Deamo:

 

excel nerd joke

 

 

That confirms what I already knew - that I am not any kind of Excel nerd!!

Geektastic:

 

That confirms what I already knew - that I am not any kind of Excel nerd!!

 

Or as I like to call it, 'Microsoft Advanced Table Formatter'.

„Mum, why does Dad have so little hair?“

„He thinks too much, darling.“

„Mummy, why do you have so much hair?“

„I think it's best if you go out and play now.“

Jokes going round the office recently

What's the difference between roast beef & pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef!

This one works best if posed as a question to people who love to bake..

How do you roast a cobbler?

Make fun of their shoes!

What do you get if you cross a primate with dynamite?

a Baboom!

„Mum, why does Dad have so little hair?“ ...

Eh, borderline at best, I have to say.

Me: "So, I'll concentrate now and start learning."

My brain: "Ladies and gentlemen..."

Me: "Oh no, please not again."

My brain: "This is Mambo Number Five..."

That moment when you're watching a film with your mum where a SWAT team storms a house and shouts "Clean!" at every room - and she says, "Look, they wouldn't have said that about your room."

Of course I would have to clean the windows, but privacy is also important.

The face of the person sitting next to you when you ask them on the flight to Barcelona what they are up to in London - priceless.

Laugh, nod and hope it wasn't a question. You know how it is.

At the oral exam, the professor greets the student: "Don't we know each other?"
The student replies: "Yes, I failed the last time, and today I'm taking the exam again.“

"I see, what was my first question last time?" the professor wants to know.
The student replies: "Don't we know each other?"

"What is cheating?" the professor asks the law student.
"Cheating is when you fail me."
"Why is that?"
"Because, according to the penal code, he who takes advantage of another's ignorance in order to harm him is guilty of fraud."

"Hooray, I got an A in maths!"
"W.T.F.!!!"
"Mom? What do you think W.T.F. means?"
"Wow, totally fantastic!“

Mother: "Please stop changing the Google logo all the time. I like the original one."
Son: "Mum, I don't change the logo, Google does!"
Mother: "On my computer??? You don't decide what the logo looks like?"
Son: "If I decided that, I would drive a different car."