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TRUMP REPLACES NIECE WITH KAYLEIGH MCENANY
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In the latest shakeup of his inner circle, Donald Trump has appointed White House press secretary Kayleigh McEnany, to the position of Niece.
With only a few months to go until the election, replacing family members could be seen as a sign of desperation, political insiders said.
But, according to a White House source, the decision to replace Mary Trump with McEnany was a “no-brainer.”
“The President wanted a niece who could rewrite history, and Kayleigh does that every day,” the source said.
McEnany will continue in her role as press secretary, and will henceforth refer to Trump as “Uncle.”
However, Mary Trump, while remaining a member of the Trump family, has been demoted from niece to third cousin.
Trump crowned? No faux King way!
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Militarized federal agents deployed by Donald Trump to Portland, Oregon, fired tear gas at protesters again late on Friday night, even as the city’s mayor demanded the agents be removed and the state’s attorney general vowed to seek a restraining order against them.
[...]
The Oregon attorney general, Ellen Rosenblum, said she would file a lawsuit in federal court against the US Department of Homeland Security (DHS), the Marshals Service, Customs and Border Protection, and Federal Protection Service, alleging they have violated the civil rights of Oregonians by detaining them without probable cause. She will also seek a temporary restraining order against them.
[...]
“Usually when we see people in unmarked cars forcibly grab someone off the street we call it kidnapping,“ said Jann Carson, ACLU interim executive director. “The actions of the militarized federal officers are flat-out unconstitutional and will not go unanswered.”
Holy *bleep*, if they tried that sort of stuff in some of the southern states they'd end up in armed conflict with the local populace.
Edited to add: An image of what's being deployed there, from the Times of Israel:
Despite their clothing tags, those are not "Police", that's a paramilitary goon squad.
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The Washington Post - Trump declines to say whether he will accept November election results
today
President Trump declined to say whether he will accept the results of the November election, claiming without evidence that mail-in voting due to the coronavirus pandemic could “rig” the outcome.
In a wide-ranging interview with “Fox News Sunday” host Chris Wallace, the president also continued to play down the severity of the coronavirus crisis in the country, declined to say whether he is offended by the Confederate flag and dismissed polls showing him trailing former vice president Joe Biden by a significant margin. ...
Amid a raft of polls showing him trailing Biden, Trump has remained defiant, and in the interview with Wallace, he again dismissed the survey results.
“I’m not losing, because those are fake polls,” he said. ...
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