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scareyclairy
9 posts

Wannabe Geek


  #579448 9-Feb-2012 20:38
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NokiaRocks: One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

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scareyclairy
9 posts

Wannabe Geek


  #579450 9-Feb-2012 20:39
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Lol someone tell me how to use this thing!!! Sorry, noob being noob here

isosmama
92 posts

Master Geek


  #579454 9-Feb-2012 20:42

Whats the worst thing about farming dildos?

Squatters.



xpd

xpd
Trash bandit
12005 posts

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Retired Mod
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Lifetime subscriber

  #585572 23-Feb-2012 10:14
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At a wedding reception recently someone yelled,
"All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your
life worth living."


The bartender was nearly crushed to death.




       Gavin / xpd / FastRaccoon

 

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BlueShift
1632 posts

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  #688938 20-Sep-2012 16:51
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So Prince Charles & Camilla are touring NZ, and during the tour, they have a royal visit with the Maori King at Turangawaewae. Charles and the King have been through the formal part of the proceedings and are chatting in a quiet moment.

The King is curious about the hat that Charles is wearing; its like a Davy Crockett coonskin cap, with the tail hanging down and all, but its made from fox fur.   So he says to Charles, "Hey, Charlie, cuz, what's with the funny-looking hat, bro?"

Prince Charles replies, "Well, you see, I was on the telephone this morning to Mummy, and I said to her, "Mummy, today I'm going to Ingarooare-waaheah to see the Maori King", and she said to me, "Oh, Ingarooare-waaheah, wear the fox hat.""

timmmay
18590 posts

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  #707302 27-Oct-2012 08:42
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A father buys a lie-detector robot that slaps people when they lie.

He decides to test it out at dinner one night.
The father asks his son what he did that day.
The son says, "I did some homework." The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "OK, I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"
Son says, "Toy Story." The robot slaps the son again.
Son says, "OK! OK! We were watching porn!"
Dad says, "What?? At your age I didn't even know what porn was!" The robot slaps the father.
Mum laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son!" The robot slaps the mother.

P.S.: Robot for sale

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