Is working in IT making you less manly?

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#1094739 24-Jul-2014 10:45

Sitting on my butt for too much of the day doesn't do great things for my head.

I derive a great deal of pleasure from working with my hands during the weekend when I can, whether it is building a deck/fence, repairing one of the kids bikes, or some other little project.

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BTR

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#1094809 24-Jul-2014 11:31

dotnetdev:
BTR: While a lot of the previous replies are funny, if you aren't feeling yourself maybe talk to the doctor. You could have mild depression in which you need to get on top of sooner rather than later.

If you don't feel that blue maybe its time to get a new hobby, join a sports team or some other club thats not computer related. I like to spend my spare time working on cars.

BTR, I think your suggestions are spot on. I did have years of a form of depression until a couple of years ago, I related it to working in NZ's IT industry being too relaxed (at least in my projects, in which I often completed three-month projects in one or two months and had nothing to do later). I do actually have an old car that needs to be restored to working condition, which I've been thinking about for a long time but the idea hasn't eventuated - I think I will make a start now Thanks for the suggestions.

Glad to have helped and good on you for having to guts to ask a tough question and share personal challenges. I hope you are able to find something that you find enjoyable.

pctek

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#1095006 24-Jul-2014 14:56

(1) Instead of confronting an undesirable situation, e.g. by telling off a rude waiter, calling back a useless tradesman to finish a half-assed job, etc, I more tend to complain online or;

That's just the nature of methods of complaining chnaging.
Posting feedback online is more effective because future customers can read it too.

(2) Instead of making direct, clear face-to-face or phone communication, I more tend to use emails;

See above.

(4) Have become less handy at home, or in general more and more useless in other aspects of life other than IT, e.g. unwilling to repair a water pipe, just because half an hour's income from IT can hire a plumber to do the job, but reality is every man should do his own housekeeping things like repairing a water pipe.

That seems to be a general tend these days, most men can't do basic car repairs, basic carpentry, electruical, plumbing, DIY etc.
Nothing to do with working in IT.

Do you consider yourself less manly than your non-IT friends (e.g. tradesman, policeman, lawyer, etc).

I sure do but that is because I am female.

Dynamic

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#1095018 24-Jul-2014 15:23

pctek: (4) Have become less handy at home, or in general more and more useless in other aspects of life other than IT, e.g. unwilling to repair a water pipe, just because half an hour's income from IT can hire a plumber to do the job, but reality is every man should do his own housekeeping things like repairing a water pipe.

That seems to be a general tend these days, most men can't do basic car repairs, basic carpentry, electrical, plumbing, DIY etc.
Nothing to do with working in IT.

Looking under the bonnet of a modern car sends waves of uncertainty through the modern man. With all the bits than hang off a modern car engine, changing the oil of spark plugs is no longer a trivial task - assuming you can actually get to them.

Electrical regulations effectively ban the average male from doing anything more significant than changing a lightbulb. Not to mention insurance companies now looking for any excuse to decline a claim.

I know three people of an older generation who have built their own houses. No leaks. Everything is straight. Took ages in each case. All three of them did spectacular jobs. I would *love* to do that. Regulations now make that VERY difficult.

Every man needs a shed. Whether he closes his pink curtains and puts on lacey undies, or strips down an old Holden that in reality has a 10% chance of making it back together again, or carves wooden figurines, or builds and plays a MAME arcade machine, one shed per rent or mortgage-paying man of the house should be enshrined in law.

No girls allowed.

Unless they bring a drink or a cuddle or are interested in learning what he is doing.

“Don't believe anything you read on the net. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose.” Douglas Adams

MikeB4

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#1095020 24-Jul-2014 15:34

Actually my wife is brilliant at all sorts of stuff, she is great at IT(has more Certs than me), has no probs doing stuff on the cars ( we only ever check tyres fluids etc rest is done by the dealer) but I have seen her do oil changes on our SUV, replace brakek pads,change a full set of wheels etc etc use chain saws, weedeaters, mowers. Get on the roof and spray for moss etc, painting in fact anything that needs doing around the home. Then she can cook an awesome gourmet meal. Then in the morning puts on her suit etc and of to business.

Now I cant do most of the stuff anymore except the IT bits, accounts and dealing with idiots, getting dinner ready and other stuff.

Danm I am no longer manly, bugger

Here is a crazy notion, lets give peace a chance.

Dynamic

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#1095038 24-Jul-2014 15:54

*chuckle* KiwiNZ I don't know whether to congratulate you on finding such an incredibly capable woman, or to help you look for your stones.

Can I claim to be more manly than you? Absomumblemumble. (gotta go now sorry) hehe

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MikeB4

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#1095040 24-Jul-2014 15:57

Dynamic: *chuckle* KiwiNZ I don't know whether to congratulate you on finding such an incredibly capable woman, or to help you look for your stones.

Can I claim to be more manly than you? Absomumblemumble. (gotta go now sorry) hehe

Hahahaha

I lost my stones I think at the beach awhile back

She is awesome, I guess we are a good team, been together 37 years, 34 married. We were very young.

Here is a crazy notion, lets give peace a chance.

Dynamic

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#1095043 24-Jul-2014 16:02

KiwiNZ: I guess we are a good team, been together 37 years, 34 married. We were very young.

Wow... now that deserves congratulations.

My wife and I have been together 16 years. I reminder her now and then that I could have been out on early release for good behaviour by now, and I forget what her canned response is. She gives as good as she gets. :)

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turnin

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#1095325 25-Jul-2014 01:17

BTR: While a lot of the previous replies are funny, if you aren't feeling yourself maybe talk to the doctor. You could have mild depression in which you need to get on top of sooner rather than later.

If you don't feel that blue maybe its time to get a new hobby, join a sports team or some other club thats not computer related. I like to spend my spare time working on cars.

Cars ! you must have a different car to the one I work on.

Glassboy

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#1095487 25-Jul-2014 10:55

dotnetdev: Having worked as a software developer for about a decade, I consider myself less manly than before, e.g.

(1) Instead of confronting an undesirable situation, e.g. by telling off a rude waiter, calling back a useless tradesman to finish a half-assed job, etc, I more tend to complain online or;

(2) Instead of making direct, clear face-to-face or phone communication, I more tend to use emails;

You have social media poisoning, and you're probably naturally an introvert.

I prescribe X-Wing.

timmmay

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#1095492 25-Jul-2014 11:09

I lift. I talk to people in real life. I build things, I paint things, I fix things, I grow things. I think I'm good.

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BTR

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#1097896 29-Jul-2014 14:07

turnin:
BTR: While a lot of the previous replies are funny, if you aren't feeling yourself maybe talk to the doctor. You could have mild depression in which you need to get on top of sooner rather than later.

If you don't feel that blue maybe its time to get a new hobby, join a sports team or some other club thats not computer related. I like to spend my spare time working on cars.

Cars ! you must have a different car to the one I work on.

I have 4 so always doing maintenance of some sort weather its an oil change, brake pads or fluids. I have even done a couple of clutches and timing belts.

1101

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#1098443 30-Jul-2014 10:31

BTR:
I have 4 so always doing maintenance of some sort weather its an oil change, brake pads or fluids. I have even done a couple of clutches and timing belts.

I would think those in IT are more likely to 'have a go' themselves . Then they get older & see the folly .

I used to do alot of spannering when I was younger , everything from gearbox to sparkplugs. Cars were simple back then, and less reliable. Not so any more.
I also found that it takes me 5x as long as a 'real' mechanic/tradesman to do the same job, & they do it better, 1st time.
Doing something as a 1 off is allways going to take far to long compared to pro's who do that every day. So why bother. Id rather not waste my precious free time spannering.
Everything is going they way of either non-repairable, or too complex/illegal to do yourself. Cant even build a deck anymore without getting Resource Consents . Just 2 years ago couldnt even chop down non native trees without getting Resource Consents (only recently changed)

Same with 'gardening'/section maintainance ie weeding . It allways grows back within a month or so. Just cant win trying to beat nature , so I hoisted the white flag there as well.

I know people who are allways on the go, allways busy with this sort of thing after work. What sort of life is that ? My ex-neighbour is a good example , spent 30+ years hard at work every weekend on his house & section, . Now that he sold the house he regrets all that wasted time.

Dynamic

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#1098481 30-Jul-2014 11:24

1101: I would think those in IT are more likely to 'have a go' themselves . Then they get older & see the folly .

I used to do alot of spannering when I was younger , everything from gearbox to sparkplugs. Cars were simple back then, and less reliable. Not so any more.
I also found that it takes me 5x as long as a 'real' mechanic/tradesman to do the same job, & they do it better, 1st time.
Doing something as a 1 off is allways going to take far to long compared to pro's who do that every day. So why bother. Id rather not waste my precious free time spannering.
Everything is going they way of either non-repairable, or too complex/illegal to do yourself. Cant even build a deck anymore without getting Resource Consents . Just 2 years ago couldnt even chop down non native trees without getting Resource Consents (only recently changed)

Same with 'gardening'/section maintainance ie weeding . It allways grows back within a month or so. Just cant win trying to beat nature , so I hoisted the white flag there as well.

I know people who are allways on the go, allways busy with this sort of thing after work. What sort of life is that ? My ex-neighbour is a good example , spent 30+ years hard at work every weekend on his house & section, . Now that he sold the house he regrets all that wasted time.

I agree and disagree with you.

People generally (including me) spend too much time on their butt these days.

My yard would be one of the worst in the street in terms of how often the lawns are mowed, weeding, etc. I'm not particularly house-proud and I don't need a bowling-green lawn. I have better things to do. The kids might have more fun if the grass was up to their armpits. My favourite gardening tools are my chainsaw, my sprayer, my little flamethrower (for the dead weeds in the driveway and pavers) and my weed whacker. Maintenance on the house to protect the investment is definitely done when required, though often by paid tradesmen.

I do get pleasure from working with my hands on various projects, as a complete departure from my IT day job. My current two projects are completing a trailer (putting a frame/deck on a rolling chassis) and building a go kart for the kids (and me) that will be moved around with the aforementioned trailer. If I worked an extra few hours overtime and bought new ready to go trailer/go kart I would be better off time-wise. For me, that's not the point. I don't care if nobody else sees the benefit. I get pleasure from completing that little project and then being able to use what I have made.

Secondly, taking a kid to work with me doesn't spin anyone's wheels. Getting a kid to screw, hammer, drill, and nail with their parent or other adult does both parties good IMHO. Sometimes it stretches my patience when a nail takes 3 kids 50 whacks each to get completed and the timber around it looks like it has come from a warzone. Getting the job done quickly is not always the point of the exercise.

My opinion on Local Councils might get me blacklisted from GZ, so I won't go there.

“Don't believe anything you read on the net. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose.” Douglas Adams

1101

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#1098488 30-Jul-2014 11:34

Dynamic:
My favourite gardening tools are my chainsaw, my sprayer, my little flamethrower (for the dead weeds in the driveway and pavers) .

Tell me more about the flamethrower . Any good for those impossible to kill weeks & plants ?

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