Geekzone: technology news, blogs, forums
Guest
Welcome Guest.
You haven't logged in yet. If you don't have an account you can register now.
Filter this topic showing only the reply marked as answer View this topic in a long page with up to 500 replies per page Create new topic
1 | ... | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17
956 posts

Ultimate Geek
+1 received by user: 222

Trusted
Subscriber

  Reply # 1876080 2-Oct-2017 13:18
2 people support this post
Send private message quote this post

It's my wife's birthday coming up - she asked me to get her something for the bath.

 

 

 

I bought a toaster...





Procrastination eventually pays off.


956 posts

Ultimate Geek
+1 received by user: 222

Trusted
Subscriber

  Reply # 1876084 2-Oct-2017 13:21
Send private message quote this post

My wife and I would have split years ago if it wasn't for the kids.

 

 

 

She wouldn't have them and neither would I.





Procrastination eventually pays off.


956 posts

Ultimate Geek
+1 received by user: 222

Trusted
Subscriber

  Reply # 1876085 2-Oct-2017 13:22
Send private message quote this post

My wife says I don't listen.

 

 

 

At least I think that's what she said!





Procrastination eventually pays off.


956 posts

Ultimate Geek
+1 received by user: 222

Trusted
Subscriber

  Reply # 1876086 2-Oct-2017 13:23
Send private message quote this post

There are 10 types of people in the world.

 

 

 

Those who understand binary and those who do not.





Procrastination eventually pays off.


956 posts

Ultimate Geek
+1 received by user: 222

Trusted
Subscriber

  Reply # 1876087 2-Oct-2017 13:25
Send private message quote this post

Are there any Germans on this thread?

 

 

 

Let's have a show of Hans.





Procrastination eventually pays off.


956 posts

Ultimate Geek
+1 received by user: 222

Trusted
Subscriber

  Reply # 1876090 2-Oct-2017 13:26
Send private message quote this post

I found a word spelt 'incorrectly' in the dictionary the other day.

 

http://bit.ly/2wsuz6C

 

 





Procrastination eventually pays off.


956 posts

Ultimate Geek
+1 received by user: 222

Trusted
Subscriber

  Reply # 1876092 2-Oct-2017 13:28
Send private message quote this post

They've apparently taken gullible out of the dictionary.

 

 

 

True have a look: http://bit.ly/2fC98cg 

 

 





Procrastination eventually pays off.


12029 posts

Uber Geek
+1 received by user: 3910

Trusted
Lifetime subscriber

  Reply # 1876403 2-Oct-2017 22:21
One person supports this post
Send private message quote this post

Winston Peters walks into a bar...oh, no, sorry - that wasn't a joke.






2938 posts

Uber Geek
+1 received by user: 841

Subscriber

  Reply # 1876489 3-Oct-2017 08:32
One person supports this post
Send private message quote this post

Geektastic:

 

Winston Peters walks into a bar...oh, no, sorry - that wasn't a joke.

 

 

 

 

He doesn't need to walk into a bar to be a joke.


5216 posts

Uber Geek
+1 received by user: 2123


  Reply # 1876548 3-Oct-2017 10:25
2 people support this post
Send private message quote this post

A woman says to her husband "I wish my breasts were bigger"

 

He says "Rub toilet paper between them every day"

 

She says "How will that make them bigger?"

 

He says "I don't really know, but it's worked on your butt"





Mike

5216 posts

Uber Geek
+1 received by user: 2123


  Reply # 1876555 3-Oct-2017 10:29
Send private message quote this post

Skeleton walks into a bar an orders a beer and a mop.

 

Arial walks into bar and orders a Chardonnay.  The bar tender look at her and says "I'm sorry, we don't serve your type in here"

 

Horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face"

 

 





Mike

5216 posts

Uber Geek
+1 received by user: 2123


  Reply # 1876558 3-Oct-2017 10:31
Send private message quote this post

Why was the mushroom always invited to parties: Because he was a fun-guy.





Mike

12029 posts

Uber Geek
+1 received by user: 3910

Trusted
Lifetime subscriber

  Reply # 1876599 3-Oct-2017 12:02
One person supports this post
Send private message quote this post

A woman walks into the rooftop bar of a posh hotel and sees a man drinking on his own who is very handsome.

 

She walks up, takes the stool next to him and says "Hi, I'm Jane. What are you drinking?"

 

"Hi. Magic beer."

 

"Magic beer? Magic how?"

 

"I'll show you." The man gets up, walks to the parapet, jumps over and flies round the building twice before landing on his stool.

 

"Wow! I'll have magic beer too!" says Jane.

 

She necks it in one, walks over to the parapet, jumps off and plunges 40 storeys to her death.

 

The bar tender says..."Superman, you are one mean drunk!"






1746 posts

Uber Geek
+1 received by user: 356

Trusted

  Reply # 1877816 5-Oct-2017 12:01
One person supports this post
Send private message quote this post

Very nervous first time bank robber races into the bank and yells:

 

"Air in the hands, motherstickers,

 

This is a fcuk-up !"





My thoughts are no longer my own and is probably representative of our media-controlled government


696 posts

Ultimate Geek
+1 received by user: 249


  Reply # 1879223 7-Oct-2017 21:16
Send private message quote this post

did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

 

 

 

He worked it out with a pencil.

 

 


1 | ... | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17
Filter this topic showing only the reply marked as answer View this topic in a long page with up to 500 replies per page Create new topic

Twitter »

Follow us to receive Twitter updates when new discussions are posted in our forums:



Follow us to receive Twitter updates when news items and blogs are posted in our frontpage:



Follow us to receive Twitter updates when tech item prices are listed in our price comparison site:



Geekzone Live »

Try automatic live updates from Geekzone directly in your browser, without refreshing the page, with Geekzone Live now.



Are you subscribed to our RSS feed? You can download the latest headlines and summaries from our stories directly to your computer or smartphone by using a feed reader.

Alternatively, you can receive a daily email with Geekzone updates.