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1019 posts

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  # 1694487 23-Dec-2016 23:21
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Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9.

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  # 1694868 25-Dec-2016 12:01
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What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve.

 
 
 
 


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  # 1694875 25-Dec-2016 12:34
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What do you do if you see a spaceman?

 

 

 

Park in it, man.






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  # 1714176 1-Feb-2017 21:00
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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are sitting at a bar and each order a pint of beer. All three pints arrive with a fly floating in them.

 

The Englishman demands a fresh pint of beer from the bartender.

 

The Irishman shrugs and drinks it any way.

 

The Scotsman shouts "spit it back out, ya bastard!"


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  # 1714724 2-Feb-2017 21:59
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translated from Russian:

 

"While visiting daughter asked her for a newspaper. It is 21 Century, Dad - use my iPad, she said. Well, the fly did not realised what killed it ...


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  # 1812825 4-Jul-2017 19:27
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The wife's birthday was coming up and I asked her what she'd like. She said "something compact and shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about three seconds."

 


So I got her some bathroom scales. The doctors say that I'll probably walk again one day.


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  # 1821893 13-Jul-2017 14:01
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My colleague asked me for a joke to cheer her up yesterday, so I turned this thread (thanks!) as my brain went completely blank.  She returned the favour this morning with this:

 

"Why does the Swedish navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?

 

So when they come back into port, they can Scandinavian."

 

 


 
 
 
 


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  # 1821902 13-Jul-2017 14:19
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A neutron walked into a bar and ordered a beer/

 

 

 

"How much for the beer?"

 

 

 

"For you, no charge."






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  # 1821903 13-Jul-2017 14:19
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Lizard1977:

 

My colleague asked me for a joke to cheer her up yesterday, so I turned this thread (thanks!) as my brain went completely blank.  She returned the favour this morning with this:

 

"Why does the Swedish navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?

 

So when they come back into port, they can Scandinavian."

 

 

 

 

 

 

My wife my office had a great laugh (and groan) at this. Thanks, awesome. 

 

 


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  # 1821934 13-Jul-2017 14:55
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Eye test chart for pirates


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  # 1822726 15-Jul-2017 08:00
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I tell Dad Jokes, but I have no kids.

 

I'm a faux pa.


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  # 1829037 25-Jul-2017 12:45
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I could tell you a joke about UDP, but I don't know if you'd get it.  


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  # 1829041 25-Jul-2017 12:48
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timmmay:

 

I could tell you a joke about UDP, but I don't know if you'd get it.  

 

 

Heh, that made me laugh. I know of a backup product called UDP that's a joke too.


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Ultimate Geek


  # 1829126 25-Jul-2017 14:55
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timmmay:

 

I could tell you a joke about UDP, but I don't know if you'd get it.  

 

 

Now that is a geeky joke !


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  # 1829129 25-Jul-2017 14:58
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Geek starts job at McDonalds. A customer asked him for a Big Mac and he gave him a bit of paper with FF:FF:FF:FF:FF:FF written on it.

 

 


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