Am I over-reacting here?

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152 posts

Master Geek

#563318 31-Dec-2011 17:56

Not that I can think of. Hmm... I have a dentist appointment on friday at 9, I could say they brought it forward maybe??

I was thinking more like "my aunt has died and I have to go to the other end of the country..see you in 2 weeks" :D

or....you can tactfully make it clear that the 'L' word is out of bounds especially since you havent met in person. If he is ignoring your request, then you need to make 'the' decision...... to stop everything right now before it goes any further.

(edit..Feel free to PM me if you want)

UrbanMyth

122 posts

Master Geek

#563450 1-Jan-2012 11:54

Hmmm

Sounds dodgy.

Sounds like he has dependency issues where he needs someone, and now you're it.

Tell him straight - he is freaking you out with his undying declarations of love etc and you haven't even met yet. Tell him you are feeling uneasy, and you think that anything between you both needs to end now.

You have already told him you don't like the love declarations and he is not taking the hint. Step up and say NO!!

Lying to him and saying you have an appointment is only going to postpone things, and you will either have to deal with it later when he has even more feelings for you; or go along with it and whatever may happen.

Be warned - the later you leave this; the more obsessed in you he may become.

Kaos36

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Ultimate Geek

#563461 1-Jan-2012 12:25

Your bf sounds very insecure I would dropped him like a bomb!

Talkiet

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#563479 1-Jan-2012 13:32

You asked for advice, and with the extra information the two of you had never met, you're receiving an avalanche of consistent recommendations to RUN AWAY.

I will add to that. Run Away.

There are very few interpersonal relationship situations so clear cut where there is a clearly RIGHT answer. This is one of those times.

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tardtasticx

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#564239 4-Jan-2012 10:46

Ok, so he hasn't spoken to me for the past 3 days which saves me from cancelling because no way in hell am I meeting him now.

I've text him each day, around twice, once in morning and once in evening. Every single message I've sent has been through iMessage, bar 2-3, and it has receipts on messages. Not even 2 mins after I send each message, the receipt changes from "delivered" to "read". I've said this and still get no reply. He doesn't reply to texts either so I MIGHT call him tonight and see if he answers, I have his landline phone and he shares a house so someone will deff. answer.

What should I do now if that doesn't change anything? Is it reasonable for me to break the relationship?

freitasm

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Geekzone

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#564242 4-Jan-2012 10:53

I am still not sure there's a relationship if you have not met before.

Talkiet

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#564243 4-Jan-2012 10:53

tardtasticx: [snip]

What should I do now if that doesn't change anything? Is it reasonable for me to break the relationship?

There's no relationship.

Cheers - N

Please note all comments are from my own brain and don't necessarily represent the position or opinions of my employer, previous employers, colleagues, friends or pets.

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heavenlywild

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#564245 4-Jan-2012 10:55

tardtasticx:
Is it reasonable for me to break the relationship?

The thing is, what relationship? There is no relationship in the first place if you haven't met him.

Don't waste your time. Like everyone else has said, run now, and move on. There's better people to spend your time with than this person, from what you have told us.

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keewee01

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#564246 4-Jan-2012 10:56

freitasm: I am still not sure there's a relationship if you have not met before.

+1 - nothing to break up, you're just acquaintances.

heavenlywild

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#564247 4-Jan-2012 10:56

freitasm: I am still not sure there's a relationship if you have not met before.

You and Talkiet are too quick! Ditto!

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SandyJ

152 posts

Master Geek

#564252 4-Jan-2012 11:06

Ok, so he hasn't spoken to me for the past 3 days which saves me from cancelling because no way in hell am I meeting him now.

Good, leave it at that and consider it over. He's not replying to your txts so that should tell you something.

Is it reasonable for me to break the relationship?

Hon, its already broken.

Dont ring him, he isnt replying to your txts, you havent spoken in 3 days its safe to say that this isnt going anywhere so theres no need to embarrass both yourself and him with an uncomfortable ph call. Let it die naturally and move on. (for all you know he may be back with his ex and he dosent know how to tell you)

At least now you know the warning signs with meeting someone online. No 'L' word until you have met and you grow into a normal relationship. Good luck.. :)

aw

286 posts

Ultimate Geek

#564371 4-Jan-2012 15:28

Yeah, move on. This person is *not* the only potential person you could go out with.

I'm gonna sound old saying this, but the trouble with young love is the emotions (and hormones) can cloud your judgement, and you may not be able to see a future beyond the "relationship" (whether real or perceived) you're grappling with, but trust me it's there. This feeling is incredibly strong for your first attempt at a relationship but trust me, you do get over it. Even if it takes the support of your friends to achieve it, be strong and move on.

Forget about this guy, don't bother trying to contact him, and move on.

And if he gets back to you in a week, a month, a year, just say you've moved on, assuming you decide to reply at all. I've heard this kind of story before, it sounds like he's either predatory, or a bit messed up in the head (possibly both) and you do NOT want to go there. Nor should he - intense relationships tend to make messed up people even more messed up.

networkn

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#564374 4-Jan-2012 15:40

tardtasticx: Decided to meet him in person, next Thursday. Obviously taking my best mate with me. He keeps using the 'L' word and its kinda annoying. Because I can't truly believe that hes serious about it and I've already told him to slow down with this. ><

Sorry to say but if you can't work this one out for yourself, you need more help than anyone here is likely qualified to give you.

You haven't met this guy and this is how it is, RUN AWAY.

Gilco2

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#564375 4-Jan-2012 15:40

take it from others. Run away. Have nothing to do with him. It will only bring you headaches and heartache. And there is no relationship to break. RUN While you can

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jeffnz

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#564377 4-Jan-2012 15:55

networkn:
tardtasticx: Decided to meet him in person, next Thursday. Obviously taking my best mate with me. He keeps using the 'L' word and its kinda annoying. Because I can't truly believe that hes serious about it and I've already told him to slow down with this. ><

Sorry to say but if you can't work this one out for yourself, you need more help than anyone here is likely qualified to give you.

You haven't met this guy and this is how it is, RUN AWAY.

I agree in fact I think this thread should be closed before it gets out of hand, I think it has been done to death.

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