Silly joke thread

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Networkn
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#3215343 7-Apr-2024 20:11

Why don't boxers have sex the night before a fight ?

Because they just don't really like each other.

What do you call an IT Teacher who touches his students?

A PDF File

floydbloke

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#3221047 21-Apr-2024 15:39

What I if told you

you the read first line wrong?

Same the with second line

and also the third.

Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not ****ing blue!

Tinkerisk

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#3221062 21-Apr-2024 16:24

floydbloke:

What I if told you

you the read first line wrong?

Same the with second line

and also the third.

Which line? If you tell me something, I can hear it, but that doesn't mean I can read it. 😉

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networkn

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#3221690 23-Apr-2024 09:22

So a couple have been married for 35 Years, but the man had never allowed his wife to look in their family safe.

One day when he went out for some fresh air, she decided to look in the safe. When he got home she confronted him.

"I looked in the safe" She said.

"I've told you never to look in there"

"I saw $40,000 and 3 Eggs. I understand the money, but what are the eggs ?

"Well, everytime I sleep with another mans wife, I put an egg in the safe"

She looks shocked, but surmises to him that 3 times in 35 years isn't that bad.

He says to her "in the interests of being up front, when I get a dozen eggs, I sell them at the market, and that's where the money came from"

networkn

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#3222126 24-Apr-2024 11:16

The frugal man walked into the house panting and almost completely exhausted. “What happened, Honey?” asked his wife.

“It’s a great new idea I have,” he gasped. “I ran all the way home behind the bus and saved $1.50 cents.”

“That wasn’t too smart,” replied his wife. “Why didn’t you run behind a taxi and save ten dollars?”

johno1234

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#3223863 29-Apr-2024 07:43

How many engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Engineers only change dark bulbs.

Rikkitic

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#3223876 29-Apr-2024 08:37

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. It's a hardware problem.

(Credit to Leisure Suit Larry)

Plesse igmore amd axxept applogies in adbance fir anu typos

MadEngineer

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#3224257 29-Apr-2024 18:22

johno1234:

How many engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Engineers only change dark bulbs.

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Bulbs grow in the garden.

You're not on Atlantis anymore, Duncan Idaho.

Tinkerisk

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#3227543 8-May-2024 00:04

I think I accidentally deleted the whole internet.

networkn

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#3229606 13-May-2024 10:13

We had a bit of a laugh at the office today when one of my staff was talking about teaching his son to catch a bus.

I couldn't help myself and said I was surprised he didn't start with something smaller.

eracode

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#3230057 14-May-2024 08:28

I saw a mate recently and he had a black eye. I asked why and he said:

“I went to church yesterday. When we all stood up to sing, I noticed the lady in the pew in front of me had the back of her dress caught in the cleft of her butt cheeks.

I was sure she wouldn't want it to be like that so I reached over and gently pulled it out. She felt this and turned right around and glared at me - and I thought 'oh, she prefers it tucked in'.

So the next time we stood up, I thought I'd make amends and do her a favour - so I leaned over and very … gently … pushed ... it ... back ... in.

And that’s how it all ….”

Sometimes I just sit and think. Other times I just sit.