Geekzone: technology news, blogs, forums
Guest
Welcome Guest.
You haven't logged in yet. If you don't have an account you can register now.


View this topic in a long page with up to 500 replies per page Create new topic
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11
19552 posts

Uber Geek
+1 received by user: 5876

Trusted
Lifetime subscriber

  Reply # 1986749 1-Apr-2018 12:28
4 people support this post
Send private message

What has been excellent about this thread is the lack of judgement. Long may it last. Everyone is talking about what is right for them.


5366 posts

Uber Geek
+1 received by user: 1412

Moderator
Trusted
Lifetime subscriber

  Reply # 1986763 1-Apr-2018 12:37
4 people support this post
Send private message

@networkn wish that was the case offline.  The number of friends/family with kids who constantly make "you'll be next" comments or judge us because they think we're somehow unfulfilled is annoyingly large.  My wife's just taken to saying "My insides are all wrong" anytime someone brings it up now lol


 
 
 
 


19552 posts

Uber Geek
+1 received by user: 5876

Trusted
Lifetime subscriber

  Reply # 1986764 1-Apr-2018 12:50
3 people support this post
Send private message

gehenna:

 

@networkn wish that was the case offline.  The number of friends/family with kids who constantly make "you'll be next" comments or judge us because they think we're somehow unfulfilled is annoyingly large.  My wife's just taken to saying "My insides are all wrong" anytime someone brings it up now lol

 

 

Yeah, I think as humans we have largely conditioned that our primary purpose is reproduction, some people have a hard time understanding others choices. I am working hard on tolerance in all parts of my life, some things I find harder than others. Other peoples choices not to have kids is not an area I struggle with, however, I sometimes feel compelled to comment, if someone talks about how horrible kids are. 

 

I always wanted kids, but once I got into my career I got less interested. My wife was all about the kids, and we had them, and they are the best thing I ever did, but I completely understand why others might not choose to do it. 

 

My heart breaks for those who want kids and can't have them. 


1231 posts

Uber Geek
+1 received by user: 60


  Reply # 1986767 1-Apr-2018 12:57
2 people support this post
Send private message

Abridged version is I always wanted kids, but after leaving school 6 years was "wasted" at uni, single while concentrating on my studies...

Then 6 more years down in a long term relationship where we both wanted kids, however I wanted to be married first, and she didn't believe in marriage, so 6 years of both of us waiting for the other to change standpoint, until the impasse caused us to split so she could find someone else...

Then 6 more years in 2 relationships with infertile women...

Now I feel I'm too old, not biologically, but I just don't feel it's fair on my potential kid to miss out on ever knowing his family, at least on my side.

Like others have mentioned and i think I'll start a thread on it later, my marriage and engagement before that in my view were ruined by the relationship properties act, and I'd love a partner but am to scared of the risk.

12560 posts

Uber Geek
+1 received by user: 4157

Trusted
Lifetime subscriber

  Reply # 1986830 1-Apr-2018 15:56
One person supports this post
Send private message

One of my brothers had his first (and to date only) child when he was 44 or thereabouts.

One of my other brothers had two in his early 20's and he found it hilarious that one of us was starting so old. The idea of being 60 ish with an 18 year old doesn't strike me as fun. YMMV of course!







4697 posts

Uber Geek
+1 received by user: 2644

Trusted

  Reply # 1986842 1-Apr-2018 16:18
Send private message

That randy old goat Mick Jagger recently sired a kid and he's in his 70s! yell


824 posts

Ultimate Geek
+1 received by user: 197


  Reply # 1986843 1-Apr-2018 16:18
Send private message

billgates: We lost our first baby few months ago to stillborn birth at full 9 months. Everyday feels like that it was a cruel joke.

 

 

 

I'm sorry man. That is a terrible thing to go through.


693 posts

Ultimate Geek
+1 received by user: 125


  Reply # 1986929 1-Apr-2018 18:34
One person supports this post
Send private message

tdgeek: just happened. Not sure how...

 

 

Um, really?  I thought most people know how by age 13 if not earlier. GD knows how and she is 10. Not the nitty gritty but the overall concept.

 

 

 

People, or should I say women? Seem to think it's a must and very clever to do. Judging by the ridiculous comments that get said when it happens. As if any rabbit can't do better....

 

100 years ago you might have an excuse, but these days? There's contraception.

 

 

 

I had one "by accident". Mainly cause husband being married before was told he couldn't so we didn't try prevention.

 

After I did and that was it.

 

 

 

Quite easy really, took no effort at all.

 

 

 

Loads of people kept saying when is the next like it's a customary thing and oh but he'll be <assorted problem> if you don't.

 

 

 

Well no, we found it worked quite well, he had plenty of playmates and when any fights broke out he moved on to the next, they didn't share the house with him.

 

Hi mates siblings however, demonstrated plenty of reasons why it was a lot more pleasant for him.  Nothing drastic happened, he grew up, got work, geot the GF, avoided breeding for quite some time until she did the now or never thing and now there is a grandchild. Just one.

 

I had friends who remained childless, they liked to travel, go out a lot, have plenty of money and long sleep ins on the weekends. They did have pets.

 

Other friends had no pets or kids. Ditto. They are both the well off couples then and still now.

 

 

 

With the current population I see no need for so much breeding. People might appreciate kids more if there were a shortage, and less abuse might occur. (Or not, we're not the best species).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


19552 posts

Uber Geek
+1 received by user: 5876

Trusted
Lifetime subscriber

  Reply # 1986931 1-Apr-2018 18:40
2 people support this post
Send private message



Like others have mentioned and i think I'll start a thread on it later, my marriage and engagement before that in my view were ruined by the relationship properties act, and I'd love a partner but am to scared of the risk.

 

 

 

I'd caution you on making a thread unless you are prepared to hear the good bad and ugly of others opinions of a situation you are unlikely to be able to communicate fully and effectively via this forum.

 

I don't mean that to sound disrespectful, but often I see these sort of posts with the OP hoping they will get sympathy, and advice which confirms their own bias and often that doesn't happen. Posters can come away disillusioned about "their community". 

 

You are obviously an adult, so do what feels right, but I'm saying prepare yourself as you could end up with unexpected results. 

 

 


15358 posts

Uber Geek
+1 received by user: 2984
Inactive user


  Reply # 1986933 1-Apr-2018 18:44
Send private message

pctek:

 

tdgeek: just happened. Not sure how...

 

 

Um, really?  I thought most people know how by age 13 if not earlier. GD knows how and she is 10. Not the nitty gritty but the overall concept.

 

 

 

 

I wasn't serious, just light hearted


15358 posts

Uber Geek
+1 received by user: 2984
Inactive user


  Reply # 1986934 1-Apr-2018 18:46
Send private message

Geese: Abridged version is I always wanted kids, but after leaving school 6 years was "wasted" at uni, single while concentrating on my studies...

Then 6 more years down in a long term relationship where we both wanted kids, however I wanted to be married first, and she didn't believe in marriage, so 6 years of both of us waiting for the other to change standpoint, until the impasse caused us to split so she could find someone else...

Then 6 more years in 2 relationships with infertile women...

Now I feel I'm too old, not biologically, but I just don't feel it's fair on my potential kid to miss out on ever knowing his family, at least on my side.

Like others have mentioned and i think I'll start a thread on it later, my marriage and engagement before that in my view were ruined by the relationship properties act, and I'd love a partner but am to scared of the risk.

 

There were a couple of comments earlier about contracting out to avoid that. 


579 posts

Ultimate Geek
+1 received by user: 111


  Reply # 1986939 1-Apr-2018 19:02
One person supports this post
Send private message

How can one talk (or start a thread) about something he never can/likes to/wants to/will experience? I respect this decision or fate, but - all said.





No backup, no pity. Anyway, RAID isn't one.


12560 posts

Uber Geek
+1 received by user: 4157

Trusted
Lifetime subscriber

  Reply # 1986976 1-Apr-2018 22:02
Send private message

DarthKermit:

 

That randy old goat Mick Jagger recently sired a kid and he's in his 70s! yell

 

 

 

 

True. However he can cheerfully pay all manner of people to parent the child for him...!






393 posts

Ultimate Geek
+1 received by user: 218


  Reply # 1987216 2-Apr-2018 16:16
Send private message

I'm 43, my wife is 45 and we've been married for 16 years. We both knew early on that kids would never be in our future. There's never been a regret, or a what if, or a maybe we should have. We don't know anyone else our age that don't have kids. 

 

We used to get a bit of pressure from both sets of parents after getting married but that eventually abated. It never gets discussed amongst our friends.


3625 posts

Uber Geek
+1 received by user: 2117

Trusted
Lifetime subscriber

  Reply # 1987223 2-Apr-2018 16:57
One person supports this post
Send private message

billgates: We lost our first baby few months ago to stillborn birth at full 9 months. Everyday feels like that it was a cruel joke.

 

It happens more than I think most of us realise. We lost two in the early stages, and one in the later stages of pregnancy on the way, and a good friend of mine also lost his firstborn at full term, so I understand some of what that must feel like. I'm guessing the hospital probably put you in touch with them, but I highly recommend making contact with SANDS





Information wants to be free. The Net interprets censorship as damage and routes around it.


1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11
View this topic in a long page with up to 500 replies per page Create new topic


Donate via Givealittle


Twitter »

Follow us to receive Twitter updates when new discussions are posted in our forums:



Follow us to receive Twitter updates when news items and blogs are posted in our frontpage:



Follow us to receive Twitter updates when tech item prices are listed in our price comparison site:





News »

Amazon introduces new Kindle with adjustable front light
Posted 21-Mar-2019 20:14


A call from the companies providing internet access for the great majority of New Zealanders, to the companies with the greatest influence over social media content
Posted 19-Mar-2019 15:21


Two e-scooter companies selected for Wellington trial
Posted 15-Mar-2019 17:33


GeForce GTX 1660 available now
Posted 15-Mar-2019 08:47


Artificial Intelligence to double the rate of innovation in New Zealand by 2021
Posted 13-Mar-2019 14:47


LG demonstrates smart home concepts at LG InnoFest
Posted 13-Mar-2019 14:45


New Zealanders buying more expensive smartphones
Posted 11-Mar-2019 09:52


2degrees Offers Amazon Prime Video to Broadband Customers
Posted 8-Mar-2019 14:10


D-Link ANZ launches D-Fend AC2600 Wi-Fi Router Protected by McAfee
Posted 7-Mar-2019 11:09


Slingshot commissions celebrities to design new modems
Posted 5-Mar-2019 08:58


Symantec Annual Threat Report reveals more ambitious, destructive and stealthy attacks
Posted 28-Feb-2019 10:14


FUJIFILM launches high performing X-T30
Posted 28-Feb-2019 09:40


Netflix is killing content piracy says research
Posted 28-Feb-2019 09:33


Trend Micro finds shifting threats require kiwis to rethink security priorities
Posted 28-Feb-2019 09:27


Mainfreight uses Spark IoT Asset Tracking service
Posted 28-Feb-2019 09:25



Geekzone Live »

Try automatic live updates from Geekzone directly in your browser, without refreshing the page, with Geekzone Live now.


Support Geekzone »

Our community of supporters help make Geekzone possible. Click the button below to join them.

Support Geezone on PressPatron



Are you subscribed to our RSS feed? You can download the latest headlines and summaries from our stories directly to your computer or smartphone by using a feed reader.

Alternatively, you can receive a daily email with Geekzone updates.