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“We’ve arranged a society based on science and technology, in which nobody understands anything about science technology. Carl Sagan 1996
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MUELLER SAYS THAT UNTIL YESTERDAY HE HAD ALMOST FORGOTTEN TO INVESTIGATE GIULIANI
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The independent counsel, Robert Mueller, told reporters that, prior to news reports on Thursday, he had “almost forgotten” to investigate the former New York mayor Rudolph Giuliani.
“Like most Americans, I had totally forgotten about Rudy Giuliani’s existence,” he said. “But then when he popped up on the news I was, like, ‘Hold on—shouldn’t we be investigating him?’ ”
Mueller was at a loss to explain why he had failed to investigate Giuliani earlier. “I have no idea how it could have slipped my mind,” he said. “His role in Trump’s campaign was as fishy as all get-out.”
He said that other members of his team were “poking fun” at him for not deciding to investigate Giuliani before Thursday. “I mean, think about it: how do you do a criminal investigation of the Trump campaign and leave Rudy out of it?” he said. “I’ve got to say, I’m pretty darn embarrassed about the whole thing.”
When asked for an estimate of when the Russia inquiry might wrap up, Mueller responded, “I honestly can’t say. I was hoping to bring it to a close in the next month or two, but now that we’re also investigating Rudy Giuliani, God only knows how long it’ll take.”
'Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.' Voltaire
'A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.' Edward Abbey
Yeah, Andy Borowitz really sticks it to DJT, bless 'im.
Gawd knows how the cartoonists and satirists are gonna make a living after the Presidenterminator has finished demolishing Trump. They'll have to start on Pence.
Which reminds me...
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Vice-President Mike Pence has requested that Jesus Christ rapture him up before the special counsel Robert Mueller can indict him, a source close to Pence confirmed on Friday.
Shortly after the former national-security adviser Michael Flynn pleaded guilty to lying to the F.B.I., Pence contacted Jesus to discuss the early rapture proposal, the source said.
The source characterized Pence’s request to be raptured up as “urgent” but did not indicate whether the Vice-President asked Jesus to rapture up any other senior Administration officials.
“Some of these people will have to be left behind, for obvious reasons,” the source said. “Jared, for example.”
After the news of Pence’s conversation with Jesus leaked to the press, the Vice-President released an official statement, intended to tamp down speculation about his rapture request.
“I had a good conversation with Jesus Christ earlier in the day,” the statement read. “We touched on the timetable of my rapturing-up, along with a broad range of other issues. That is all I have to say at the present time.”
'Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.' Voltaire
'A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.' Edward Abbey
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Plesse igmore amd axxept applogies in adbance fir anu typos
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iPad Pro 11" + iPhone 15 Pro Max + 2degrees 4tw!
These comments are my own and do not represent the opinions of 2degrees.
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The Guardian - Michael Cohen case shines light on Sean Hannity's real estate empire
When Sean Hannity was named in court this week as a client of Donald Trump’s embattled legal fixer Michael Cohen, the Fox News host insisted their discussions had been limited to the subject of buying property.
Hannity’s chosen investment strategy is confirmed by thousands of pages of public records reviewed by the Guardian, which detail a real estate portfolio of remarkable scale that has not previously been reported.
The records link Hannity to a group of shell companies that spent at least $90m on more than 870 homes in seven states over the past decade.
The properties range from luxurious mansions to rentals for low-income families.
Hannity is the hidden owner behind some of the shell companies and his attorney did not dispute that he owns all of them.
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