Pocket money - your thoughts

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Forums › Finance and wealth management › Pocket money - your thoughts

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#1638955 22-Sep-2016 19:33

My boys are only 5 and 7 this year so beside the occasional random $2 when in an OP shop or $store, we haven't yet started paying pocket money, but have decided that the $1/year will probably be the fairest when they eventually start asking about it or 'needing' it for own purchases. "Chores" are part of being the family and started at about 3yo feeding the cat and packing the cutlery away. Most often this is a fun part of their day, and can often end in 'helping' dad with the pots 🙈

On our last Christmas holiday we took a 7 week South Island loop in the Housebus and gave them each $5/week 'splurge' money and they quickly learned to save for things that were worth keeping instead of splurging on cheap junk and this also helped avoid the continual "can I have a...?"

My eldest son just recently took on caring for the 15 chickens, and saving for the next Christmas holiday by selling the eggs at school. We funded the purchase of the chickens, and the first bin of food, after which he has paid 'rent' to mum in the eggs we use and bought the next bags of food before doing the three jar method mentioned above. He even spontaneously decided to tithe on this too!

I vividly remember telling mum to "just take the R1.20 off my salary then" when they negotiated to split a cleaners pay amongst us (4) kids if we did the job. At that time R50/month was huge for me as an early teen, but the idea of just docking it a bit when I didn't feel like it grew hugely annoying to my parents and we were all eventually 'fired' for bad workmanship and attendance. 😂

Conversely, we've raised our boys from about 2yo to clean up after themselves (even if it was Dad using your hands for tongs at first) and they're now well trained to clean their rooms and help with vacuuming and wiping down their own bathroom during the weekly 'team tidy'. I see this as taking part in our family, rather than "an early entry into the drudgery of adult life".

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tdgeek

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#1638964 22-Sep-2016 19:53

These days everything costs money. When I was a kid, you didn't need money. Now, you do. yes, there is stuff kids can do money free, but peer pressure is real.

Geektastic

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#1638966 22-Sep-2016 19:58

My father used to give us 50 pence or so if he remembered.

At boarding school, we had no money as there was no use for it: we weren't allowed off school grounds on pain of expulsion.

We did have tuck shop on Thursday and Friday and we were allowed to spend 5 pence and 7 pence respectively, but that was paid for as part of the fees every year.

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#1638975 22-Sep-2016 20:07

Geektastic: My father used to give us 50 pence or so if he remembered.

At boarding school, we had no money as there was no use for it: we weren't allowed off school grounds on pain of expulsion.

We did have tuck shop on Thursday and Friday and we were allowed to spend 5 pence and 7 pence respectively, but that was paid for as part of the fees every year.

I had to pay 10% of the annual service fee for my Lambo which really annoyed me...

But when I had my licence for a year they paid it

tdgeek

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#1638976 22-Sep-2016 20:09

Geektastic: My father used to give us 50 pence or so if he remembered.

At boarding school, we had no money as there was no use for it: we weren't allowed off school grounds on pain of expulsion.

We did have tuck shop on Thursday and Friday and we were allowed to spend 5 pence and 7 pence respectively, but that was paid for as part of the fees every year.

So, in todays purchasing power, you got paid 10 x the tuck shop meal?

So.... todays meal is $8 at the tuck shop? That makes $80 pocket money?

dejadeadnz

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#1638980 22-Sep-2016 20:13

jonathan18:

So you're really not taking the p!ss?

And at what age would be suitable to start putting your kids through this rigmarole?

Pocket money is a tricky thing with kids - including deciding what age to start providing it - but I think this is just going too far. Sure, pocket money can be useful to teach the value of money and saving etc, but at the same time I don't think it's necessary to expose them to the kind of cr@p we have to deal with as adults such as (supposed) performance-based pay.

Some of the pleasure in being a kid is just that - avoiding some of the burdens of being an adult. My oldest (eight) said as much this morning to my youngest (five) - life just gets worse and more restricted the older one gets!

I agree with this man. Personally, I had the enormous fortune and privilege of growing up as the only child of (admittedly) upper-middle class parents who nonetheless totally went against the grain of typical Hong Kong Chinese and gave me an upbringing that was open, liberal and based around equipping me with the necessary skills to become a decent, responsible adult. But without some of the (IMO) excessively structured rigmarole or "work for 'pay'" type mentality around pocket money. Very few things were set in stone, except that most things education/learning related, I could pretty much have as much as I wanted within reason. There was a reasonably regular supply of "cool" things like game consoles etc but it was always with an understanding that I had to keep my academic performance and personal behaviour up to a good standard. But it was never tied to "You do X and you get Y" -- my parents didn't unduly deprive me just because I didn't finish first in my class but at the same time achieving multiple As in School Cert wasn't some license to claim rewards either. This strikes me as much more human and more about developing the right behaviours for the right motivations.

I never formally worked until second-to-last year of university, where I secured law-related jobs. If I insisted on working at university, I suspect my parents would have allowed it but there was no way in hell they would have allowed me to work during my high school days, especially during term time, as they regarded any kind of undue distraction to education as unwarranted. Until I was working, whilst at university I was provided with a pretty modest allowance that kept my fed, warm and allowed the very odd minor indulgence like buying a book for pleasure or going out a couple of times a month. Some people might wonder how I ever learned to work as part of a team or had any work ethic, yet amazingly enough despite entering the workforce without the usual X years at a supermarket etc, the thing that all my employers always noted was how values-driven I was and how well I worked with others.

The thing that I really appreciated from my parents was learning to do things just because they were the right thing to do. Old ladies from the neighbourhood was driven down to the supermarket when I was 16 not because I would get a reward for it but because I felt lucky to have had all the things I had and genuinely wanted to do something nice with my spare time. My wife (she's Canadian) was brought up in a very similar way by a set of French grandparents and we intend to raise our own (future) kids in a similar way. We have also had the privilege of fostering some kids and have used upbringing/pocket money methods of a similar ilk, with some excellent successes in modifying the behaviour of previously troubled kids.

tdgeek

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#1638982 22-Sep-2016 20:22

dejadeadnz:

jonathan18:

So you're really not taking the p!ss?

And at what age would be suitable to start putting your kids through this rigmarole?

Pocket money is a tricky thing with kids - including deciding what age to start providing it - but I think this is just going too far. Sure, pocket money can be useful to teach the value of money and saving etc, but at the same time I don't think it's necessary to expose them to the kind of cr@p we have to deal with as adults such as (supposed) performance-based pay.

Some of the pleasure in being a kid is just that - avoiding some of the burdens of being an adult. My oldest (eight) said as much this morning to my youngest (five) - life just gets worse and more restricted the older one gets!

I agree with this man. Personally, I had the enormous fortune and privilege of growing up as the only child of (admittedly) upper-middle class parents who nonetheless totally went against the grain of typical Hong Kong Chinese and gave me an upbringing that was open, liberal and based around equipping me with the necessary skills to become a decent, responsible adult. But without some of the (IMO) excessively structured rigmarole or "work for 'pay'" type mentality around pocket money. Very few things were set in stone, except that most things education/learning related, I could pretty much have as much as I wanted within reason. There was a reasonably regular supply of "cool" things like game consoles etc but it was always with an understanding that I had to keep my academic performance and personal behaviour up to a good standard. But it was never tied to "You do X and you get Y" -- my parents didn't unduly deprive me just because I didn't finish first in my class but at the same time achieving multiple As in School Cert wasn't some license to claim rewards either. This strikes me as much more human and more about developing the right behaviours for the right motivations.

I never formally worked until second-to-last year of university, where I secured law-related jobs. If I insisted on working at university, I suspect my parents would have allowed it but there was no way in hell they would have allowed me to work during my high school days, especially during term time, as they regarded any kind of undue distraction to education as unwarranted. Until I was working, whilst at university I was provided with a pretty modest allowance that kept my fed, warm and allowed the very odd minor indulgence like buying a book for pleasure or going out a couple of times a month. Some people might wonder how I ever learned to work as part of a team or had any work ethic, yet amazingly enough despite entering the workforce without the usual X years at a supermarket etc, the thing that all my employers always noted was how values-driven I was and how well I worked with others.

The thing that I really appreciated from my parents was learning to do things just because they were the right thing to do. Old ladies from the neighbourhood was driven down to the supermarket when I was 16 not because I would get a reward for it but because I felt lucky to have had all the things I had and genuinely wanted to do something nice with my spare time. My wife (she's Canadian) was brought up in a very similar way by a set of French grandparents and we intend to raise our own (future) kids in a similar way. We have also had the privilege of fostering some kids and have used upbringing/pocket money methods of a similar ilk, with some excellent successes in modifying the behaviour of previously troubled kids.

I agree. I never thought of pocket money as a freebie or a reward as such. I took it as a privilege. I respected it. When my Mum bought me stuff, I never thought sweet as, i thought, I'm lucky to have this. Its different these days.

MikeAqua

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#1639198 23-Sep-2016 09:22

"Luxury!"

"When I were lad ... "

Mike

jonherries

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#1639209 23-Sep-2016 09:38

My 7yo gets cash all the time from family here in Ireland which is apparently a cultural thing, so he doesnt get pocket money, however anything he banks as savings gets an equal contribution from me, which has so far worked ok, but weirdly banks generally pay interest yearly not monthly here so the compound interest lesson hasnt really worked.

I like the thought of the compound interest, and running a business, will have to contrive something as the chicken thing isn't going to fly (pardon the pun).

ghettomaster

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#1639246 23-Sep-2016 10:11

Hey thanks for the awesome replies guys. It's certainly given me food for thought on how I can do things better and I certainly plan to do some thinking over the weekend about how I can do things better.

In thinking about it, my goal with this aspect of her upbringing is to teach her good money management skills. Get her in the habit of saving and budgeting, and teach her to see money as a tool she can invest rather than just use now.

Rikkitic

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#1639274 23-Sep-2016 10:46

A friend once told me a story about his daughter. She did something (I don't remember what) that wasted 20 cents. He pointed this out and she said something like it doesn't matter, it's only 20 cents. The next time her pocket money was due, he changed it all to 20-cent pieces and took her for a drive, explaining this was her pocket money for the week. He then started chucking the 20-cent pieces out the window as they travelled. When she asked, very indignantly, why he was throwing her pocket money away, he said it doesn't matter, it's only 20 cents.

She grew up to be a very sensible and responsible lady.

Plesse igmore amd axxept applogies in adbance fir anu typos

Zippity

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#1639284 23-Sep-2016 10:57

My wife doesn't give me enough.

Who should I complain too? :(

MikeB4

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#1639304 23-Sep-2016 11:31

In our home helping out was the norm, our kids just helped, it maybe due to my medical situation but they just did things. We paid allowances directly into their accounts but there was always pay as we went stuff as well.

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#1639305 23-Sep-2016 11:32

Zippity:

My wife doesn't give me enough.

Who should I complain too? :(

go on strike

jonathan18

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#1639309 23-Sep-2016 11:35

Zippity:

My wife doesn't give me enough.

Who should I complain too? :(

My wife complains similarly!

In all seriousness, we get $15 a week "pocket money" to spend on ourselves (yep, a tiny amount, but can't really justify more given we still have a mortgage!); my wife basically spends this as she gets it, inevitably on clothes or jewellery. I put mine aside, and from this small weekly amount have over time bought things like art prints and a mirrorless camera. These savings also paid for my latest tattoo!

From my perspective, that sends a message to my kids, who clearly know their parents' different saving/spending habits, and can see the value of what can happen when you put even just a bit aside each week.

Thus far, it's not really changed their need to spend any pocket money or other cash they get given either immediately or within a week or so! They also still resent the requirement that they bank 1/3rd of any money they're given. I think the demise of the Post Office savings book and deposits of coins made weekly through school hasn't helped here - the transfer of money via internet banking means nothing to kids in real terms. (Also, more generally kids hardly ever see us making transactions in cash.) Perhaps I need to just deal with the hassle of taking them into the bank to make these deposits...

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