General Mental Health Thread

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#2758443 11-Aug-2021 09:50

networkn:

Now, sometimes, when I see someone else, hiding in a corner, staring at their phone, looking anxious, I'll make a point of going over and introducing myself, and herding them to a group, introducing them.

That's a very nice plan you have. It certainly helps bring people in who are unsure how to start interacting.

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alavaliant

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#2758446 11-Aug-2021 09:53

One other general point that I've been thinking about. - If you had a really good friend in the past that you lost contact with. You shouldn't be afraid to try re-establishing contact. Worst scenario is really that they wouldn't be interested. But if they want to reconnect it can really help you out. I had a really good friend that I lost contact with many years ago. Reconnected with them a few months back and it's really made a difference having their friendship again. I wish now I'd tried many years ago.

alasta

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#2758511 11-Aug-2021 11:26

I am quite fortunate in that my professional experience has given me confidence in meeting people in group situations so I don't really have a problem in that regard. It's just a matter of finding opportunities to meet people.

I have recently joined a French conversation group and I am really enjoying it. Unfortunately it's very expensive and I can really only keep it going for ten weeks, so the challenge is ensuring that I get some longer term benefit out of it.

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#2758739 11-Aug-2021 19:20

Mental Health Issues Very much highlighted over the last few weeks over the olympics and sport high performance. Simone Biles the US Gymnast and locally Olivia Podmore Cyclist Suicide.,

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Handsomedan

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#2758918 12-Aug-2021 09:34

I have to say...you know things aren't quite right when you just sit and look at your computer before you turn it on and feel like a child on their first day of school...not excited, but just full of dread for what's ahead.

Time for a new job, I think.

It's terrible too, that I was talking about how I was feeling with a colleague and she mentioned that she's also now on medication for a variety of stress-related illnesses due to work. This place really is toxic.

I had a couple of days off this week to take my kids (teenaged boys) away mountain biking, because they had a teachers' only day and I needed to destress. It's amazing how much better I felt while just bombing down trails and generally horsing around with the kids, being three lads on a trip away to do nothing but have fun.

I get back and it's like I never went away or had a break. I don't sleep well, no matter how tired i am and I am constantly snapping at the wife and kids.

They say stress is a silent killer...I'm not so sure it's that silent.

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SheriffNZ

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#2758925 12-Aug-2021 09:48

Handsomedan:

I have to say...you know things aren't quite right when you just sit and look at your computer before you turn it on and feel like a child on their first day of school...not excited, but just full of dread for what's ahead.

Time for a new job, I think.

It's terrible too, that I was talking about how I was feeling with a colleague and she mentioned that she's also now on medication for a variety of stress-related illnesses due to work. This place really is toxic.

I had a couple of days off this week to take my kids (teenaged boys) away mountain biking, because they had a teachers' only day and I needed to destress. It's amazing how much better I felt while just bombing down trails and generally horsing around with the kids, being three lads on a trip away to do nothing but have fun.

I get back and it's like I never went away or had a break. I don't sleep well, no matter how tired i am and I am constantly snapping at the wife and kids.

They say stress is a silent killer...I'm not so sure it's that silent.

Your comment really hit home to me. I feel that way turning on the computer in the morning too. It's only related to one single person in my organisation and she is known for what she does, but no one seems to do anything about it (as an organisation, we're really good at talking the talk, but not walking the walk). I've had a number of chats with someone at my level in relation to her and made comments to others too. My colleague has told my managers that they don't want to work with her again. I'm getting to that point too. It's affecting my sleep too. Generally everyone is really good where I work, it's just this one person. I have been here for almost 10 years, and enjoyed my time, other than the last 6 months when I've had to work with this person. Unfortunately my skill set is quite specialised so there aren't many opportunities to move to other organisations. Also, the flexibility I get here is very good and would be hard to leave behind.

Since lockdown, I now pick my kids up from school and finish my working day at home, rather than the kids going to afterschool care. I also ferry the kids to their various afterschool activities which, to be fair, has more flexed in favour of that than work. At the end of the year, my wife and I are going to talk about me dropping my hours to 80% to enable me to not have to work after getting the kids. I'm really looking forward to that. Lucky I'm in a position where my wife is the major breadwinner and the 20% difference is not that significant to us.

I had a couple of days off work earlier this week too. My son was sick one day (not too bad, just not well enough to go to school), so we largely just hung out and my daughter had a day off the next day so we largely just hung out together as well. Those days were really enjoyable.

alavaliant

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#2758934 12-Aug-2021 10:19

Handsomedan:
I had a couple of days off this week to take my kids (teenaged boys) away mountain biking, because they had a teachers' only day and I needed to destress. It's amazing how much better I felt while just bombing down trails and generally horsing around with the kids, being three lads on a trip away to do nothing but have fun.

I can quite appreciate that. I'm personally planning to do a two week holiday next year with the friend I previously mentioned reconnecting with. Given we both have various stresses, I'm hoping for those weeks we can get away from it all and basically be like teens again for a bit (which was when we first became friends), just have fun and not have to be serious for a bit.

networkn

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#2758940 12-Aug-2021 10:24

Handsomedan:

I have to say...you know things aren't quite right when you just sit and look at your computer before you turn it on and feel like a child on their first day of school...not excited, but just full of dread for what's ahead.

Time for a new job, I think.

It's terrible too, that I was talking about how I was feeling with a colleague and she mentioned that she's also now on medication for a variety of stress-related illnesses due to work. This place really is toxic.

I had a couple of days off this week to take my kids (teenaged boys) away mountain biking, because they had a teachers' only day and I needed to destress. It's amazing how much better I felt while just bombing down trails and generally horsing around with the kids, being three lads on a trip away to do nothing but have fun.

I get back and it's like I never went away or had a break. I don't sleep well, no matter how tired i am and I am constantly snapping at the wife and kids.

They say stress is a silent killer...I'm not so sure it's that silent.

I think for me, the regularity of holidays, or breaks away, and length matter. I haven't had a decent holiday since Jan 2020, though we have had a few shorter breaks. I also found that holidaying inside NZ isn't as relaxing as being overseas, as I am just an hour or so from the office most places in NZ.

My wife and I have been discussing how we do better for our family in this regard.

Handsomedan

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#2758948 12-Aug-2021 10:36

networkn:

I think for me, the regularity of holidays, or breaks away, and length matter. I haven't had a decent holiday since Jan 2020, though we have had a few shorter breaks. I also found that holidaying inside NZ isn't as relaxing as being overseas, as I am just an hour or so from the office most places in NZ.

My wife and I have been discussing how we do better for our family in this regard.

This is something actually - we don't go away often (actually very rarely), but having the choice taken away by not being able to go do a holiday somewhere is actually quite irritating. And domestic holidays are so expensive these days that it seems like a waste of cash to do a roadtrip or a holiday domestically.

I'll likely feel better when summer comes. I don't do winter that well.

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networkn

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#2758956 12-Aug-2021 10:50

Handsomedan:

networkn:

I think for me, the regularity of holidays, or breaks away, and length matter. I haven't had a decent holiday since Jan 2020, though we have had a few shorter breaks. I also found that holidaying inside NZ isn't as relaxing as being overseas, as I am just an hour or so from the office most places in NZ.

My wife and I have been discussing how we do better for our family in this regard.

This is something actually - we don't go away often (actually very rarely), but having the choice taken away by not being able to go do a holiday somewhere is actually quite irritating. And domestic holidays are so expensive these days that it seems like a waste of cash to do a roadtrip or a holiday domestically.

I'll likely feel better when summer comes. I don't do winter that well.

We are very similar I think, in many ways. I live for daylight saving :)

Another thing to consider, is that whilst your work maybe your primary source of stress, there are other factors to consider, like the mental load of being a parent, spouse, community leader in an organization you might be involved in, team mate, etc.

One of the things my wife and I started doing a few years ago once our kids became a little more independent, and easily managed by one parent, was 1 week a year away from being a spouse and parent. For example, I had a boys long weekend planned for a trip to Christchurch, and I stayed on another few days afterwards. It gives my wife and I some important space apart, and takes away the constant pressure of being a parent directly involved in day to day operations. Initially, I was resistant because I love my wife and kids, but actually, for me, it made me a better parent and spouse. The guilt went away pretty quickly, and the benefits were both immediately and not immediately visible. I also try and take a few days a year away with each of my 2 kids alone. For my son who plays squash we do an out of town tournament over 3-4 days, and with my daughter, something else we might be both interested in.

I am someone who is best when I have something to work towards, or when I have the next big something, in the pipeline. Covid has reduced that considerably, but I am starting to build back to having those things, even if they are smaller milestones.

Handle9

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#2759055 12-Aug-2021 14:17

Handsomedan:
I have to say...you know things aren't quite right when you just sit and look at your computer before you turn it on and feel like a child on their first day of school...not excited, but just full of dread for what's ahead.

Time for a new job, I think.

It's terrible too, that I was talking about how I was feeling with a colleague and she mentioned that she's also now on medication for a variety of stress-related illnesses due to work. This place really is toxic.

I had a couple of days off this week to take my kids (teenaged boys) away mountain biking, because they had a teachers' only day and I needed to destress. It's amazing how much better I felt while just bombing down trails and generally horsing around with the kids, being three lads on a trip away to do nothing but have fun.

I get back and it's like I never went away or had a break. I don't sleep well, no matter how tired i am and I am constantly snapping at the wife and kids.

They say stress is a silent killer...I'm not so sure it's that silent.

It's time to move on. Sometimes it's no one's fault but a change can make a huge difference. Ultimately work is where you exchange your time for resources to live your life. You aren't a martyr and shouldn't stay somewhere where you are miserable.

In the current climate it's probably beneficial financially as well.

Handle9

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#2759056 12-Aug-2021 14:19

networkn:
Handsomedan:

I have to say...you know things aren't quite right when you just sit and look at your computer before you turn it on and feel like a child on their first day of school...not excited, but just full of dread for what's ahead.

Time for a new job, I think.

It's terrible too, that I was talking about how I was feeling with a colleague and she mentioned that she's also now on medication for a variety of stress-related illnesses due to work. This place really is toxic.

I had a couple of days off this week to take my kids (teenaged boys) away mountain biking, because they had a teachers' only day and I needed to destress. It's amazing how much better I felt while just bombing down trails and generally horsing around with the kids, being three lads on a trip away to do nothing but have fun.

I get back and it's like I never went away or had a break. I don't sleep well, no matter how tired i am and I am constantly snapping at the wife and kids.

They say stress is a silent killer...I'm not so sure it's that silent.

I think for me, the regularity of holidays, or breaks away, and length matter. I haven't had a decent holiday since Jan 2020, though we have had a few shorter breaks. I also found that holidaying inside NZ isn't as relaxing as being overseas, as I am just an hour or so from the office most places in NZ.

My wife and I have been discussing how we do better for our family in this regard.

In July we had our first real holiday since 2019. It has done a lot for my families mental health.

Handle9

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#2759058 12-Aug-2021 14:24

The announcements today have given me some hope of being able to see family in the next 12 months. It's been 2 years since we saw our families and hopefully we can get together early in the New Year.

It might have to be in an intermediate country but it's hope for the future.

MikeB4

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#2763667 20-Aug-2021 12:32

With unconfirmed cases in Poneke and reckless press speculation my demon anxiety has taken a horrible turn. The press should shut up until the Ministry of Health either confirms or denies.

networkn

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#2763671 20-Aug-2021 12:37

MikeB4:

With unconfirmed cases in Poneke and reckless press speculation my demon anxiety has taken a horrible turn. The press should shut up until the Ministry of Health either confirms or denies.

I recommend not reading or listening to the press. The official updates are at 1pm most days. 3pm today.

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