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Topic # 194963 1-Apr-2016 00:17
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I don't recall too much, except as a kid my parents and grandparents used to sit around the TV and laugh so much!

 

A truly outstanding comedian. 

 

The world is a little less funny now. 

 

 

 

Rest in Peace!

 

 

 

Some of his funny lines: 

 

 

 

“West Mersea police announced tonight that they wish to interview a man wearing high heels and frilly knickers, but the Chief Constable said they must wear their normal uniforms.”

 

“After a series of crimes in the Glasgow area, Chief Inspector McTavish has announced that he’s looking for a man with one eye. If he doesn’t find him, he’s going to use both eyes.”

 

“We’ve just heard that in the English Channel, a ship carrying red paint has collided with a ship carrying purple paint. It is believed that both crews have been marooned.”

 

“A cement mixer has collided with a prison van on the Kingston bypass, motorists are told to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.”

 

“We’ve just heard that a juggernaut of onions has shed its load all over the M1. Motorists are advised to find a hard shoulder to cry on.”

 

“George Trimball, Blackpool’s longest serving deckchair attendant, was better tonight after collapsing at work today. It took five people 40 minutes to work out how to get him up again.”

 

“A vicar who rode his bike the wrong way up the M1 was asked how he managed to avoid an accident. He replied ‘God was with me’ and was furthered charged for riding two on a bike”

 


“In a drive to improve standards in service and hygiene, a West End hotel today dismissed a waiter for having his thumb in the soup. They also dismissed a topless waitress for two similar offences.”

 

“George Thrakes, the building contractor who was jailed last year for supplying millions of pounds worth of defective building materials to the Government, escaped from Wormwood Scrubs today when the front fell off.”

 

“We’ll also be discussing the bread shortage, with a woman who has been throwing IOUs to the ducks.”

 

 

 

Read more: http://www.scotsman.com/lifestyle/culture/theatre/10-of-ronnie-corbett-s-funniest-two-ronnies-news-headlines-1-3966691#ixzz44TjjjpcX
Follow us: @TheScotsman on Twitter | TheScotsmanNewspaper on Facebook


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  Reply # 1523648 1-Apr-2016 00:50
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Wow that is a bit of a shock. He lived a good long life. So many legends have died recently.  RIP


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  Reply # 1523662 1-Apr-2016 06:38
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Sorry!


 
 
 
 


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  Reply # 1523677 1-Apr-2016 07:53
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And it's goodnight from him...

 

 

 

As kids we absolutely looked forward to being able to stay up and watch The Two Ronnie. They were magic to us.

 

 

 

Such a loss, RIP Ronnie Corbett


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  Reply # 1523679 1-Apr-2016 08:00
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Goodbye Timsey


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  Reply # 1523680 1-Apr-2016 08:00
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I was shocked to see this this morning (along with the death of Andy "Thunderclap" Newman). It doesn't seem that long ago (maybe two years?) that I saw Ronnie Corbett on the Graham Norton Show and I thought he looked in pretty good health.

 

When the Two Ronnies were together Corbett always seemed less funny than Ronnie Barker but I wondered whether they fed Barker the best lines on the show because watching Corbett solo he was bloody hilarious.

 

“Tonight we will be talking to an out of work contortionist who says he can no longer make ends meet.”

 

“There was a fire at the main Inland Revenue office in London today, but it was put out before any serious good was done."

 

"My great-grandfather was killed at Custer’s Last Stand. He didn’t take part in any fighting; he was camping nearby and went over to complain about the noise."

 

"West London police wish to alert local residents about the activities of the infamous cross-eyed burglar. If you see this man staring in your windows, warn the people next door."

 

"For some time, my wife’s had this ridiculous idea that I’m playing too much golf. Actually, it came to a head at about 11.30 last night. She suddenly shouted at me: ‘Golf, golf, golf. All you ever think about is bloody golf!’ And I’ll be honest, it frightened the life out of me. I mean, you don’t expect to meet somebody on the 14th green at that time of night."


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  Reply # 1523780 1-Apr-2016 10:04
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As a kid the Two Ronnies was a must watch.

 

I always thought that "Wee Ronny's" monologue was a bit boring - to be fair kids have short attention spans.

 

I saw some of his old monologues recently and they were extremely funny - he was a very talented story teller. Just shows that kids don't know anything.

 

Yep - Appropriate use of the word Legend for Ronnie Corbett RIP





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  Reply # 1524290 1-Apr-2016 20:50
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The four candles skit us a classic one, and he recently did a remake with modern tech words, like eggsbox and blackberry

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  Reply # 1524308 1-Apr-2016 21:28
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mattwnz: The four candles skit us a classic one, and he recently did a remake with modern tech words, like eggsbox and blackberry

 

 

 

Four Candles cartoon tribute ........ http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/04/01/01/32B90E1500000578-3518325-image-m-11_1459471178927.jpg

 

 

 

Some good news for the criminal on the run who fell into a Combine Harvester last week ........ he will soon be out on bale !


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  Reply # 1524319 1-Apr-2016 22:00
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Here is a great sketch he did with Harry Enfield. Seems appropriate for this forum

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAG39jKi0lI






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  Reply # 1524572 2-Apr-2016 12:58
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"A fire in the Inland Revenue building was put out by firemen before it could do any good."

 

 

 

RIP Ronnie - "It's good night from him" for the last time.

 

I wonder how many Saturday nights growing up I sat in front of the TV watching the Two Ronnies and laughing like a drain. At times like this, I am eternally glad someone invented video tape so that these performances were not lost to history.






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  Reply # 1524606 2-Apr-2016 14:26
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"Thieves who stole all the toilets from the [somewhere] Police Station have not yet been apprehended. A Police spokesman says that they have nothing to go on".

 

 


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  Reply # 1524609 2-Apr-2016 14:52
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I didn't grow up with the Ronnies but I did become a fan when I lived in England. I am sorry they are gone. We seem to be losing a lot of irreplaceables at the moment.

 

 





I reject your reality and substitute my own. - Adam Savage
 


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  Reply # 1524613 2-Apr-2016 15:10
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singing: I've got a pair of bino-nacu-nocu-noculars, you can put them up ... on a tripod!

 

I went to see Cleese and Idle the other day, they mentioned the two Ronnies (before they were The Two Ronnies) when talking about their writing for various shows during the sixties.

 

It is truly the passing of an era. Kids today wouldn't believe you...

 

 


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  Reply # 1524688 2-Apr-2016 16:36
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roobarb:

 

singing: I've got a pair of bino-nacu-nocu-noculars, you can put them up ... on a tripod!

 

I went to see Cleese and Idle the other day, they mentioned the two Ronnies (before they were The Two Ronnies) when talking about their writing for various shows during the sixties.

 

It is truly the passing of an era. Kids today wouldn't believe you...

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was there also!






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