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  Reply # 1415199 28-Oct-2015 08:32
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riahon: 

For all you know she was professional, but she DID take offense, remained professional, went home and cried because she is trying her best and someone twice implied she was stupid in a crowded restaurant and she considered ending it all again.............just like when she was bullied at school.......


Quiet an assumption. The op already explained that his comments were made in a humorous way. A normal waitress would not have taken offence to this at all. Far worse things happen in the daily life of a waitress. (customers that shout/swear when food is wrong/late etc, yes that happens all too often in the industry).

It seems you are suggesting people need to walk on eggshells around the average waitress just in-case they having a bad day, they may take offence? You forget though, they are there to serve, and the customer is always right. (Thats their job!)

If said waitress did take offence then maybe she should look for a job in another industry. Waitressing is definitely not a job for the easily offended.

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  Reply # 1415204 28-Oct-2015 08:41
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Hopefully no ponytails were involved...

 
 
 
 


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  Reply # 1415211 28-Oct-2015 08:56
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michael001: Thank you for informing us of this, honey.

That is shocking how you were treated, you wait until I tell all the ladies at the knitting circle about this travesty. It is really good that you teased and made fun of that inconsiderate little so-in-so, she should not be working in a job that serves the public. Could you let us all know immediately where this place is so myself and Mrs Precious Pilkington can leave lots of bad feedback for them. We will make this our personal mission to ensure that girl does not have a job by Monday week.

Lots of Love,
Mrs I.R Lovely.


Wow, this thread really has descended into a pit of nastiness!

I've no problem with frank and open debate in response to the original post (which, as I've already pointed out, I disagree with), but it's taken a turn for the worse with posts such as this which contribute nothing to the discussion. Scratch that - posts like this will actually help destroy discussion here on GZ, as many contributors will just be turned off and tune out.

Yep, heard the argument many times before that one can just ignore such threads, but when it reaches this level it's setting a standard of debate which I hoped this site could avoid...

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  Reply # 1415218 28-Oct-2015 09:03
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It is exactly this sort of nastiness that turned me off the TradeMe community forums. Their Parenting thread is famous for the sort of things that are being posted here.




Life is too short to remove USB safely.


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  Reply # 1415233 28-Oct-2015 09:24
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I have to say I agree with the previous two posts. I think this thread has spiralled out of control. Reactions are way out of proportion to the original post.





I reject your reality and substitute my own. - Adam Savage
 




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  Reply # 1415234 28-Oct-2015 09:26
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This will be my last post on this thread. I am really disappointed by the way some people have chosen to view, and respond to this thread. I was not nasty to this woman. If my daughter had been this waitress, and someone had said what I said to her, I would have had no problems with it, I may have even teased her about her silly comment myself (furthermore I intend to raise my daughter to be able to have a laugh at herself as would have been warranted for saying such a thing).

Plenty of people have said they disagreed with my assessment of it, and my choice of way to respond, without being nasty, sarcastic or rude. I can respect that, not everyone sees things the same way as everyone else. The rest of the posts have pretty much ensured, I won't be sharing any such levity again, least it results in a similar response. 






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  Reply # 1415290 28-Oct-2015 09:59
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part of me wants to start a new thread "You won't believe the replies to a forum post..."
because I fantasize about stirring.




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  Reply # 1415291 28-Oct-2015 10:00
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I think there are lots of thin skinned people here.

Folks, there are opinions from both sides and that's good.

I think you are completely missing "debate" and thinking there should only be one opinion around - the one supporting yours.






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  Reply # 1415305 28-Oct-2015 10:18
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I find myself wondering if the tone of some responses doesn't have something to do with growing up in an environment of increasing political correctness and the dumbing down of media to the level of the easily offended. I stopped watching NZ TV news for a number of reasons, but one was certainly all the warning notices that 'some viewers may be offended by the following content'. I always want to scream back, 'so let them turn the f-ing thing off!'





I reject your reality and substitute my own. - Adam Savage
 


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  Reply # 1415309 28-Oct-2015 10:23
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Rikkitic: I find myself wondering if the tone of some responses doesn't have something to do with growing up in an environment of increasing political correctness and the dumbing down of media to the level of the easily offended. I stopped watching NZ TV news for a number of reasons, but one was certainly all the warning notices that 'some viewers may be offended by the following content'. I always want to scream back, 'so let them turn the f-ing thing off!'



So much of this.





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  Reply # 1415311 28-Oct-2015 10:26
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Rikkitic:
mdooher:
DizzyD:
mdooher: 

I agree, the catchall of "that is not appropriate" is used far too often. And as for the "facebook special" of "I was horrified and offended" usually followed by some poor sap having to apologise in case he loses his job. Its just bullying.


Stephen Fry summed it up quiet nicely.

It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more... than a whine. 'I find that offensive.' It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so f****** what.


Stephen Fry is the celebrity I'd most like to have dinner with. Very funny, extremely intelligent, very well read and in some ways thinks in an almost alien way from the way my mind works.

Edit: Well Ok, I'd rather have dinner with Liz Hurley, but that would be for an entirely different reason.


Stephen Fry might be prepared to accommodate you.



That is one of the things where Stephen and my brains differ in their working.




Matthew


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  Reply # 1415312 28-Oct-2015 10:27
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freitasm: I think there are lots of thin skinned people here.

Folks, there are opinions from both sides and that's good.

I think you are completely missing "debate" and thinking there should only be one opinion around - the one supporting yours.




I admit to being thinned skinned, I never used to be but when one is subjected to prejudice, insult, ignorance over a period of time the skin is thinned and ones defence mechanisms become more acute and hair triggered. 




Mike
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Take My Advice, Pull Down Your Pants And Slide On The Ice!

 

 


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  Reply # 1415394 28-Oct-2015 11:33
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Personally, I didn't mind the original post about the seemingly odd questions the waitress asked. I think there may have been reasons she felt she needed to ask them but in all likelihood she was either tired/stressed, not confident at talking to people (surprisingly common with young people who live their lives online), or perhaps was just not too bright. I think that when I leapt to her defence in my first post in this thread I may have been worked up by the OP's second post saying he thought she was "hung over, still drunk, stoned, or otherwise under the influence" - I think that's a pretty big assumption to make from a couple of dumb questions unless there was some other symptom displayed to lead to that conclusion.

Assuming the topic was supposed to be "Dumb things wait staff say" I'm prepared to offer a story to get the thread back on-topic, at the risk of opening myself up to personal attack...

In Wellington in the mid-1980s I went into a supposedly quite up-market restaurant where the menu listed Soup de Jour as an entree. (I believe that should actually be "soupe..." but anyhoo) and I asked the waitress "What's the soup of the day?" She replied "Soup de Jour" and I said "Yes, but what is it?" She replied "Soup de Jour" again so I was more specific: "What flavour is it?" and she replied "Soup de Jour!" like I was obviously a bit thick. So I asked "Are the de jours fresh?" and apparently they were.

I was also once told that I couldn't have the main I ordered because chicken was out of season.



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  Reply # 1415396 28-Oct-2015 11:40
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I was also once told that I couldn't have the main I ordered because chicken was out of season.


I couldn't resist coming back to LOL at that, fantastic!

Re your comment about my second post suggesting she was drunk/stoned etc, I was trying to avoid insulting her actual base intelligence, hung over is curable, stupidity is often terminal :) 

I agree upon reflection, the topic subject could have been better, but I generally expected similarly funny stories to follow and for everyone to have a bit of a laugh at the situation (Not at her personally). I certainly didn't expect a 7 page tirade against me for being so "mean" to her :) 


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  Reply # 1415426 28-Oct-2015 11:58
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I have no problem with humour and will laugh at myself easily, I just get defensive if I feel its unfair especially around speech, understanding, etc etc as there are many hidden causes and reasons for that.

As for laughing at ones self, now this is not about talk but it was a form of unspoken communication. My first job on leaving school was a Management Trainee for a large Plumbing and Electrical supplier. I was redoing the Showroom layout and during a very busy lunch period ( Showroom was city centre)
I was moving some electric ranges, while lifting a particularly heavy Atlas model my bodily functions took on a mind of their own and created a large very loud release of gaseous emissions, and I mean very big and very loud. The entire show room heard it,I could not control myself and I lost it
completely and collapsed laughing. On retrospect a few days latter I had delayed embarrassment. I was never allowed to forget the incident until I eventually moved to a new job. 




Mike
Retired IT Manager. 
The views stated in my posts are my personal views and not that of any other organisation.

 

 

 

Take My Advice, Pull Down Your Pants And Slide On The Ice!

 

 


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