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  #2479646 9-May-2020 10:11
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The Washington Post - The 5-Minute Fix - Is this Trump’s worst week ever?

 

today

 


Okay, I know that President Trump’s worst week ever has been designated a couple of times already. ...

 

But this week could actually be his worst ever.

 

With new unemployment data out Friday, it ends on something he can’t spin - actual numbers about just how bad this pandemic and its economic fallout are.

 

They are terrible numbers for any president to see on his watch:

 

  •     A 14.7 percent unemployment rate, the highest since the Great Depression almost a century ago

  •     33 million people filing for unemployment since this crisis hit the United States

  •     As of this week, more than 75,000 Americans have died from coronavirus with no nationwide dip in cases. (Trump predicted weeks ago that the number would stop at 50,000, then Sunday suggested it might stop at 75,000 or 100,000.)

Now the big question for Trump: Will Americans blame him for any of this? ...

 

 





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  #2479673 9-May-2020 11:45
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WIDESPREAD REPUBLICAN CONGRATULATIONS AS BILL BARR TESTS NEGATIVE FOR INTEGRITY

 

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—After a test result that he called “a tremendous relief,” the Attorney General, Bill Barr, has tested negative for integrity.

 

Barr submitted to the test after learning that he had come into contact with several career Justice Department prosecutors who were found to be integrity carriers.

 

“When I learned that there were still people at the Justice Department with integrity, I was furious,” Barr told reporters. “I told them to go home at once.”

 

Barr said he will immediately put into place new protocols that would require Justice Department employees to be tested for integrity before entering the building.

 

“It’s better to be safe than sorry," he said. "I thought that everyone with integrity had already left the Justice Department, but I was mistaken.” 

 

Although he was elated to learn that he had tested negative for integrity, Barr said he was shocked to think how close he came to contracting the dreaded virtue.

 

“Having integrity would have made it impossible for me to work with anyone in the White House, let alone President Trump and Vice Pence,” he said.





'Ask not what you can do for your country: ask what you can do for me'. Donald J.Trump. US President 2016 - 2020.

 

 

 

 


 
 
 
 


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  #2479730 9-May-2020 12:59
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geekIT:

 

WIDESPREAD REPUBLICAN CONGRATULATIONS AS BILL BARR TESTS NEGATIVE FOR INTEGRITY

 

 

Borowitz is nearly always brilliant but this one is exceptional even by his standards!

 

 

 

 





I don't think there is ever a bad time to talk about how absurd war is, how old men make decisions and young people die. - George Clooney
 


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  #2479745 9-May-2020 13:26
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'Ask not what you can do for your country: ask what you can do for me'. Donald J.Trump. US President 2016 - 2020.

 

 

 

 


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  #2479787 9-May-2020 14:51
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The President of the USA on Fox and Friends...

 

 

1. "Really most people knew from the beginning, and they knew it was just a total hoax. It was a made-up story, a disgrace to our nation."

 

The intelligence community, special counsel Robert Mueller and the Republican-led Senate Intelligence Committee all concluded that Russia sought to interfere in the 2016 election to help Trump and hurt Hillary Clinton. Or, yeah, a "hoax" and a "made-up story." And away we go!

 

2. "These are dirty politicians and dirty cops and some horrible people."

 

The President of the United States, ladies and gentlemen!

 

3. "Was a perfect call."
Yes, we are still on this.

 

5. "They tried to take down the president of the United States, a sitting, duly elected president of the United States before I even won."

 

In which Trump alleges that "they" -- not clear who he means -- was involved in a coup attempt to keep him from serving as president. His proof of this grand conspiracy? That former President Barack Obama allegedly knew about a call between Michael Flynn and Russian official Sergey Kislyak.

 

7. "You look at Mueller, that was purely corrupt. And can you imagine with all the corruption having to do with Mueller."

 

Robert Mueller spent more than a decade as the FBI director -- under both Democratic and Republican presidents. Trump thinks Mueller was out to get him because Mueller once asked if he could have his dues back when he and his family left as members of Trump's golf course in Virginia. Yes, seriously.

 

8. "No collusion."

 

Feels like I may have heard this before.

 

14. "Sean -- you look at Sean Hannity, what he's done. I mean, he should get the equivalent of the Pulitzer Prizes."

 

Ah yes, the "Pulitzer Prizes." I love those prizes.

 

20. "I did nothing wrong, and there are no tapes, but I wish there were tapes in my case. But learn a lot from Richard Nixon and you don't do that."

 

OK, so Trump is saying he did nothing wrong when it comes to Ukraine and Russia. But that he learned from Nixon not to make tapes of his conversations. But, he did nothing wrong. The logic here is truly mind-blowing.

 

23. "We are draining the swamp like nobody's ever drained the swamp."

 

The best swamp-draining. Believe me.

 

25. "It's a much smarter enemy than the enemy, than the enemy that I had that we just discussed. Much, much smarter than those characters. That's a bunch of -- you know, those are people that are not in the same league. This is a very brilliant enemy and it happens to be invisible."

 

In sum: Coronavirus > "deep state." Also, much more invisible.

 

26. "And our tests are the best tests. They're calling up. We have tests that are the absolute best tests."

 

The best tests. Many people are saying it.

 

31. "We created the greatest economy in the history of the world, best we've ever had, best employment numbers, best stock markets, best number of jobs."

 

Simply not accurate.

 

32. "We'll be at 100,000, 110,000, higher -- the lower level of what was projected if we did the shutdown, but still you're talking about -- I say two Yankee stadiums of people."

 

"Now we're going toward 50 -- I'm hearing, or 60,000 people. One is too many. I always say it. One is too many, but we're going toward 50 or 60,000 people. That's at the lower -- as you know the lower (end of the projections) was supposed to be 100,000 people." -- Donald Trump, April 21

 

36. "She lost the House before because of her stupidity. She's highly overrated, a bad woman. She doesn't even want to go to work. She's in California sitting in her expensive house. "

 

The President of the United States on the Speaker of the House. That is all.

 

38. "Well, we'll be together. I'm going to Camp David, meeting, a big meeting with the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and Camp David is this very special place that nobody ever gets to see, but it's a great work environment, and we're going to have meetings on different things, and our military has never looked better."

 

The question? "Mr. President, this Sunday is Mother's Day. What are your plans? What are you going to do for Melania?" So, his will be doing meetings to honor the first lady. Moms always do love a good meeting to celebrate Mother's Day. 

 

40. 'Well you people are so professional you pretty much cleaned it. I think nobody wants to interview me now for the next two weeks or five weeks or whatever. That would be OK with me, by the way."

 

Yeah, this feels like a good place to end.

 





 

 

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  #2479804 9-May-2020 15:53
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Jesus wept. So did I.





'Ask not what you can do for your country: ask what you can do for me'. Donald J.Trump. US President 2016 - 2020.

 

 

 

 


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  #2479805 9-May-2020 15:55
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NEW CLAIM THAT U.S. ENEMIES DEVELOPED TRUMP IN LABORATORY

 

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Borowitz Report) A leading conspiracy theorist claimed on Monday that enemies of the United States developed Donald J. Trump in a top-secret biotech lab with the goal of wreaking havoc on the nation.

 

The theorist, Harland Dorrinson, said he has “conclusive evidence” that Trump was created by enemy scientists as the “ultimate weapon” to bring the United States to its knees.

 

“Having combed through binders of secret documents, I can say with a hundred per cent confidence that the person we have been calling Donald Trump was grown in a recombinant-DNA lab,” Dorrinson said.

 

While the Trump organism appeared to be little more than a curiosity for the first seven decades of his existence, “seemingly designed for our amusement,” in recent days he has become “fully weaponized,” Dorrinson asserted.

 

“In the past two weeks, he has urged Americans to abandon their bubbles, defy public-health orders, insert ultraviolet light inside their bodies and ingest bleach,” he said. “In a secret lab somewhere, his creators are popping champagne. Or quaffing vodka.”





'Ask not what you can do for your country: ask what you can do for me'. Donald J.Trump. US President 2016 - 2020.

 

 

 

 


 
 
 
 


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  #2479989 9-May-2020 23:28
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  #2480087 10-May-2020 08:53
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Sorry folks, someone just let me know my previous reply wasn't showing - I've added the wrong Twitter URL.

 

Updated the post now. List to the end...

 

"She was testing good. Then one day wasn't. I don't know why. That's why tests are bad."





 

 

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  #2480108 10-May-2020 09:45
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Cultist: "your favorite president, me"

 





 

 

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  #2480109 10-May-2020 09:48
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This guy is a master comedian.





 

 

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  #2480117 10-May-2020 10:04
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freitasm:

 

Cultist: "your favorite president, me"

 

 

 

The awful thing is, a lot of people still think he is their favourite president. With that kind of blind stupidity, what hope is there?

 

 





I don't think there is ever a bad time to talk about how absurd war is, how old men make decisions and young people die. - George Clooney
 


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  #2480354 10-May-2020 11:02
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Trump: "She tested very good for a long period of time and then all of the sudden today she tested positive... This is why the whole concept of tests aren’t necessarily great"


Funny, he said the same thing when Donald Trump Jr was born.


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  #2480424 10-May-2020 13:11
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  #2480427 10-May-2020 13:18
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Now even the zoo keepers have and still are becoming infected. I wonder what the monkeys and the head silverback (sic - orangeback) think about that.

 

Eleven Secret Service agents test positive for COVID-19: report





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