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75 posts

Master Geek
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Topic # 191216 27-Jan-2016 20:56
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I've just had a great phone call from someone from "Microsoft 10 Windows Technical Support Help Desk" using the NZ number 06 864 3267 (I love caller ID).

 

Of course knowing fully well that the Microsoft 10 Windows Technical Support Help Desk wouldn't be ringing me because 1. They wouldn't know me from a bar of soap, and 2. All our computers at home run Mac OS and 3. Why would Microsoft be ringing me at home anyway? I decided to have as much fun as I could.

 

After being told that I have ..picked up a "virus software program" from visiting Facebook and Twitter, I knew where we were about to head. The conversation went along the lines of:

 

Caller: "What do you see on the screen?"

 

Me: "Its black."

 

Caller: "You mean its turned off"

 

Me: "I don't know, how do I know its turned off?"

 

Caller: "Can you turn it on for me please?"

 

Me: "How do I do that?"

 

Caller: "You push the on button."

 

Me: "What on button?"

 

Caller (getting a bit upset): "The button to turn it on."

 

Me: "Oh, you mean the hammer beside me?"

 

Caller (Now very upset as this isn't going to plan): "Use the f****** hammer to hit yourself in the head" (I didn't think Technical Support Help Desks were so rude tongue-out).

 

Me: "Good bye" and hung up.

 

Anyone else find doing this sort of thing fun?


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BDFL - Memuneh
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  Reply # 1480254 27-Jan-2016 21:10
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I mentioned before... A woman called me, my laptop was on but I still asked her to give me time to "turn it on"... After making her wait a few minutes I loaded had a pr0n video site, turned speakers at max volume and started playing one of the movies.

 

She was the one who hang up.





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Reply # 1480257 27-Jan-2016 21:21
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Awww shucks you guys are being mean. cool





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Ultimate Geek
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  Reply # 1480261 27-Jan-2016 21:42
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freitasm:

 

I mentioned before... A woman called me, my laptop was on but I still asked her to give me time to "turn it on"... After making her wait a few minutes I loaded had a pr0n video site, turned speakers at max volume and started playing one of the movies.

 

She was the one who hang up.

 

 

Great tactic, i've got to try this next time i get a call like this!


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  Reply # 1480274 27-Jan-2016 22:11
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Scoring of scam baits:

 

1 point for each minute you keep them on the line

 

2 points for each time they call you back

 

5 points for each time they swear at you

 

10 points for each extra person (supervisor, 2nd-level tech) you get to talk to

 

bonus points for funny accents, speech impediments, thinking up a storyline for your improv session

 

I usually start out with "Hang on, there's someone at the door" (I wonder if I could get away with "Hang on, there's someone on the phone"?)

 

Then it always takes me a long time to turn the computer on (read out as much as I can remember of an entire BSOD), and maybe the power goes off, and I accidentally hang up (an easy 2 points!). During this time, you can think up your improv scenario. My best effort involved the person coming back to the door, his dog attacking me (rarked up my own dog for sound effects), but I shot it (handclaps), and the visitor for good measure. Then I bled to death.

 

@freitasm: Where do you go to get those videos? innocent

 

 

 

 


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  Reply # 1481242 29-Jan-2016 14:21
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frankv:5 points for each time they swear at you 

 

 

 

Hee hee...

 

"F___ you buddy" was the last thing the guy said before he hung up on me last time I had one.

 

 

 

I told him I ordered my Lamb Korma and Garlic Naan three hours ago and he was taking too long.

 

I know that might look/sound racist but when you try to rip me off, all courtesies and pleasantries go out the window.





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  Reply # 1481291 29-Jan-2016 15:41
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freitasm: After making her wait a few minutes I loaded had a pr0n video site, turned speakers at max volume and started playing one of the movies.

 

Is that what they call "promiscuous mode"?  I hope there were no children nearby!

 

I usually just make up some gobbledegook by combining random technical terms into nonsensical sentences, e.g.: "I'm just waiting for the modem to finish load balancing so I can synchronise my network and telnet into the VPN" and "Do I need to uplink the reverse DNS lookup results to the static IP table or can I just re-route the subnet through the short haul gateway?" They usually swear and hang up in about two minutes.


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Ultimate Geek
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  Reply # 1481321 29-Jan-2016 16:00
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Some I know kept them on the line for three hours, I get sick of it after 3 minutes and hang up.

 

I do like the scoring system and will try harder.

 

I might also have another router to isolate traffic off my network ( mine can not do VLAN ) and pull out my old junker when they call.





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  Reply # 1481324 29-Jan-2016 16:04
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Another reason I love not having a landline :-)





When you live your life on Twitter and Facebook, and are only friends with like minded people on Twitter and Facebook, you are not living in the real world. You are living in a narcissistic echo chamber.

 


My thoughts are my own and are in no way representative of my employer.


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  Reply # 1481329 29-Jan-2016 16:12
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BurningBeard:

 

frankv:5 points for each time they swear at you 

 

 

 

Hee hee...

 

"F___ you buddy" was the last thing the guy said before he hung up on me last time I had one.

 

 

 

I told him I ordered my Lamb Korma and Garlic Naan three hours ago and he was taking too long.

 

I know that might look/sound racist but when you try to rip me off, all courtesies and pleasantries go out the window.

 

 

Yep, these lowlifes ripped off an elderly relative of mine to the tune of $200 so they deserve as much abuse as they get

 

Unfortunately they never seem to ring me, it would be good sport to string them along for as long as possible


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  Reply # 1481335 29-Jan-2016 16:24
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I got a call from these guys about a week ago to tell me I had viruses on my Windows.

 

I told them to wait while I got the spray 'n' wipe and a cloth to clean the viruses off my windows.  They hung up immediately.

 

Some people have no sense of humour... ;)


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