Silly joke thread

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Smpl Mnmlst
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#3089145 12-Jun-2023 18:25

People in Kawerau are complaining about brown mains water due to unwanted minerals in the water. Their local water authority is looking for a solution.

Sometimes I just sit and think. Other times I just sit.

elpenguino

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#3091844 19-Jun-2023 08:08

I ate some scrabble tiles.

I think my next bowel movement is going to spell trouble.

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is knowing not to put it in fruit salad.

eracode

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#3091901 19-Jun-2023 10:26

elpenguino:

I ate some scrabble tiles.

I think my next bowel movement is going to spell trouble.

Just as well you didn’t swallow Lego - you’d be sh*tting bricks.

Sometimes I just sit and think. Other times I just sit.

BlueShift

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#3091902 19-Jun-2023 10:27

elpenguino:

I ate some scrabble tiles.

I think my next bowel movement is going to spell trouble.

I've been following this thread for an update - but no word yet

SaltyNZ

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#3091917 19-Jun-2023 11:02

elpenguino:

I ate some scrabble tiles.

I think my next bowel movement is going to spell trouble.

My dad always kept his slide rule behind the loo, just in case he had a problem doing logs without assistance.

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These comments are my own and do not represent the opinions of 2degrees.

Bananabob

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#3091918 19-Jun-2023 11:04

SaltyNZ:

elpenguino:

I ate some scrabble tiles.

I think my next bowel movement is going to spell trouble.

My dad always kept his slide rule behind the loo, just in case he had a problem doing logs without assistance.

I thought mathematicians always worked it out with a pencil.

eracode

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#3091921 19-Jun-2023 11:09

Bananabob:

I thought mathematicians always worked it out with a pencil.

Writing implements don’t work for all people - I knew a constipated accountant who couldn’t budget.

Sometimes I just sit and think. Other times I just sit.

decibel

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#3095392 27-Jun-2023 12:22

Movieman

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#3095412 27-Jun-2023 14:01

Daughter - "Mother, when can I give Daddy his Father's Day card?"

Mother - "Thursday, when he delivers the milk"

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elpenguino

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#3095414 27-Jun-2023 14:13

I've never used essential oils ...... which makes me wonder just how essential they are.

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is knowing not to put it in fruit salad.

BlueShift

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#3095425 27-Jun-2023 14:41

I just got back from a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. Never doing that again!

Movieman

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#3095431 27-Jun-2023 14:59

I booked a table for my wife's birthday. Bound to end in tears though..... She's rubbish at Snooker😁

Tinkerisk

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#3095714 28-Jun-2023 09:20

I buy my 52 amp fuses and the 710 cap at the same place I buy my blinker fluid and my muffler bearings.

Qui nihil scit, omnia credere debet. - He who knows nothing must believe everything.
Firewalls do NOT stop dragons. Really not. But your smart devices are spying on you!
I avoid Big Tech amap. They try hard to dictate technology and „culture“ across borders.
In effect we have everything to hide from someone, and no idea who „someone“ is.

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#3095778 28-Jun-2023 12:01

Batman & Robin were attending a Superhero convention in New York.

Batman - "I had a very unusual experience last night"

Robin - "What happened"

Batman - " I couldn't sleep so I decided to go to the lounge in the hotel for a Budweiser... and there was Wonder Woman stark naked, laid on her back and she was moaning and breathing heavily"

Robin - "Holy Cow Batman! What did you do?"

Batman - "Well, I've had a big crush on Wonder Woman since I first met her, so I decided to make the most of this unexpected opportunity"

Robin - "Wow! Was she surprised Batman?"

Batman - "Well yes, but not nearly as surprised as The Invisible Man!"

Movieman

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#3096250 29-Jun-2023 15:46

CREATING A PASSWORD

Please enter your new password

"cabbage"

Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters

"boiled cabbage"

Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character

"1 boiled cabbage"

Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces

"50stupidboiledcabbages"

Sorry, the password must contain 1 upper case character

"50STUPIDboiledcabbages"

Sorry, the password cannot use more than 1 upper case character consecutively

"50StupidBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArse,IfYouDontGiveMeAccessImmediately"

Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation

"50StupidBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArseIfYouDontGiveMeAccessImmediately"

Sorry, that password is already in use.

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