Coming out on Facebook

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3075 posts

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#371662 23-Aug-2010 17:02

nickd: On the plus side, tardtasticx now knows his adrenalin glands work after that little hiccup involving his name :-P

I know a father & son that were having communication issues recently & were seeing a councillor/psychologist/what ever they are called these days. The councillor suggested writing letters and putting them in the post instead of talking, as they found it so hard to do so. His reasoning was that that way you can get your wording right, and explain to them without them being able to interrupt and if needed, be out of the house when it arrives in the post. The son who I am friends with says it works really well. Just an idea.

I did actually think of that, but through email. But I plan to tell mum first, and I think it will be ok with her, and then I'll ask her how dad will react because she would know him best out of us, and go from there.

graemeh

2078 posts

Uber Geek

#371664 23-Aug-2010 17:05

tardtasticx:
nickd: On the plus side, tardtasticx now knows his adrenalin glands work after that little hiccup involving his name :-P

I know a father & son that were having communication issues recently & were seeing a councillor/psychologist/what ever they are called these days. The councillor suggested writing letters and putting them in the post instead of talking, as they found it so hard to do so. His reasoning was that that way you can get your wording right, and explain to them without them being able to interrupt and if needed, be out of the house when it arrives in the post. The son who I am friends with says it works really well. Just an idea.

I did actually think of that, but through email. But I plan to tell mum first, and I think it will be ok with her, and then I'll ask her how dad will react because she would know him best out of us, and go from there.

Good thought. If you're worried about getting tongue tied you can always write it down as a backup :)

I think your Dad will probably be fine with it, he may be shocked at first but he'll get over it. It's your siblings you need to worry about, find a way to do it without your brother around!

tardtasticx

3075 posts

Uber Geek

#371668 23-Aug-2010 17:08

graemeh:
tardtasticx:
nickd: On the plus side, tardtasticx now knows his adrenalin glands work after that little hiccup involving his name :-P

I know a father & son that were having communication issues recently & were seeing a councillor/psychologist/what ever they are called these days. The councillor suggested writing letters and putting them in the post instead of talking, as they found it so hard to do so. His reasoning was that that way you can get your wording right, and explain to them without them being able to interrupt and if needed, be out of the house when it arrives in the post. The son who I am friends with says it works really well. Just an idea.

I did actually think of that, but through email. But I plan to tell mum first, and I think it will be ok with her, and then I'll ask her how dad will react because she would know him best out of us, and go from there.

Good thought. If you're worried about getting tongue tied you can always write it down as a backup :)

I think your Dad will probably be fine with it, he may be shocked at first but he'll get over it. It's your siblings you need to worry about, find a way to do it without your brother around!

My brother is never around. lol. He's always playing xbox, screaming at the TV or at someone from another country. haha. He'll find out when other people find out, me and him arn't that close and I don't think he'll care anyway, he gets on good with my good gay friend.

graemeh

2078 posts

Uber Geek

#371673 23-Aug-2010 17:11

tardtasticx:
graemeh:
tardtasticx:
nickd: On the plus side, tardtasticx now knows his adrenalin glands work after that little hiccup involving his name :-P

I know a father & son that were having communication issues recently & were seeing a councillor/psychologist/what ever they are called these days. The councillor suggested writing letters and putting them in the post instead of talking, as they found it so hard to do so. His reasoning was that that way you can get your wording right, and explain to them without them being able to interrupt and if needed, be out of the house when it arrives in the post. The son who I am friends with says it works really well. Just an idea.

I did actually think of that, but through email. But I plan to tell mum first, and I think it will be ok with her, and then I'll ask her how dad will react because she would know him best out of us, and go from there.

Good thought. If you're worried about getting tongue tied you can always write it down as a backup :)

I think your Dad will probably be fine with it, he may be shocked at first but he'll get over it. It's your siblings you need to worry about, find a way to do it without your brother around!

My brother is never around. lol. He's always playing xbox, screaming at the TV or at someone from another country. haha. He'll find out when other people find out, me and him arn't that close and I don't think he'll care anyway, he gets on good with my good gay friend.

I was thinking he is likely to use it as a way to try to annoy you if he thinks you are even slightly sensitive about it.

Sounds like tonight has to be the night and at least 15 mins before the start of Coro St :)

tardtasticx

3075 posts

Uber Geek

#371681 23-Aug-2010 17:22

graemeh:
tardtasticx:
graemeh:
tardtasticx:
nickd: On the plus side, tardtasticx now knows his adrenalin glands work after that little hiccup involving his name :-P

I know a father & son that were having communication issues recently & were seeing a councillor/psychologist/what ever they are called these days. The councillor suggested writing letters and putting them in the post instead of talking, as they found it so hard to do so. His reasoning was that that way you can get your wording right, and explain to them without them being able to interrupt and if needed, be out of the house when it arrives in the post. The son who I am friends with says it works really well. Just an idea.

I did actually think of that, but through email. But I plan to tell mum first, and I think it will be ok with her, and then I'll ask her how dad will react because she would know him best out of us, and go from there.

Good thought. If you're worried about getting tongue tied you can always write it down as a backup :)

I think your Dad will probably be fine with it, he may be shocked at first but he'll get over it. It's your siblings you need to worry about, find a way to do it without your brother around!

My brother is never around. lol. He's always playing xbox, screaming at the TV or at someone from another country. haha. He'll find out when other people find out, me and him arn't that close and I don't think he'll care anyway, he gets on good with my good gay friend.

I was thinking he is likely to use it as a way to try to annoy you if he thinks you are even slightly sensitive about it.

Sounds like tonight has to be the night and at least 15 mins before the start of Coro St :)

Noooooo tomorrow night. I have an exam tomorrow morning, so after that I will just incase it doesnt go as planned, I don't want that stressing me out

SepticSceptic

2186 posts

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#371692 23-Aug-2010 17:32

tardtasticx:
Noooooo tomorrow night. I have an exam tomorrow morning, so after that I will just incase it doesnt go as planned, I don't want that stressing me out

Tonight !!! Don't procrastinate !!! If you don't tonight, you will stew over it tomorrow during your exams, and you will loose focus. And possibly, your parents will find out before tomorrow night, going by the few degrees of separation. Your FB friends sure will tell their parents, and their parents will tell your parents .....

Do it tonight, you will have a clear head for tomorrows exams - it will all be over with in a few minutes, and you can breathe with a sense of relief that you have gotten this off your chest and advised your parents. How they react is their problem, you will still be Sam tomorrow. With an exam.

And give 'em a hug, no matter how it goes.

You have just over an hour ... your time starts now ... tick ... tick ... tick ..

nickd

447 posts

Ultimate Geek

#371696 23-Aug-2010 17:39

On a different note, stop lurking GZ and go do some study.

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tardtasticx

3075 posts

Uber Geek

#371722 23-Aug-2010 18:09

nickd: On a different note, stop lurking GZ and go do some study.

Who's to say I'm not studying? :D

SepticSceptic:
tardtasticx:
Noooooo tomorrow night. I have an exam tomorrow morning, so after that I will just incase it doesnt go as planned, I don't want that stressing me out

Tonight !!! Don't procrastinate !!! If you don't tonight, you will stew over it tomorrow during your exams, and you will loose focus. And possibly, your parents will find out before tomorrow night, going by the few degrees of separation. Your FB friends sure will tell their parents, and their parents will tell your parents .....

Do it tonight, you will have a clear head for tomorrows exams - it will all be over with in a few minutes, and you can breathe with a sense of relief that you have gotten this off your chest and advised your parents. How they react is their problem, you will still be Sam tomorrow. With an exam.

And give 'em a hug, no matter how it goes.

You have just over an hour ... your time starts now ... tick ... tick ... tick ..

True, I was just in the living room before and read the tv guide to see what time mum and I would be alone, and theres a lot of shows on tonight we all usually watch, but dad usually goes to next door and gives their dog scraps from dinner and brother will go on xbox for a little bit after tea so sometime during the sports part of news I think I'll tell her. She seem's to be in a good mood as most of the wallpapering got done today at the house so another plus for me :)

Will let you know what happens. Wish me luck :S

SepticSceptic

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#371724 23-Aug-2010 18:12

Wish me luck :S

Always :-)

tardtasticx

3075 posts

Uber Geek

#371731 23-Aug-2010 18:19

Well there we go, first "rejection" I guess. I actually PM'd him just to chat and he said that so why not take the opportunity aye? :D ah well. Im sure he dont' approve, he's never away from his computer.

smac

333 posts

Ultimate Geek

#371732 23-Aug-2010 18:20

This whole thread reminds me of those stories you hear about people surprised they got fired for slagging their boss on Facebook....the OP has already shown he doesn't understand enough about the web/facebook/forums to even be using them. There should be some sort of emotional age test or something...

tardtasticx this is the thing you don't get - people in this thread have already 'shared' this thread. There WILL be people in your classes, sport club,church, whatever that have seen this, and can figure out who you are.

Some 57 year old vodka guzzling slob in Tzechmanistan is already having a chuckle at this....and you still think your extended family is gonna hear it from you first....

The other point about an 'announcement' is also quite bizarre. To the best of my recollection I never felt the need to 'announce' my sexuality. Why do you feel you need to?

When are people going to get it......personal information and the internet are quite simply incompatible. It doesn't work. End of story.

chiefie

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#371748 23-Aug-2010 18:35

You're not totally dishonest if you don't disclose it on Facebook, or workplace or whatever... it is called priviledged personal information that only selected few that you feel comfortable to share, to know. Not telling or having to disclose it out is not a crime, and certainly is not being dishonest. So don't beat yourself up if you feel "bad or wrong" by not being "honest" to them on Facebok - you don't have to share every thing on the Internet!!! Some of those things are best and quite frankly, be kept to share in person.

Know that mature people share things and personal information wisely with peer that they feel confident with. It is a smart thing to do.

You don't owe the world this knowledge, it's no one's business, and certainly your decision to share it out with right trusting people. Surely not EVERYONE in Facebook and internet are you trusted people.

Family and close friends should know if you feel comfortable, and to offload the huge burden on your shoulders. Everyone else, including teachers or schoolmates or whoever, they don't have the rights and privilege to know, they're on "need to know" basis.

Again, a cheesy/corny saying "don't ask don't tell"; you don't have to tell anyone, and no one need to ask. If someone do ask, they probably just as scared to offend you in fear that they may got it wrong, that then you can correct their misunderstanding. No harm done. Let people ask you, don't go parading down the "gay pride" road to flag your fag flag so to speak. Okay?

You'll do fine, trust me.

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tardtasticx

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#371763 23-Aug-2010 19:09

Well the way I see it, people will find out eventually, and I thought abotu putting it on facebook because it would be better if it came from me one way or another, rather than hearsay. And I will be telling my family first, I havn't out it on facebook and this link has been shared by geekzone and one other person on twitter, only one of my friends has twitter, and I told him I was gay yesterday.

tardtasticx

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#371764 23-Aug-2010 19:10

No one else has left the house yet, hopefully they do soon :/

chiefie

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#371774 23-Aug-2010 19:26

Don't stress about Facebook thing.. you don't have to out it on there. If they hearsay, then let them build up the courage to approach you and ask you, meanwhile you carrying on your own new profound life, you don't have to subject to their thinking anymore, you can shape their thinking when they approach you to get the real goss from the horse's mouth. Otherwise, let them speculate all they want, you don't even need to sweat over it.

Because in real world, there will always be people talking about one another... the sooner you realised this is normal, the better off you'll be.

Good luck.

Internet is my backyard...

«Geekzone blog: Tech 'n Chips Takeaway» «Personal blog: And then...»

Please read the Geekzone's FUG

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