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  # 2008015 4-May-2018 18:30
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Yup - these days Giuliani is just as capable of doing a Grandpa Simpson impersonation as the Dotard himself.


All that's needed to add to the impression of a complete insane asylum would be Alex Jones, Kanye West, and that Dr (ex) friend of Trump - who looks like Leon Russell with a stethoscope.
You could possibly include the mooch - but perhaps when he's off the nose candy, who knows - he could appear half normal. Sarah H Sanders could play Nurse Ratched, Bannon would be playing 3d chess with himself on the edge of the set, an old porn star would keep escaping from the women's ward and flashing in front of the camera, and a walking skeleton called Dr Rupert could be putting strong hallucinogens in the public water supply,  and they'd all rush around enthusiastically screaming that all of this is normal.

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  # 2008181 4-May-2018 21:41
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Unbelievable video from an unlikely source, a Fox news host. I think they're getting war fatigue.

"How can you drain the swamp if you’re the one that keeps muddying the water? You didn’t know about that $130,000 payment to a porn star until you did.
"Your base probably might not care, but you should. I guess you’re too busy draining the swamp to ever stop and smell the stink you’re creating. That’s your doing. That’s your stink. Mr. President, that’s your swamp."

Cavuto: Is Trump giving the media very real ammunition?


BDFL - Memuneh
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  # 2008307 5-May-2018 08:18
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Oh dear...



Rudy Giuliani this week contradicted Mr Trump's statements distancing himself from hush money that was paid to adult film actress Stormy Daniels.


At the White House, Mr Trump said Mr Giuliani was new to the job and "wasn't familiar with everything"


Mr Giuliani later released a statement "intended to clarify" his remarks.


As he left the White House on Friday, Mr Trump told reporters when asked about his new attorney: "He started yesterday. He'll get his facts straight."


Before boarding Air Force One, he told reporters that Mr Giuliani, a former New York City mayor, is "a special guy".


"I will tell you this, when Rudy made the statement, Rudy's great, but Rudy had just started, and he wasn't totally familiar with everything," the Republican president added.


Pressed on his shifting statements regarding the payment to Ms Daniels, Mr Trump said: "We're not changing any stories."


He flew off to the National Rifle Association annual meeting in Dallas, Texas, where he and Vice-President Mike Pence are speaking.



Not only contradicts his lawyer in public but also going to the NRA conference.

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  # 2008314 5-May-2018 08:51
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Oh dear...




Not only contradicts his lawyer in public but also going to the NRA conference.




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  # 2008344 5-May-2018 10:44
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Pressed on his shifting statements regarding the payment to Ms Daniels, Mr Trump said: "We're not changing any stories."




Oh but wait:




My references to timing were not describing my understanding of the President's knowledge, but instead, my understanding of these matters.



Yes - that reads like geriatric word-salad more than obscure lawyer-speak, but seems to be a pretty clear admission that they're changing their story - or at least one of them is.


Never mind - the more lies now, the greater the chance of slipping up under oath later, the higher the chance that Trump will be seeking a pardon from POTUS #46, Pence - if the voices of Jesus in Pence's head tell him that's the right thing to do.




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  # 2008417 5-May-2018 14:23
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freitasm: Not only contradicts his lawyer in public but also going to the NRA conference

Alternative facts and then alternating facts.

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  # 2008451 5-May-2018 15:34
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With Giuliani saying Jahred is "disposable" and Ivanka is a no go zone, I suspect they are worried about what Mueller possibly knows. The attacks on Mueller going to increase. Maybe one more week to go until we see Ivanka's name all over the Liberal news outlets??


And THAT will be interesting.


The worse thing about all of this IMO, is that the constant tweeting, confusion, mainstream / social media regurgitation and coverage is setting a normality where "lying" is almost becoming acceptable. Trump knows this and is using this to his advantage.


Just look at that brilliant documentary about him on Netflix. I can certainly understand how he is using the mainstream media to strengthen his position and he has been doing this for years. His core base will defend him even if they know he is in the wrong as they "must defend the presidency".


Giuliani, a very intelligent man is a great example of that. 


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  # 2008527 5-May-2018 19:00
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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The special counsel, Robert Mueller, is actively considering what would be the most appropriate thank-you gift to send to the former New York mayor Rudolph Giuliani, a source close to Mueller’s team has confirmed.


According to the source, Mueller and his team were behind closed doors on Thursday morning to discuss the gift and appear to be close to a decision.


“They’ve been around and around on this, but a consensus seems to be forming on a bottle of single-malt Scotch,” the source said.


Moments after the news of Mueller’s gift to Giuliani leaked, however, Michael Avenatti, Stormy Daniels’s lawyer, indicated that he had already sent Giuliani a single-malt Scotch on Thursday morning and advised Mueller to select an alternative gift, such as Dom Pérignon champagne or beluga caviar.


Responding to Avenatti’s comments, federal prosecutors investigating Michael Cohen issued a statement asserting that they had, in fact, sent Giuliani an entire case of champagne last night, which would appear to leave caviar as Mueller’s only remaining gift option.


The source close to Mueller said that, no matter what gift the special counsel ultimately chooses, it will be an inadequate token of gratitude. “You can’t put a price tag on what Rudy has done for Bob,” the source said.

Any fool can make money, but it takes a special person to earn the respect of respectable people.

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  # 2008532 5-May-2018 19:51
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And now, the Interview..


4 May 2018 15:49 - The Interview
(There's an audible click as Mueller's aide switches on the tape recorder)


M: 'Shall we get started then? Mr. President, do you swear...?'
T: 'Excuse me, excuse me. I don't swear.'
M: 'I'm sorry, what...?
T: 'I don't swear. My Vice President told me - do you know my Vice President? Lovely man, very lovely. Clean living. Immaculate dresser. No dandruff on HIS shoulders.'
M: 'Yes, I know of Vice President Pence. What has this to do with...'
T: 'He told me I mustn't swear. Says it's bad for my immortal soul. He's very ligious, y'know.'
M: 'You mean RE-ligious?'
T: 'Yeah, yeah, he came back to it. Had a small lapse a few years ago - incident in the vestry or something - but he came back, came back to his faith. Now he's more ligious than ever. Loves his church. Church of the PITA, according to General Kelly. Anyway, Pence told me I shouldn't say f..k, c..t, s..t, b....r, a..hole, p..s. Stuff like that. So I'm not gonna risk my soul. It's a very good one. Best ever, probably.'
M: So you can't swear?'
T: Did I say that? Did I say that? Of course NOT. I can do ANYTHING. I'm the President of the Unite...of America and the best President ever. Possibly for all time. Much much better than Obama. So listen properly when I tell you something. I didn't say I can't swear, I said I won't swear. Is that clear?'
M: 'Crystal. Very well, do you promise...'
T: 'Don't use that word! I hate that word!'
M: 'Pardon?'
T: 'No, pardon's okay. I like that word.'
M: 'I'm confused.'
T: 'Proms. You said proms. I hate that word. I went to a prom once and nobody'd dance with me. Prissy bitches. Is that a swear word?'
M: 'Bitches?'
T: 'No that's a dog. I know lotsa dogs. Fat dogs. I meant Prissy'.
M: 'I don't think that's a swear word.'
T: 'Good. I like Prissy. What about Pussy?'
M: 'It depends on the context.'
T: 'Hey, I can do texts! They call those 'Tweets' now. I do Tweets that'll make your head spin. Lets do the interview that way.'
M: 'Mr.President, this is a closed meeting and it cannot take place via Tweets, emails, Instagram, Facebook or any other type of Social Media. Let's approach this from another direction. I'm going to ask you to guarantee...'
T: 'Guarantees are no good. I should know.'
M: 'Then I'm requesting your assurance...(pauses)
T: 'Go on.'
M: 'That you'll try...'
T: 'Don't like that word either.'
M: 'That you'll tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the...'
T: 'Whats this 'truth' that people keep talking about?'
M: 'The true state of things. The facts.'
T: 'Facts, phiff. Never use 'em.'
M: (takes a deep breath) All right. Then will you declare...'
T: 'I got nothing to declare. I don't have to go through all that Customs sh...routine. I'm the President, the best ever. I've got my own jet. How'd you know about that last trip to Russia, anyway?'
M: (sighs) 'Then I'd like your word that...'
T: 'Which word? I got lotsa words.'
M: (exasperated) Is nothing sacred to you?'
T: 'Say-what?'
M: SAY-CRED. It means that something is inviolate.
T: 'Oh. I got goggles for that.'
M: 'What!?'
T: 'That violet stuff, the goggles stop that. They leave little white slivvery circles, but I think they enhance my blue eyes. Watcha think?'
M: (addressing Rudy Guiliani for the first time) 'Mr. Guiliani, I think your client could use a hand here.'
T: 'Hand? Hand? There's nothing wrong with my hands, prissy pussy!'
RJ: 'Sir, I think the Special Counsel is just asking you to be a little more forthcoming'.'
T: 'Fourth coming? I never come fourth in my life, you ignorant wop! I always win. I'm a winner, I'm a grinner!'
RJ: (urging) Mr.President, remember what we talked about? Being straightforward and honest...'
T: (jeering) 'Yeah, yeah, honest. Like how you honestly dropped me in it about Stormy's payout. What if this jerk asks me about the payments to the other hookers?'
M: 'OTHER hookers?'
T: 'I didn't say that! It was Giuiliani!'
M: 'You said, "other hookers". It's on the tape.
T: 'Do I look like the sorta guy who'd use a hooker?'
Mueller's aide: (muttering) 'Absolutely. No way he'd get laid for free.'
M: 'Mr. Guiliani. Do you think we should resume this interview at a later time?'
RJ: (grins, sensing victory) 'I think Mr. President would be happier if it's off the record.'
T: 'Off the record? F..k that! I'm the bestest President ever and all my words should be recorded for poster...poster...'
RJ: 'Posterity?'
T: 'And that, too!'
M: (visibly angry) 'Mr. President! You won't swear to anything, you won't promise to provide genuine information, you won't guarantee to co-operate, you won't provide any assurance that you will tell the truth, you won't make a declaration, you won't give me your word. In that case, I have no option but to subpoena you.'
T: 'WHAT! Guiliani, what's he talking about? You're a useless f..king lawyer! You told me you'd protect me from all this! You're fired, you dimwitted dips..t! I'm gonna sue your a..e till it bleeds! You'll never smack your balls around my golf courses again, you f..king mor...'



Any fool can make money, but it takes a special person to earn the respect of respectable people.

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  # 2008561 5-May-2018 22:37
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Never had so many laughs what with Giuliani, Borowitz and our very own geekIT. Funny as hell, geekIT.


Was Giuliani pissed, stupid or senile? Or all three?


If Giuliani is all Trump can get to defend him, god help him.


Can't wait to see Trump grilled by an intelligent being who has at least a vague idea of what truth and truthfulness means.

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  # 2008610 6-May-2018 09:40
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In Trump's words, he only hires the brightest and best.

As I heard one commentator say: "Trump will probably admit to three felonies that no one knew about before the first bathroom break."

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  # 2008613 6-May-2018 09:50
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A good representation from Rick and Morty of the White house legal defense team

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  # 2008626 6-May-2018 10:49
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kingdragonfly: In Trump's words, he only hires the brightest and best. ...



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  # 2008781 6-May-2018 16:38
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Washington Post - Rudy Giuliani has no idea what he is doing


This article is behind a paywall.





Rudy Giuliani, since leaving the U.S. attorney’s office nearly 30 years ago, has spent only a small fraction of his time practicing law. He has been a mayor, a presidential candidate, a security consultant, a TV pundit and an unhinged campaign surrogate. In his new gig as President Trump’s lawyer, he is now in far over his head, dealing with areas of law in which he has little expertise, and is up against the most formidable group of prosecutors assembled in recent memory. It should surprise no one that he is a font of bad advice and misinformation.


Take Giuliani’s pronouncements on campaign-finance law. Giuliani is under the mistaken impression that so long as campaign funds were not used to repay Michael Cohen for the Stormy Daniels settlement, Trump is in the clear. He actually thinks that he has dispensed with the campaign-finance-law matter. ...


“Funneling” the payments through a law firm and a specially created LLC is powerful evidence of intent to evade campaign-finance laws. In short, Giuliani has not “settled” the matter of Trump’s potential campaign-finance violation; rather, he has provided valuable admissions. Trump really should have hired someone who understands this area of the law. ...


The worst of all, however, is Giuliani’s public exhortation for Attorney General Jeff Sessions to interfere with the Cohen investigation by going after the investigators ... This is obstruction of justice - the very thing Trump is accused of doing in the case of Michael Flynn - hiding in plain sight. ...


Giuliani is Trump’s cartoon version of what a lawyer does. Playing Roy Cohn on TV is one thing; engaging in this conduct when you serve as the president’s lawyer is quite another. It might be delightful for prosecutors and Michael Avenatti to watch Giuliani mess up this badly, but the president really should have better legal help. Oh, but wait. Esteemed lawyers won’t take Trump as a client. Well, it’s fitting, I suppose, that a client as bad as Trump gets a lawyer as bad as Giuliani.




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  # 2008991 7-May-2018 08:48
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Gizmodo - Trump Picks TV Snake Oil Salesman Dr. Oz, of All People, to Serve on Health Council


Lo and behold, President Donald Trump has appointed none other than widely ridiculed quack Dr. Mehmet Oz - yes, the Dr. Oz so infamous for his dubious TV health advice that the British Medical Journal published a thorough trashing of him - to serve as a health adviser.


On Friday, the White House announced that the TV host will be appointed to serve on the president’s council on sports, fitness, and nutrition, per CNN.


The appointment of Dr. Oz is notable because he’s long used the Dr. Oz Show as a platform to market alternative medicine, i.e. mostly fake or over-hyped products and recommendations.


In one case, a company producing a supposed miracle weight loss drug that he endorsed was fined millions by the FTC, and Dr. Oz was separately summoned before a congressional hearing to testify as to why he kept promoting products with no legitimate science behind them.


But wait, there's more ...


The White House also announced on Friday that Trump will appoint former bodybuilder Lou Ferrigno, famous for playing the Hulk in the television show "The Incredible Hulk" in the 1970s and '80s, to the council for a two-year term.


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