General Mental Health Thread

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#2777923 14-Sep-2021 00:21

Feel really sorry for Auckland folk, it’s crushing and hard but it will end. Hang in there.

We got so sick and bored of walking around our own neighbourhood ad nauseum that decided to take the car five minutes away from the house park in another quiet street and walk there. No one around and nice just looking at other people’s gardens and plants. Felt much better afterwards.

Pulling weeds in the garden to prepare for planting summer veges also a good pastime.
After the first lockdown I got smarter and bought various packs of seeds, both flowers and veggies, like silverbeet with a 2023 use by date, plus a bag of potting mix to have on hand for future lockdown. It meant being able to raise a few seedlings and keep occupied. Especially good for kids to help and be in charge of planting and watering even if there is no garden, they can use milk cartons or cans In the laundry or bathroom.

@handsomedan Don't beat yourself up. It was a test run so next time do it differently, get wife to drive, you, sit in the back seat so the scenario is not the same and get her to walk you in. Maybe going to your own doctor who you trust for the vax is easier. Try singing the words of a song you really like to yourself over and over. It stops the thinking which is what’s making you back down. I’ve used this method successfully when having needles stuck into me and being in an enclosed scanning machine for forty long minutes. It worked keeping eyes closed and singing songs to myself non stop. It succeeds so I now use this method for any medical procedure that scares me. Your brain can’t visualise what’s actually happening when you are concentrating on lyrics. Anything from Christmas Carols to the national anthem as long as there are words to help you visualise. Start the singing in the car and keep singing to yourself until it’s done. It’s about 4 seconds of your life. I so hope it works out for you.

Edited typo

Handle9

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#2777924 14-Sep-2021 00:29

Ge0rge:

Handle9:

For me Facebook is one of the ways to stay in touch with friends and family. it's a significant loss for me given it's been 3 years since I've been able to visit New Zealand.

A phone update logged me out of the browser version of FB across all my devices. The only way, according to FB, was for me to download the FB app. Made the choice not to.

That was close to a year ago now. Occasionally I feel as if I might be missing out when I see things like "Just search wanaka couple and you'll see their names in the comments" and then I stop and think 'What difference would it make to me, knowing their names?" or seeing any other such rot that is on there - then I crack on and do something constructive not on FB.

I still have the messenger app on one device, which I use to keep in touch with some friends - so while I'm not completely free of "social media", I'm no longer wasting my time/life on an endless scroll of drivel.

Couldn't be happier that I did it.

I'm not missing the endless conflict on there.

On the other hand we are effectively locked out of our home where we have spent the vast majority of our lives. It is very difficult not knowing when/if you will get to see friends and family again and being able to see what they are up to virtually is helpful.

There's not an easy answer.

networkn

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#2779144 16-Sep-2021 09:40

I am really feeling it right now on behalf of my daughter. All year long she has been looking forward to school camp. We have tried to gently let her know that it quite possibly wouldn't get to go ahead, but she put a *lot* of effort into her fundraising and was still hopeful.

Today I had to tell her its been cancelled this year, and held her whilst she cried her heart out. She understands sort of, but still feels bitterly disappointed.

On top of that, hearing that even with 80% vaccination rates we could potentially looking at thousands of Covid deaths in NZ, I just feel a little broken.

GV27

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#2779148 16-Sep-2021 09:50

networkn:

I am really feeling it right now on behalf of my daughter. All year long she has been looking forward to school camp. We have tried to gently let her know that it quite possibly wouldn't get to go ahead, but she put a *lot* of effort into her fundraising and was still hopeful.

Today I had to tell her its been cancelled this year, and held her whilst she cried her heart out. She understands sort of, but still feels bitterly disappointed.

That's heartbreaking, is there something you can do for her to recognise all the work she put in? Maybe a weekend away once we hit L1 at a location of her choice?

networkn

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#2779153 16-Sep-2021 10:07

GV27:

That's heartbreaking, is there something you can do for her to recognise all the work she put in? Maybe a weekend away once we hit L1 at a location of her choice?

At the risk of sounding overdramatic, it was the closest I've come to crying in my adult life. I still feel quite emotional. Having kids really puts your heart on your sleeve.

Yeah, we talked about some other opportunities, when the weather warms up we will pitch a tent in the backyard and have a camping experience there, and we talked about what opportunities she might enjoy once we are back at better alert levels.

She is really quite a lovely kid (if I say so herself). She did all her own fundraising and then set about even harder to earn money to cover a couple of kids who didn't have enough money to cover the fees for it.

alasta

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#2779242 16-Sep-2021 10:45

I never got the opportunity to have kids so I can't offer any advice but, for what it's worth, I think you are doing a great job of helping your kids to navigate through this difficult time. It will be a huge long term benefit in terms of their resilience and outlook on life.

networkn

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#2779270 16-Sep-2021 11:49

alasta:

I never got the opportunity to have kids so I can't offer any advice but, for what it's worth, I think you are doing a great job of helping your kids to navigate through this difficult time. It will be a huge long term benefit in terms of their resilience and outlook on life.

Thanks, that means a lot. I guess stuff is just piling up right now, it feels quite a lot, but I have to just keep reminding myself I can only do what I can do, and one step at a time.

This too will pass. It's all a bit cliche but it's all still true.

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Handsomedan

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#2779338 16-Sep-2021 13:53

networkn:

Thanks, that means a lot. I guess stuff is just piling up right now, it feels quite a lot, but I have to just keep reminding myself I can only do what I can do, and one step at a time.

This too will pass. It's all a bit cliche but it's all still true.

I can completely relate to this situation - having two teenagers isn't really much easier.

My eldest is a keen footballer and has had a lot of crap to put up with over the last couple of years (as I may have mentioned on a couple of threads previously), but he was finally having a great season when lockdown killed off the National Schoolboys tournaments, the end of the club season, the end of the school 1st XI season, and now the two mountain biking races that he'd signed up for have been pushed out to next year, which will clash with the football pre-season!!!

My youngest is missing out on a few things through school, like he did last year, but we are hoping his Junior High graduation will still go ahead later in the year.

It doesn't help that we are all going stir crazy as well.

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gzt

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#2793248 11-Oct-2021 13:56

I've realised that wandering around the hardware store and timber yard during the weekend was an important part of my relaxation routine. It's taken me a while to put my finger on what I was missing.

Handsomedan

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#2793254 11-Oct-2021 14:05

gzt: I've realised that wandering around the hardware store and timber yard during the weekend was an important part of my relaxation routine. It's taken me a while to put my finger on what I was missing.

Likewise, I realised that driving "somewhere" was also a part of my weekend routine - not anywhere specific - just elsewhere, not here. So we headed to Orewa. Because we could. But it was busy, so we went to Waiwera. It was less busy. But it was a nice change from our neighbourhood.

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networkn

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#2793305 11-Oct-2021 16:12

I know these decisions around alert levels are sensible and make sense, and I support them, however, today the announcements affecting Auckland have really smashed my state of mind. To hear schools won't be back next week and knowing the impact that has on my kids too and on us as parents, is really tough as well. We have great kids who are trying hard to learn from home, but there is a gulf between home learning and not.

Stu

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#2793309 11-Oct-2021 16:25

gzt: I've realised that wandering around the hardware store and timber yard during the weekend was an important part of my relaxation routine. It's taken me a while to put my finger on what I was missing.

We placed a click and collect order with Bunnings over the weekend. Easy process for collection, and the young chap did a good job at carefully loading items in through the hatch. We got our timing right, and the queue on arrival wasn't very long. Most people seemed to be only picking up one or two small items and staff were getting through them quickly. We had to move off to the side for our order to be loaded as there were a few things to collect. There was a decent queue there when we left.

As we were driving off, the wife commented "wow, that was the fastest trip to Bunnings ever!"

She wasn't wrong 🙄

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Keep calm, and carry on posting.

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Handle9

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#2793316 11-Oct-2021 16:34

networkn:
I know these decisions around alert levels are sensible and make sense, and I support them, however, today the announcements affecting Auckland have really smashed my state of mind. To hear schools won't be back next week and knowing the impact that has on my kids too and on us as parents, is really tough as well. We have great kids who are trying hard to learn from home, but there is a gulf between home learning and not.

Restrictions on schooling are the hardest for families to deal with IME. I’ve got a friend moving his family here from another gulf country because of the ongoing schooling restrictions where they are.

halper86

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#2793324 11-Oct-2021 16:44

I have only just stumbled across this thread and wish I saw this sooner. I praise you all for your compassionate replies and understanding of each others unique challenges.

The biggest challenges I have faced while having poor mental health, is opening up to someone and being able to trust them. I have struggled a fair bit with this and it has been a barrier to letting the weight off my shoulders. Following the initial diagnosis of depression and anxiety, it was hard for me as I felt stigmatised, like I wasn't normal and needed to 'take a concrete pill'.

I got very good at dismissing the bad thoughts from my mind in a bid to keep happy and so my mates wouldn't call me a 'pussy' however this took a toll on me. I barely talked about my challenges to anybody and the weight on my shoulders began to build to breaking point. Reaching breaking point was far from what I wanted but it happened anyway. Once I reached this point I was lucky enough to be able to get support straight away. Now I wished that I reached out to someone sooner and I would have had less stress and a physical toll on myself.

I wouldn't wish on my worst enemies the dark place I was in. I hope anyone reading this can be asked at anytime for a chat or some advice from a mate or colleague - you could be their light at the end of the tunnel.

Handsomedan

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#2793334 11-Oct-2021 17:00

networkn:

I know these decisions around alert levels are sensible and make sense, and I support them, however, today the announcements affecting Auckland have really smashed my state of mind. To hear schools won't be back next week and knowing the impact that has on my kids too and on us as parents, is really tough as well. We have great kids who are trying hard to learn from home, but there is a gulf between home learning and not.

Yeah, it's also what they don't say that makes your mind race...

My wife works at a Kindergarten and they were warned that mandatory vaccinations could be coming...but to hear that this won't come into effect until January makes us wonder if the Govt actually believes that the vast majority of school pupils and early childhood attendees won't be back this side of the Xmas break.

Handsome Dan Has Spoken.
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