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932 posts

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  #2433269 5-Mar-2020 16:16
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Handsomedan:

 

Small thing that annoys me? Seeing my son work so damn hard all through summer to get into a sports team that he deserves a place in, but being denied the opportunity on the basis of the coach being the sole selector and there being nepotism and politics at play... 

 

His son and his son's best school mates are making up a decent sized chunk of the team and a few of them are not good enough to be there. Also club chairman and committee members are also parents of kids in team.

 

Quite upsetting to see the amount of effort expended by a young boy (who is very good at what he does and ridiculously dedicated) to fit into a group that simply will not take him unless someone leaves and one of their friends is not available to fill the void. 

 

 

 

 

Sadly there's always this risk with parent run sport. And the way schools are going, there will be more and more of them (IE schools having less to do with extra curricular activities). 

 

Can you get any of the fees refunded? I assume he still gets to play, just for a lower team?


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  #2433290 5-Mar-2020 16:49
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Senecio: People who rush into a lift as soon as the door opens and don’t allow the occupants to leave first.

 

Same with bus and train


 
 
 
 


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  #2433299 5-Mar-2020 16:57
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Handsomedan:

 

trig42:

 

What sport?

 

Seems like a lot of fees.

 

 

 

Agree - it is BS, and it happens.

 

Football. 

 

$250 Fees

 

$500 Coaching Fees 

 

 

Coaching fees? That's novel. When I was involved in Football (I assume you mean Association Football) both as a player and coach of a school boy team, many years ago now, there was never a "coaching fee".

 

I know it's not necessarily the "sporting" option I think I'd consider approaching it this from this perspective, especially since they haven't been sporting about things.

 

"You've taken our money which to us means you planned to give the lad regular and adequate time on the field. If you dont intend to give him regular and adequate game time we want all of our money back. 

 

Please respond with your intentions by  XX/YY/ZZ (insert a date you think is fair) otherwise I shall instruct my lawyer to commence legal action. (or what ever action you think is appropriate.) "

 

In my time we regularly had more players than were needed, but we still gave them all regular adequate game time. It was the correct thing to do.





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  #2433352 5-Mar-2020 19:47
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Handsomedan:

 

$250 Fees

 

$500 Coaching Fees 

 

 

Jesus wept.  I coached cricket / managed a team of kids for years - if there'd been an inflation-adjusted fee at even a fraction of that we'd have had a no-show at every match and I'd have been left to drink my thermos at an empty park.  I think the local club fee was $20 for the season, if a kid hadn't paid - the club could stick it where the sun don't shine if they expected me to tell the kid they couldn't play - and the club never asked.  Not one of my team ended up playing for NZ - but they had fun.  Beat the kids from "high decile" and private schools sometimes - some of the poor losers with over-ambitious parents ended up in genuine tears, and I never said a word.

 

There's something seriously wrong with the world if a $500 fee for sport coaching is considered normal - and it's a world I don't want any part of.

 

 


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  #2433362 5-Mar-2020 20:02
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dimsim:

 

Handsomedan:

 

The small thing that annoys me? Seeing my son work so damn hard all through summer to get into a sports team that he deserves a place in, but being denied the opportunity on the basis of the coach being the sole selector and there being nepotism and politics at play... 

 

His son and his son's best school mates are making up a decent-sized chunk of the team and a few of them are not good enough to be there. Also club chairman and committee members are also parents of kids in the team.

 

Quite upsetting to see the amount of effort expended by a young boy (who is very good at what he does and ridiculously dedicated) to fit into a group that simply will not take him unless someone leaves and one of their friends is not available to fill the void. 

 

 

 

 

Yep, that's B$. Unfortunately, nepotism is alive and well in a lot of kids' sports teams.

 

 

 

 

This is not a small thing, unfortunately, it is how things are going :/:/:/


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  #2433373 5-Mar-2020 20:46
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mudguard:

Handsomedan:


Small thing that annoys me? Seeing my son work so damn hard all through summer to get into a sports team that he deserves a place in, but being denied the opportunity on the basis of the coach being the sole selector and there being nepotism and politics at play... 


His son and his son's best school mates are making up a decent sized chunk of the team and a few of them are not good enough to be there. Also club chairman and committee members are also parents of kids in team.


Quite upsetting to see the amount of effort expended by a young boy (who is very good at what he does and ridiculously dedicated) to fit into a group that simply will not take him unless someone leaves and one of their friends is not available to fill the void. 



 


Sadly there's always this risk with parent run sport. And the way schools are going, there will be more and more of them (IE schools having less to do with extra curricular activities). 


Can you get any of the fees refunded? I assume he still gets to play, just for a lower team?


Those fees are for the second team down.
If he’d made it into the top team, there would’ve been an additional $300 on top.
We also sent him to a camp with the top team a couple of weeks ago, which was also another $250.
So all up $1000 this season plus petrol to get around, boots, shin pads, bottle.


To play in the second team. After a summer of training 4 times a week and effectively being welcomed to the squad.




Handsome Dan Has Spoken.

 

Handsome Dan is currently WFH.

 

Handsome Dan is perplexed...and a little stir crazy.

 

Handsome Dan is well and truly over Home Detention...

 

Handsome Dan is trying not to sweat the small stuff


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Ultimate Geek


  #2433384 5-Mar-2020 20:55
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Handsomedan:
Those fees are for the second team down.
If he’s made it into the top team, there would’ve been an additional $300 on top.
We’ve also sent him to a camp with the top team a couple of weeks which was also another $250.
So all up $1000 this season plus petrol to get around, boots, shin pads, bottle,

 

To be honest, I'd just lump it and encourage him to play as well as he can and get into the top team that way. I had a reverse situation when I was at high school, my father taught at school and coached the first eleven. I was a decent cricketer and captained each team up until the first eleven, I was only ever twelfth man in sixth form, then picked in seventh form. Dad took me aside and said I wouldn't be captain whilst he was coaching. I knew why, I wasn't bothered. Fortunately my bat did most of the talking.

 

But I've also seen the other side, where Dad has had parent's constantly calling, wanting to know why their son wasn't playing etc etc. But then again, I'd never seen fees like that for school sport. But as I said, fewer and fewer teachers will take sport. The old man took rugby, cricket and then eventually hockey (as it was midweek) for his entire teaching career. Now teachers arrive at school and get asked to take a sports team (the lower elevens are just making sure enough are there, take the team kit) and say, on a weekend, are you crazy? Which is fair enough. 


 
 
 
 


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  #2433385 5-Mar-2020 20:57
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Ouch that starts getting a bit spendy.

 

As a matter of interest did you get any feedback from the camp? Anything there might might raise red flags about his perceived ability, or on the other side of that coin indicate his ability should at least rate him good enough to be in the playing squad for the second team?





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  #2433392 5-Mar-2020 21:14
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mudguard:

 

To be honest, I'd just lump it and encourage him to play as well as he can and get into the top team that way. I had a reverse situation when I was at high school, my father taught at school and coached the first eleven. I was a decent cricketer and captained each team up until the first eleven, I was only ever twelfth man in sixth form, then picked in seventh form. Dad took me aside and said I wouldn't be captain whilst he was coaching. I knew why, I wasn't bothered. Fortunately my bat did most of the talking.

 

But I've also seen the other side, where Dad has had parent's constantly calling, wanting to know why their son wasn't playing etc etc. But then again, I'd never seen fees like that for school sport. But as I said, fewer and fewer teachers will take sport. The old man took rugby, cricket and then eventually hockey (as it was midweek) for his entire teaching career. Now teachers arrive at school and get asked to take a sports team (the lower elevens are just making sure enough are there, take the team kit) and say, on a weekend, are you crazy? Which is fair enough. 

 

 

You make some very good points, but for the lad to play as well as he can, to get selected for the top team, he first has to get game time in the second team. Something that it would appear isn't happening.





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  #2433452 6-Mar-2020 00:02
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Technofreak:

 

You make some very good points, but for the lad to play as well as he can, to get selected for the top team, he first has to get game time in the second team. Something that it would appear isn't happening.

 

 

Oh dear.  This brings back memories of my high school days, where as a puny pimpled bespectacled weakling with the god given anti-gift of some kind of aberration in synaptic connections, accentuated by weird hormonal rushes - nevertheless still with serious ambition - I fought desperately to make the 1st team - probably to make my father happy.  My freaking prize was to be appointed captain of the second team the next year, a complete and utter loser in charge of all the losing losers who lost.  Had a happy ending though, I married the prom queen, later when photographed bare chested wearing nothing but my bonnet after graduation for my second PhD - something I managed to squeeze in between Olympics - the image made the centrefold of Cleo, I bought Apple shares with the royalties, and the rest is history.


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  #2433489 6-Mar-2020 08:20
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Crikey - this could've been a thread in and of itself! 

 

 

 

Long story short, wee man will play for the second team, we'll pay the fees and we'll see where we stand at the end of the season. 

 

He's reconciled himself with playing for the 2nd team and will just do what he can to impress enough to go through this whole rollercoaster again at the end of the season and through next summer. Unless it's a bad season and he'll simply change clubs (which leaves him at square one). 

 

I think if there is one thing that really grates me in all of this it's the $1000 for a 5 month season that doesn't feel like value for money. And the nepotism/favouritism. That's two things. 

 

 

 

 





Handsome Dan Has Spoken.

 

Handsome Dan is currently WFH.

 

Handsome Dan is perplexed...and a little stir crazy.

 

Handsome Dan is well and truly over Home Detention...

 

Handsome Dan is trying not to sweat the small stuff


Devastation by stupidity
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  #2433497 6-Mar-2020 09:00
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Valuable life lesson for young person: Sometimes life isn't fair and you just have to deal with it as best you can and move on.

 

 





I don't think there is ever a bad time to talk about how absurd war is, how old men make decisions and young people die. - George Clooney
 


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  #2433505 6-Mar-2020 09:17
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This:

 

Click to see full size

 

Isn't "STOP" supposed to mean "STOP" ?

 

Grrr....


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  #2433515 6-Mar-2020 09:34
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@handsomedan as someone who has played in teams, done a little coaching and been involved in clubs on and off, whilst your situation sounds tough for your son, and I do commiserate, there are many factors in building teams, some of them have much less to do with merit and form, and more about the team as a whole, the club or many other things. If the AB's picked on form alone, our teams would be different most years, combinations wouldn't form and many other things. Sometimes it can be about the fact that if x kid plays, then his 3 friends play who are better, and this means you are guaranteed to have a full team every week. It can also be somewhat about popularity, some players play better next to specific other players. even if that player isn't the best in their position, they are better for team morale. Your situation may just be plain jane altruism, but being a coach is a tough thankless job, where people are quick to jump to conclusions, and criticism and slow to praise. We pay for our son to play sport, though less than what you have shelled out, and our club, and coaches are at pains to ensure every parent understands you aren't buying court or field time, it's for coaching which benefits the player whether they play on the team in the weekend or not.

 

He may have to wait out his chance and it may take some time, and this part of sport can be difficult for everyone let alone young kids, but if they can learn this, it will help them perform mentally in life and in sport as well.

 

It's sucks if you work hard and don't get rewarded, but in my experience, most kids get their chance eventually, if they stick with it.  Look how many people make the AB's after being on the fringes for a long time.

 

I would very calmly ask the coach what (s)he feels your son can do to improve his chances at selection. Be prepared to hear things you may not personally believe or agree with, but stay calm. Even if they are wrong, they have a difficult job. Every parent wants their kids to play if they are good.

 

 

 

 


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