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88 posts

Master Geek

# 154828 9-Nov-2014 15:31
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November is birthday month for our families, this year my Sis's bday and her brothers b'day family dinners are being held on the same day and time. We can't attend both. I suggested for this odd time we attend our siblings bday separately to avoid disappointment for the others siblings dinner we couldn't attend.

We can't arrange to see either earlier in the day and due to the distance between the two (an hours drive we can't really attend both and would miss dinner and/or the cake at one).

Her argument is that we should be attending as couples and I agree but surely an odd compromise is fair enough?

Any thoughts, comments or solutions would be welcome!

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1304 posts

Uber Geek

  # 1171703 9-Nov-2014 17:05
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charsleysa: Sounds like you haven't been together THAT long, and if that's the case then neither family would care (or maybe even notice) that you haven't shown up as a couple.

I'd go with with your idea and just take the flak afterwards if she's still not on board.

I agree. Actually, I'd take it further - if she insists on you both going as a couple then you both go to your Sis's birthday and send apologies for her brother's celebration. The choice is hers, she either goes with you or goes without you, and if she wants to make a big deal about it then perhaps the relationship isn't quite as much a couple as she thinks. Something this simple shouldn't be a cause for conflict. 

2213 posts

Uber Geek

  # 1171726 9-Nov-2014 17:21
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This is a simple problem with a simple solution.... what is the main course and which host is likely to put on the best feed?!!


1465 posts

Uber Geek

  # 1171971 10-Nov-2014 10:05
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And make sure you tell your girlfriend that you polled a bunch of random geeks on a website called Geekzone and they all agree that you're right and she's wrong.

She's bound to see reason then!

(Under Health & Safety regulations, I am required to point out that you should not do that, ever!)

1304 posts

Uber Geek

  # 1172223 10-Nov-2014 14:15
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BTR: Happy wife = happy life. Do what you girlfriend wants unless you like playing with fire.


Speaking from a woman's perspective, this is the last thing you should do. In a relationship, both parties are ideally looking out for each other and trying to accommodate the other person. Give and take on both sides. Nothing is worse than always having to wonder if suggestions you make are being agreed to because your partner really agrees, or if he is taking the line of least resistance and only agreeing because he doesn't know how to say no. Disagreeing with a partner does not need to be confrontational. We all have to compromise sometimes. But, compromising and feeling resentful is not the way to nurture a good relationship. 


It's starting to look like there are a bunch of hen-pecked guys here on Geekzone wink


Either that, or some of you haven't worked out how to communicate yet. Women aren't mind-readers. If you don't want to do something then say so. If you love her enough to want to make a life with her then respect her intelligence and remember that as much as you want to please her, she wants to please you. By denying her the opportunity to understand your point of view you are denying her the opportunity to do what she wants - make you happy. Think about it.



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