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  #2411444 2-Feb-2020 11:23
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Lias:

 

If asking nicely doesn't work because they are not nice reasonable people, and going to the police isn't an option, going the other way is.

 

Pay some other large hairy non nice people to *cough* have a quiet word *cough*

 

 

Some people really should engage the brain before engaging their fingers.

 

 


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  #2411448 2-Feb-2020 11:46
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As someone who has recently moved house to escape the hell of anti-social neighbours, I personally believe that it is naive to think that a 'friendly chat' will help. The behaviour of these people is a fundamental part of an entrenched lifestyle and they are not likely to change just because of a request from a neighbour. They may be receptive the first time you talk to them but they will always relapse back to their normal pattern of behaviour, and you will end up having the same conversation with them over and over again with both parties getting more and more aggravated each time.

 

Personally I would be talking to the landlord first and foremost, assuming you can find out who that is. If the property is managed directly by the landlord then they will hopefully do something about it. If it's managed by a property management company then have a cordial discussion with them and if they don't act then threaten to contact the property owner - property managers don't like it when their clients get surprises like this.

 

Can you describe your living situation? Is it a standalone house or a townhouse? Some housing developments have body corporate rules that can enforce penalties for illegal and disruptive behaviour.


 
 
 
 


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  #2411523 2-Feb-2020 13:18
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Probably a good time to ask if there are other issues, or just the second hand smoke.

The caravans situation sounds like maybe there is some transience and turnover is possible.

On the plus side it sounds like there may be an opportunity for the tenant/landlord to establish a smoking/social area well away from the kids bedrooms.

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  #2411525 2-Feb-2020 13:28
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@Lias:

 

Pay some other large hairy non nice people to *cough* have a quiet word *cough*

 

 

Pray tell, why violence would be a viable solution?





 

 

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  #2411561 2-Feb-2020 14:57
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Breath in and relax..... :)

 

Seriously though, we had neighbors who grew it and smoked it regularly on their deck - which was on the other side of the house but unfortunately the wind would quite often blow over our way and we could smell it strongly. 

 

They were good though, they knew we knew they were smoking it but didn't have an issue with it long as it didn't come onto our property (shared drive situation) and they apologized when they found out how strong it was on a windy day - they'd move further down the property on those days where it wasn't so bad.

 

Everyone I've ever known to smoke "pot" or just run into at concerts etc, have been perfectly friendly people and reasonable to deal with. If your lot aren't so friendly, I'd be concerned they're having something else along with the pot.

 

 





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  #2411565 2-Feb-2020 15:21
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freitasm:

@Lias:


Pay some other large hairy non nice people to *cough* have a quiet word *cough*



Pray tell, why violence would be a viable solution?



Sometimes violence is the only thing that people understand.

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  #2411575 2-Feb-2020 16:01
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People don’t ‘understand’ violence. They may be cowed by it, or enraged, or otherwise emotionally affected, but they will never understand it. All violence does is create an overwhelming desire to get even. This doesn’t solve anything at all. It just starts an  escalation. However big a club you can find, the other party can find a bigger one. The only place it ends is with someone’s death, and if you think that is a good idea, you are grievously mistaken (or maybe just very young).
 





I don't think there is ever a bad time to talk about how absurd war is, how old men make decisions and young people die. - George Clooney
 


 
 
 
 


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  #2411593 2-Feb-2020 16:43
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Rikkitic:

 

People don’t ‘understand’ violence. They may be cowed by it, or enraged, or otherwise emotionally affected, but they will never understand it. All violence does is create an overwhelming desire to get even. This doesn’t solve anything at all. It just starts an  escalation. However big a club you can find, the other party can find a bigger one. The only place it ends is with someone’s death, and if you think that is a good idea, you are grievously mistaken (or maybe just very young).
 

 

 

I disagree with your comment that people don't understand violence. Some understand it fine. In fact, any species who eats meat, understands it as part of their DNA.

 

I disagree that violence is the solution to this (or indeed almost any issue), and I consider it very irresponsible to suggest it as a resolution to this issue. The problem with violence is, it's easy to escalate to it, but much harder to de-escalate from it. Also, in any given situation it's unlikely you will understand the capability of your opponent and how proficient they are at it, so you are on a hiding to nothing either way. I presume the OP has considerably more common sense than to listen to such advice. 

 

Approaching the landlord would be my go to move, but explain you'd like them to be careful how they handle it, as you live next door, and any consequences of what he or she does, is likely to affect you directly. 

 

 

 

 


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  #2411597 2-Feb-2020 16:50
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If a thug clobbers a woman, and a bigger thug clobbers the first thug, I don't think the first thug thinks 'oh gee, that hurt. The poor woman.' 

 

 





I don't think there is ever a bad time to talk about how absurd war is, how old men make decisions and young people die. - George Clooney
 


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  #2411603 2-Feb-2020 17:03
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Dr Martin Luther King Jr said it the best:

 

“Violence never really deals with the basic evil of the situation. Violence may murder the murderer, but it doesn’t murder murder. Violence may murder the liar, but it doesn’t murder lie; it doesn’t establish truth. Violence may even murder the dishonest man, but it doesn’t murder dishonesty. Violence may go to the point of murdering the hater, but it doesn’t murder hate. It may increase hate. It is always a descending spiral leading nowhere. This is the ultimate weakness of violence: It multiplies evil and violence in the universe. It doesn’t solve any problems.”





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  #2411614 2-Feb-2020 17:26
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Rikkitic:

 

If a thug clobbers a woman, and a bigger thug clobbers the first thug, I don't think the first thug thinks 'oh gee, that hurt. The poor woman.' 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Correct, the first thug won't think of the person he clobbered BUT he will think of himself and will think "Oh gee that hurt". May be just maybe will also think "If I act like that again the bigger thug will clobber me again" and there will be more pain for him. Therefore he may decide the consequences aren't worth the bother and therefore may refrain from clobbering the next person. Just saying.

 

This "law of the jungle" has worked in the past. We consider ourselves more civilised today and this type of correction/retribution is no longer considered acceptable.





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  #2411622 2-Feb-2020 17:42
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What I believe is that those who do actually understand violence are those who understand the connections it creates. People who are professionally involved with violence, like the military and some police, do understand it. People who blindly resort to it as a weapon, usually don't. Understanding violence is understanding it in the way Martin Luther King did. It is understanding the power it creates in those who resist it. 

 

The problem with the thug who doesn't understand it is that he will not be put off by it. He will just try to find a way to avoid the immediate consequences of it. The reason civilised people reject the law of the jungle and no longer consider violent correction/retribution to be acceptable is because we have realised that violence victimises us all, not just the direct targets of it. 

 

 





I don't think there is ever a bad time to talk about how absurd war is, how old men make decisions and young people die. - George Clooney
 


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  #2411725 2-Feb-2020 21:28
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Here is the law of the jungle: Baby lions get killed by unrelated adult lions to prevent genetic competition. The ones who survive will attack other adult lions in battles for territory when they become adults. The most powerful get to breed for a few years. As they grow older and weaker, they are killed or driven away by stronger young ones who start the cycle again. Along the way other animals are killed for food or entertainment while the ones who do make it live in constant fear of ambush. 

 

In human terms the equivalent would be permanently standing guard over your children to keep them from being murdered by the neighbours, shooting everyone you see who might be a competitor, sleeping with one eye open at all times to guard your meagre store of food, regarding every stranger with suspicion and hostility, being unable to depend on anyone for help or support, being sent by your family into the wilderness to die when you are no longer able to contribute. It is scratching out an existence in hell after ecological collapse has sent everyone back to the stone age. No worries there about retirement or rest homes.

 

People who understand violence understand the above. Most don’t. They only think about being the one on top. They never imagine what it is like to be a slave, or how brief life at the top can be. These people do not understand violence. They only understand brutality.
 





I don't think there is ever a bad time to talk about how absurd war is, how old men make decisions and young people die. - George Clooney
 


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  #2411736 2-Feb-2020 22:31
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You could always call the police. Last time I checked, cannabis was illegal.






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  #2411977 3-Feb-2020 17:04
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If violence never settles anything, then why do we have armed forces and police forces that are deputized to use violence to keep the peace.  I don't think I could ever possibly put it better than Heinlein when he said:

 

"Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor, and the contrary opinion [that violence never settles anything] is wishful thinking at its worst. Breeds that forget this basic truth have always paid for it with their lives and their freedoms."

 

With regards to the OP's situation, people who live mostly within the bounds of a civilized society tend not to understand how things work among those who do not. It is entirely possible that violence and intimidation is the only language OP's neighbors understand. In some circles a debt of a few hundred dollars can get you killed, and most people in those circles understand that and consider that within the boundaries of a reasonable response.. Most people here probably do not. 





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