday. I went to a Subway, as was waiting on the sidewalk for my order.

A young white boy approached me, and asked if he could use my phone to call 111. I said yes, and asked if there was anything I could do. He said his mother was giving him a ride, they had an argument, and she left him on the roadside.

He talked to the police dispatch at length. Even though we were about 5 minutes from the town centre, it took 15 minutes for the police to arrive. He talked to the dispatch at length, except for a brief chat to me to establish our position.

He explained he was 12 years old, being abused by his mother (his words), and her live-in boyfriend. His mother once knocked him down and stood over him. While he was talking to the police, he saw his mother's van, but she turned down a side street, the wrong direction.

The police showed up. They didn't want my details, and so I left.

Since I don't have kids, and never been involved in any child abuse complaint, I wonder what'll happen next.

I suppose this story is pretty common to the police, as family tensions rise for forced isolation.

Why is his colour relevant? Am I missing something?

neb

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#2482712 13-May-2020 13:19

Geektastic:
Why is his colour relevant? Am I missing something?

Possibly to ensure that the initial responses aren't people all trying to guess whether he was of whatever ethnic group you assume is most likely to mistreat kids.

Geektastic

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#2482717 13-May-2020 13:23

neb:
Geektastic:

Why is his colour relevant? Am I missing something?

Possibly to ensure that the initial responses aren't people all trying to guess whether he was of whatever ethnic group you assume is most likely to mistreat kids.

No need to make assumptions: the figures are easily available online.

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