The dumbest Stuff or Herald headlines (& other news media)

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Ultimate Geek

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# 1986653 1-Apr-2018 08:03

NZHerald obviously DO NOT even read what they write!

(Probably actually get their personal news elsewhere.)

ENTERTAINMENT

Ed Sheeran feeds penguin chick, spots sea lion in Dunedin

31 Mar, 2018 6:22pm
Quick Read

The supermodel has described how her time in India helped her through her loss.

gzt

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# 1987351 2-Apr-2018 22:43

Nzh: "The near 'amazing coincidence' of Chinese space station crash"

Tldr; landed in ocean.

kingdragonfly

3352 posts

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# 1987723 3-Apr-2018 15:44

"What a 70kmh speed limit would mean for journey times in NZ

A major international report on road safety has recommended reducing speed limits on the open road to 70kmh.

The report looked at the impact of reduced average speeds on road crash and fatality rates in 10 countries and estimates that " ... a 10 per cent decrease in mean [average] speed leads to 20 per cent decrease in injury crashes and a 40 per cent decrease in fatal crashes."

It went on to recommend a speed limit of 70kmh on rural roads without a median barrier. The majority of New Zealand's roading network falls into this category.

If a 70kmh speed limit were introduced here it would help to curb our rising road toll, but the trade-off would be much slower journey times."

https://www.stuff.co.nz/motoring/news/102780781/what-would-a-70kmh-speed-limit-mean-for-journey-times-in-nz

According to the source report they mentioned, New Zealand is only mentioned once in the 80 pages.

Here it is

"The motorway network can be subject to frequent changes and political debates. In 2017, the general speed limits on non-urban motorways varied from 100 km/h (in Japan, New Zealand and Nigeria) to 140 km/h (in Poland). In Germany there is a recommended maximum speed of 130 km/h."

floydbloke

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# 1988805 5-Apr-2018 14:40

https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/beauty/102816366/kiwi-woman-teaches-others-how-to-steam-their-vaginaa

I guess this is a thing. I only copied the link, didn't click on it.

"I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road." - Stephen Hawking

eracode

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# 1988851 5-Apr-2018 16:23

One person supports this post

floydbloke:
https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/beauty/102816366/kiwi-woman-teaches-others-how-to-steam-their-vaginaa

I guess this is a thing. I only copied the link, didn't click on it.

Reminds me of the story about the GP who hired a newly-graduated Practice Nurse. When a male patient arrived with a large abscess on his upper inner thigh, the doctor asked the nurse to perform a treatment on the patient.

After a few minutes there was a loud commotion from the nurse’s room. The doctor rushed in to find the patient jumping up and down, screaming and holding his crotch.

“No, no, NO...” cried the doctor, “I said ‘prick his boil’!”

Sometimes I just sit and think. Other times I just sit.

Virgil

Dangerous Chocolate
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# 1994474 11-Apr-2018 21:53

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/lifestyle/news/article.cfm?c_id=6&objectid=12030695

Wash your towels in cold water ... at 60°C

Behodar

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# 1994485 11-Apr-2018 22:17

The article starts with "you're washing your towels wrong" and then suggests that I do what I'm already doing.

Geektastic

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# 1994498 11-Apr-2018 23:25

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floydbloke:

https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/beauty/102816366/kiwi-woman-teaches-others-how-to-steam-their-vaginaa

I guess this is a thing. I only copied the link, didn't click on it.

Sure.....

Geektastic

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# 1994499 11-Apr-2018 23:26

Behodar: The article starts with "you're washing your towels wrong" and then suggests that I do what I'm already doing.

I was going to say. How wrong can I get "The towels need washing, dear."?

tdgeek

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# 1994512 11-Apr-2018 23:44

I see this a lot. An article on a topic, today was the storm. So I click on it, there is a bullet point summary, cool. Good idea.

I see another storm article, specific title, I will read that, it goes to the same page.

tdgeek

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# 1994513 11-Apr-2018 23:49

Tonight

Latest News Headlines (smaller text) to the left

257 killed in plane crash this was 11pm

Larger text where the main headlines are

At least 100 die in plane crash also 11pm

Geektastic

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# 1996015 14-Apr-2018 12:57

"A woman was trapped when her car was hit by a fallen tree."

No. She wasn't.

Behodar

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# 1996016 14-Apr-2018 13:00

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A falling tree can hit a car, and a car can hit a fallen tree, but how can a fallen tree hit anything, let alone a car?

mattwnz

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# 1996044 14-Apr-2018 13:53

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Behodar:

A falling tree can hit a car, and a car can hit a fallen tree, but how can a fallen tree hit anything, let alone a car?

People writing articles for the media do tend to be very young. I know someone with a blog who writes articles who is very young, and their grasp of the english language isn't great.

The word fallen(past tense), or even falling (present tense) shouldn't have been used in the line at all. I was never good at English myself, but even I know that you can't be hit by something that is fallen, as it has already fallen.

Geektastic

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# 1996105 14-Apr-2018 15:42

4 people support this post

mattwnz:

Behodar:

A falling tree can hit a car, and a car can hit a fallen tree, but how can a fallen tree hit anything, let alone a car?

People writing articles for the media do tend to be very young. I know someone with a blog who writes articles who is very young, and their grasp of the english language isn't great.

The word fallen(past tense), or even falling (present tense) shouldn't have been used in the line at all. I was never good at English myself, but even I know that you can't be hit by something that is fallen, as it has already fallen.

What does age have to do with it? I passed English Language O Level, an exam intended for 16 year olds, when I was 13. With an A.

If you are hiring people to write articles in English, in an English language newspaper, I would have thought that excellent written English was a necessary requirement of the successful candidate.

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