General Mental Health Thread

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#2837271 23-Dec-2021 11:21

MikeB4:

As a manager I believe that getting staff to achieve their potential is an important critical factor of the role. If that means that in order for them to do that they have to leave then that is fine, I have done my job. I don't take it personally it is business. Another critical factor, staff welfare and wellbeing I take very seriously and will do my upmost to help being mindful not to overstep the limits and involve myself in their personal life without a very clear request to do so.

I feel the same way you do, Mike.

I'll do my best to ensure any staff that report to me are treated as fairly as possible, given the best opportunities to prove their worth and receive recognition for that worth.

Like Mike says, if that means helping an employee to improve their career trajectory by not standing in their way if they are looking to leave (if it's the right thing for them to do).

I also don't believe in over-reach into an employee's personal life. If I am invited into that inner circle, it'll be at a respectful distance only.

Handsome Dan Has Spoken.
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GV27

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#2854456 21-Jan-2022 08:34

Lost a friend yesterday. Don't know how to process it. She was a big part of my life at one point and still a good friend and someone who I caught up with when she was back in the country and hung out with respective partners. Got a message that she had slipped away on Weds.

She is going to leave a very big, very painful hole in my life. I will miss her terribly.

Handsomedan

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#2854476 21-Jan-2022 08:48

GV27:

Lost a friend yesterday. Don't know how to process it. She was a big part of my life at one point and still a good friend and someone who I caught up with when she was back in the country and hung out with respective partners. Got a message that she had slipped away on Weds.

She is going to leave a very big, very painful hole in my life. I will miss her terribly.

It's hard to say anything meaningful that may help, but I am truly sorry for your loss.

Handsome Dan Has Spoken.
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networkn

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#2854497 21-Jan-2022 09:23

GV27:

Lost a friend yesterday. Don't know how to process it. She was a big part of my life at one point and still a good friend and someone who I caught up with when she was back in the country and hung out with respective partners. Got a message that she had slipped away on Weds.

She is going to leave a very big, very painful hole in my life. I will miss her terribly.

I'm so sorry. If there is anything I can do to help, don't hesitate to ask.

Handsomedan

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#2854500 21-Jan-2022 09:30

On a slightly brighter note than usual in this thread: I have been offered a new job (it's a step backwards slightly) and I am already feeling mentally fresher, calmer and more "together".

Knowing that the last two and a bit years is nearly behind me really is refreshing and a tonic for the soul. Just need the paperwork to come in and I'll be able to hand in my notice and see whether they make me work through my notice or put me on Garden Leave (wouldn't that be nice?).

I have to say, I agonised over whether to accept this role, as it's a monetary and seniority step backwards, but mental health is SO important. I have been (at times) on the verge of a breakdown in this job, so despite having come off a refreshing summer holiday into a traditionally quiet time at work, which can mask the ill-feelings and stress levels, I have decided that I'd like to be alive at the end of this year, instead of having a massive heart attack and working myself into an early grave, so I can have more toys before I die.

I feel GREAT today.

Handsome Dan Has Spoken.
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MikeB4

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#2854554 21-Jan-2022 12:02

I have anguished on the other extreme @Handsomedan about moving back into the fray. I have recently having recently started a business with my wife and buying into anotherI have taken the risk (considerable) top step back in at a high level. I am still waking up in a sweat at night thinking about it. I hope I have made the right decision and I am not taken a step too far.

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#2854568 21-Jan-2022 12:37

MikeB4:

I have anguished on the other extreme @Handsomedan about moving back into the fray. I have recently having recently started a business with my wife and buying into anotherI have taken the risk (considerable) top step back in at a high level. I am still waking up in a sweat at night thinking about it. I hope I have made the right decision and I am not taken a step too far.

Just as long as it doesn't affect your health, then I am happy for you!

Handsome Dan Has Spoken.
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Hatch

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MikeB4

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#2854579 21-Jan-2022 13:24

Handsomedan:

MikeB4:

I have anguished on the other extreme @Handsomedan about moving back into the fray. I have recently having recently started a business with my wife and buying into anotherI have taken the risk (considerable) top step back in at a high level. I am still waking up in a sweat at night thinking about it. I hope I have made the right decision and I am not taken a step too far.

Just as long as it doesn't affect your health, then I am happy for you!

My specialist did say "are you nuts" I did tell them they can't say that. They did say to watch my vitals, BP Heart rate etc. It's a risk but I am sick of just existing and I want to contribute again and I feel that it will be good for my mental health as long as I balance things.

For the most part I will be working from home and going into the office 2 or 3 times per week to meet with staff etc. If I start over doing it I will have my wife to answer to and she is a Director and a tough awesome woman.

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#2854635 21-Jan-2022 13:53

When deciding on most things I always ask myself, 'does this spark joy?' the answer comes back fast and clear. I’ve made wise decisions based on just that phrase because if a job or purchase doesn’t spark joy then it’s likely going to have a negative impact on mental wellbeing.

networkn

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#2885514 13-Mar-2022 10:24

So my mental health took a massive dump last night when we got a text from my daughters best friend saying she had symptoms, which wouldn't be a problem except that today is my Daughters 10th birthday and this will be her third consecutive birthday ruined by covid. Today her friend confirmed as testing positive (Thankfully, with mild symptoms).

Made worse by the fact that we said she could only have 1 person at her 'party' this year due to the outbreak and associated risks and our daughter wearing a mask pretty much 24/7 for the past week worried someone in our family would get it and cause the party to be cancelled. She has been so excited for it for over a month and we have been gently trying to temper her expectations.

She took it like a total champ but also you can see when a kid is miserable despite their outside appearances.

I know many people have missed out on things, but it feels like every significant event our kids have been excited about have been ruined in the past few years. I am so sick of being the bearer of bad news, to sit down with the kids and say x, y, z has been cancelled and watching them adjust to that information.

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#2885570 13-Mar-2022 14:28

That’s so hard. When kids are involved it’s very painful to break a promise t them. I think we hurt more than they do.

So now’s the time to pile on some guilt treats. Promise all the things she’s not allowed, more screen time for a week. An additional person to her party in two weeks time and two food treat wishes for today. Cheer up. There are worse things happening in life to be grateful they are not on your doorstep.

I’ve just been given the news by my good friend that she is terminal and being taken off all medication and a hospice appointment made. You feel so helpless and disbelieving. God but it makes you so thankful for every moment of your life and the perspective it puts on it.

Handle9

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#2885746 14-Mar-2022 01:52

networkn:
So my mental health took a massive dump last night when we got a text from my daughters best friend saying she had symptoms, which wouldn't be a problem except that today is my Daughters 10th birthday and this will be her third consecutive birthday ruined by covid. Today her friend confirmed as testing positive (Thankfully, with mild symptoms).

Made worse by the fact that we said she could only have 1 person at her 'party' this year due to the outbreak and associated risks and our daughter wearing a mask pretty much 24/7 for the past week worried someone in our family would get it and cause the party to be cancelled. She has been so excited for it for over a month and we have been gently trying to temper her expectations.

She took it like a total champ but also you can see when a kid is miserable despite their outside appearances.

I know many people have missed out on things, but it feels like every significant event our kids have been excited about have been ruined in the past few years. I am so sick of being the bearer of bad news, to sit down with the kids and say x, y, z has been cancelled and watching them adjust to that information.

It’s been a difficult couple of years for certainty of anything. Kids generally take each individual event ok but the cumulative effect is what has worn us down. There’s really not much you can do other than try and make other things special on the day. It doesn’t make up for anything but at least you can show them how much you care for them.

networkn

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#2891660 24-Mar-2022 20:34

I feel like I have been kicked in the face. Clients of mine for a very long time, now getting older but still a vibrant intelligent funny caring pair I have looked after in the various stages of their careers, for more than 25 years...

The husband called me to tell me the wife was taken to Christchurch Hospital by air Ambulance after a massive stroke. Very unlikely to survive and if she does, quality of life will be non-existent. I was talking to her 3 weeks ago laughing and sharing stories of our families.

Lately, it feels like life is a shit sandwich and it's always lunchtime.

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#2891819 25-Mar-2022 08:59

I read a copy of my grandfather's step brother’s memoirs this week. It’s a typed document he produced for the family rather than a published book.

It really helped put things in perspective. Amongst other hardships he lived through (including growing up in sufficient poverty that they cut matches in half to save money!) he was called up into the Royal Signals at the start of WW2. He used to work for the Post Office in the telephone engineering bit so had the skills.

He ended up in Singapore and was captured as a PoW by the Japanese. He then spent over 3 years building the Burma Railway, surviving starvation, malaria, dysentery and so on as well as the brutal Japanese regime.

Eventually freed in Japan by the American arrival, he was slowly transferred back to Britain via the USA.

He never really settled back there and 5 years later took ship with his new wife (after a final night at The Savoy in London!) to New Zealand. He worked for the Post Office in Wellington on the phones again. His sister had moved to Rotorua as well.

He lived in Plimmerton for many years before heading north of Auckland. I met him for tea when I first visited NZ in 1990. His son lives just down the road from my brother in Toronto, and we lived in Plimmerton when we first moved here (without knowing any of this!).

Reading his experiences really helped put things into perspective. Life is certainly harder now than we have been used to in recent times, but boy could it be a lot worse!!

GV27

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#2891830 25-Mar-2022 09:16

Doing household bugets in anticipation of part of our mortgage coming off fixed and wee man going into daycare. Gone are any winter holiday, Sky, probably Spark Sport (I'll get F1 Pro instead, it's cheaper) and a bunch of other stuff that would have made winter a little more bearable.

I've had quite a bad run with winters in the last five or so years and SSAD (getting to work before the sun comes up and getting home after it goes down will do that) but doing daycare pick-ups will probably end up being good for me in that regard. And if I can swap my current toy for an EV then we can actually do more day trips instead of being stuck at home fretting about using petrol. So I don't know if it will be better, but at least it will be different. That's something.

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