Help us have a family

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#1217219 18-Jan-2015 23:27

Aredwood: Being a sperm donor is something I might just consider. As I don't see myself ever getting into a long term relationship due to the stupid relationship property laws. Although I would have to do some research into the laws to do with child support. To make sure I wouldn't be be liable in that respect.

Although I agree with DathKermit, Surely you would have some male friends that you would at least know you better than everyone on GZ.

Neither the child nor the donor has any rights or liabilities in relationship to each other.

nathan

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#1217225 18-Jan-2015 23:31

curious to know why is there an 18 month waiting list?

Is there really that many more requests than donations? supply/demand?

<- genuine question

mattwnz

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#1217235 18-Jan-2015 23:45

nathan: curious to know why is their an 18 month waiting list?

Is there really that many more requests than donations? supply/demand?

<- genuine question

Do doners to these clinics get paid for their donation in New Zealand? Although there may not be any liability, the child may still want to track the donar down in the future.

nathan

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#1217243 19-Jan-2015 00:57

My understanding in NZ is you're not allowed to be paid.

nathan

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#1217246 19-Jan-2015 01:24

The child is allowed to request information on donor at age 18, or at 16/17 if they apply to the family court to be treated as an adult

whatarethey

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#1217287 19-Jan-2015 08:32

nathan: curious to know why is there an 18 month waiting list?

Is there really that many more requests than donations? supply/demand?

<- genuine question

I think it's not so much that there are huge numbers of people waiting (although there are a lot of us) - it's more that there are so few young guys ready to donate. Payment for donations in NZ is illegal, so the sole benefit to the donor (aside from spreading their genes) is the satisfaction that they have helped give someone else who desperately wants one, the opportunity to have a family.

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wasabi2k

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#1217326 19-Jan-2015 09:33

Best of luck to you in finding a donor.

rphenix

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#1217337 19-Jan-2015 09:45

wasabi2k: Best of luck to you in finding a donor.

Same here all the best.

Geektastic

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#1217444 19-Jan-2015 11:11

whatarethey:
nathan: curious to know why is there an 18 month waiting list?

Is there really that many more requests than donations? supply/demand?

<- genuine question

I think it's not so much that there are huge numbers of people waiting (although there are a lot of us) - it's more that there are so few young guys ready to donate. Payment for donations in NZ is illegal, so the sole benefit to the donor (aside from spreading their genes) is the satisfaction that they have helped give someone else who desperately wants one, the opportunity to have a family.

How is spreading your genes a benefit?

johnr

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#1217477 19-Jan-2015 11:31

nakedmolerat: Paging JohnR,

Paging JohnR,

Paging JohnR...

Been thru IVF before, Good to the OP hope it works out

Mark

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#1217478 19-Jan-2015 11:31

Geektastic:

How is spreading your genes a benefit?

Well in my case by reproducing I've increased the average IQ of the world!

;-)

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Glassboy

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#1217523 19-Jan-2015 12:52

Aredwood: Being a sperm donor is something I might just consider. As I don't see myself ever getting into a long term relationship due to the stupid relationship property laws. Although I would have to do some research into the laws to do with child support. To make sure I wouldn't be be liable in that respect.
.

You'r showing your ignorance of the law, but then again it sounds like it's just a convenient excuse. See

Property (Relationship) Act 1976, Part 6
http://www.legislation.govt.nz/act/public/1976/0166/latest/DLM441361.html

MileHighKiwi

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#1217531 19-Jan-2015 13:14

Aredwood: I don't see myself ever getting into a long term relationship due to the stupid relationship property laws.

What a strange way to view relationships! Each to their own....

To the OP, I don't think it's as simple as 'give me some sperm and I'll send you a photo of the baby'.

A gay couple I know went through this and it was a long and thorough process finding the right donor. Certainly wasn't as easy as just finding someone keen on a message board. I think you just need to go through the process with Fertility Associates. They are great, we had issues trying to conceive and were on the verge of IUI before finally falling pregnant. We now have a beautiful 3 month old daughter. She was worth the wait.

networkn

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#1217577 19-Jan-2015 13:59

What a strange way to view relationships! Each to their own....

To the OP, I don't think it's as simple as 'give me some sperm and I'll send you a photo of the baby'.

A gay couple I know went through this and it was a long and thorough process finding the right donor. Certainly wasn't as easy as just finding someone keen on a message board. I think you just need to go through the process with Fertility Associates. They are great, we had issues trying to conceive and were on the verge of IUI before finally falling pregnant. We now have a beautiful 3 month old daughter. She was worth the wait.

Congratulations! I know a couple who tried for 5 years to conceive before "giving up" and going IVF. They were all set for the treatments and the wife threw up in the car on the way there, TWINS!

DravidDavid

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#1217619 19-Jan-2015 14:34

networkn:
Congratulations! I know a couple who tried for 5 years to conceive before "giving up" and going IVF. They were all set for the treatments and the wife threw up in the car on the way there, TWINS!

That must have been the most incredible thing!

MileHighKiwi:
To the OP, I don't think it's as simple as 'give me some sperm and I'll send you a photo of the baby'.

It might not ultimately be that easy...But finding somebody keen has got to be the first step in the process, even if it is a baby step (pun absolutely intended).

I can relate to not having many friends that are male as a woman, only because as a male, I don't have many female friends. I don't find it unusual at all. In fact, if I was in this situation I'm not sure if I'd want the donation coming from a close friend.

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