The dumbest Stuff or Herald headlines (& other news media)

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BDFL - Memuneh
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#2617743 7-Dec-2020 19:27

Headline: juror collapses.

Article: and dies.

Dying doesn't even make the headline

kingdragonfly

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#2619617 10-Dec-2020 19:03

This is quite an old story that I just discovered

https://nakedsecurity.sophos.com/2013/12/11/for-nearly-20-years-the-launch-code-for-us-nuclear-missiles-was-00000000/

"You know how a military guy with a special briefcase was supposed to have followed the US president around, carrying what were allegedly the secret, continually changing codes needed to launch a nuclear attack?

...A small security devices that prevented setting off nuclear weapons without the right code and the right authority – the “secret unlock” code for all US Minuteman nuclear missiles for almost 20 years during the Cold War was set to the jaw-droppingly simple code of eight zeros: 00000000."

frankv

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#2619844 11-Dec-2020 08:51

kingdragonfly:

... set to the jaw-droppingly simple code of eight zeros: 00000000."

not OPE then!

The beauty of 00000000 is that it can be implemented as a simple octal NOR gate, costing a few cents, yet be sold for millions.

kingdragonfly

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#2621006 13-Dec-2020 19:16

"Hey doc, I got a call because my friend was injured while putting up a Christmas tree. Is it bad?"

"I'm a proctologist. So yeah, it's bad."

1 in 5 Americans Have Been Hurt While Putting Up Christmas Tree, a 122% Rise From 2019 Report

75% admit to having left lights on overnight — in many cases more than once or twice — despite potential fire risks.

Four in 5 Americans intend to have at least one Christmas tree in their homes, according to the latest ValuePenguin survey, which may not bode well for injury-prone celebrants.

The percentage of people who said they’ve suffered injuries from their Christmas trees more than doubled from last year’s survey. In 2019, just 9% of respondents said they'd gotten injured while putting up their trees, but that figure jumped to 20% this year — a 122% increase....

Journeyman

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#2624947 21-Dec-2020 13:29

Zuh?

Behodar

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#2624948 21-Dec-2020 13:31

[Insert "Godzilla had a stroke" meme here]

neb

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#2624949 21-Dec-2020 13:31

kingdragonfly: "I'm a proctologist. So yeah, it's bad."

"It takes only one person to put the lightbulb in, but an entire emergency room to get it back out again".

neb

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#2624950 21-Dec-2020 13:32

Journeyman:

Zuh?

Yoda the newspaper hire.

Behodar

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#2624951 21-Dec-2020 13:33

At least Yoda still makes sense!

geoffwnz

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#2624953 21-Dec-2020 13:35

Journeyman:

Zuh?

DIY headline. Here's some words. Assemble them yourself into something that makes sense.

MotorDrive Rallying

freitasm

BDFL - Memuneh
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#2624954 21-Dec-2020 13:41

geoffwnz:

DIY headline. Here's some words. Assemble them yourself into something that makes sense.

FTFY.

Geektastic

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#2625026 21-Dec-2020 16:26

Axd io othur nooz heer at Stuff wee have highered sum grammer exspurts to help us inprove.

kingdragonfly

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#2626822 26-Dec-2020 11:33

Probably been sitting in the "use on slow news days" bucket for a year.

Sure way to keep your neighbor's children from visiting a second time unannounced.

Gives new meaning to having a painful sunburn.

Newhub: Perineum sunning - does it have health benefits? An expert's view

...The perineum is the area between the genitals and anus ...

freitasm

BDFL - Memuneh
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#2626870 26-Dec-2020 11:54

kingdragonfly: Probably been sitting in the "use on slow news days" bucket for a year.

Sure way to keep your neighbor's children from visiting a second time unannounced.

Gives new meaning to having a painful sunburn.

This is sol old, people are probably not even doing it anymore. Talk about slow news day.

Zigg

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#2627050 26-Dec-2020 22:46

Clearly the spellchecker wasn't functioning

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