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  Reply # 1628074 12-Sep-2016 18:46
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Why don't clams donate to charity?

 

 

 

They are shellfish


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  Reply # 1628075 12-Sep-2016 18:50
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Herr Doktor, ich hab jeden Morgen um 7 Uhr Stuhlgang!”

 

“Ja, das ist doch sehr gut!”  

 

“Aber ich steh erst um halb acht auf!”


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  Reply # 1628083 12-Sep-2016 18:54
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A man loses his willy - covered by insurance. Plastic Surgeon says 'Small one $x, medium one $xx, big one $xxx'.

 

Two months later, Doc sees the guy in the street. 'Hey man, you never came back to me - what happened?'

 

'Ah, we decided to renovate the kitchen'.


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  Reply # 1628084 12-Sep-2016 18:56
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It's ok to kiss a nun, provided that you don't get into the habit.


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  Reply # 1628086 12-Sep-2016 18:59
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Fred99:

 

Herr Doktor, ich hab jeden Morgen um 7 Uhr Stuhlgang!”

 

“Ja, das ist doch sehr gut!”  

 

“Aber ich steh erst um halb acht auf!”

 

 

Crap joke. 


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  Reply # 1628116 12-Sep-2016 19:42
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tecnam2003:

Elephant stomping though the jungle comes upon a mouse


 


looking down the elephant says


 


"Why am I so big and you so small?"


 


looking up the mouse replied


 


"Ive not been well"


 



I don't get it.

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  Reply # 1628132 12-Sep-2016 19:56
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Fred99:

 

Herr Doktor, ich hab jeden Morgen um 7 Uhr Stuhlgang!”

 

“Ja, das ist doch sehr gut!”  

 

“Aber ich steh erst um halb acht auf!”

 

 

Better late than never!


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  Reply # 1628137 12-Sep-2016 20:04
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Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader are in the middle of a furious light saber duel, the outcome of which will decide the fate of the galaxy.

 

The fight has raged backwards and forwards for several minutes, but at last it appears that Luke has the upper hand. He pins Vader against the wall.

 

Suddenly, Vader rasps, "Luke; I know what you're getting for Christmas."

 

"Noo!" Luke demands: "How could you possibly know that?"

 

To which Vader says, "I felt your presents."


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  Reply # 1628148 12-Sep-2016 20:27
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What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?

 

 

 

 Attire

 

 

 

---

 

How many grams of protein are in a slice of Pie?

 

 

 

3.1415926...


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  Reply # 1628163 12-Sep-2016 20:48
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overheard: man complains to friend that there are too many nuns around.

 

Nun: Well why don't you go to hell, there aren't any nuns there.





Swype on iOS is detrimental to accurate typing. Apologies in advance.


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  Reply # 1628165 12-Sep-2016 20:49
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eracode:

 

Fred99:

 

Herr Doktor, ich hab jeden Morgen um 7 Uhr Stuhlgang!”

 

“Ja, das ist doch sehr gut!”  

 

“Aber ich steh erst um halb acht auf!”

 

 

Crap joke. 

 

 

I don't get this





Swype on iOS is detrimental to accurate typing. Apologies in advance.


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  Reply # 1628167 12-Sep-2016 20:54
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When my niece was 5 she invented this joke...

 

What do you call a horse with 100 legs?

 

- Stable.





Life is too short to remove USB safely.


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  Reply # 1628183 12-Sep-2016 21:18
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joker97:

 

eracode:

 

Fred99:

 

Herr Doktor, ich hab jeden Morgen um 7 Uhr Stuhlgang!”

 

“Ja, das ist doch sehr gut!”  

 

“Aber ich steh erst um halb acht auf!”

 

 

Crap joke. 

 

 

I don't get this

 

 

Google Translate ist dein Freund


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  Reply # 1628191 12-Sep-2016 21:32
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What's brown and sticky?

 

A stick.


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  Reply # 1628206 12-Sep-2016 22:05
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froob:

 

What's brown and sticky?

 

A stick.

 

 

 

 

Nah - a stick's what you call a boomerang that won't come back.


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