XBMC is great. BUT for those with experience in xbmc, its even greater and i sadly have none. I need your help

So i have the intel nuc, dual hdmi version. I have set it up so one hdmi is plugged into the tv, and the other into the projector. This is where i run into problems.

I firstly had it set to clone mode in windows. This worked alright but because the resolution of the tv (720p) and projector (1080p) are different, parts would be chopped off the tv and if i did video calibration then parts of the projector screen would not be used.

Then i continued doing research and found that you can do the following. Set up windows display into extended mode. I did this and it gives me an option to change to fullscreen 1 or full screen 2. This works great when i have both the tv and projector on. I can change when ever.

BUT.

When i just turn off the projector with out changing the settings back to the tv display, it automatically goes to the tv for a few minutes before it goes away. I know its still running but in the other hdmi output as i can still hear it through the receiver. Note i keep sound from the receiver for both tv and projector.

IS IT POSSIBLE TO PROGRAM A KEY ON MY HP MCE REMOTE which can change display modes? I have looked everywhere and i have no idea what/how to do this.

Its really annoying. HELP. ILY