Silly joke thread

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Smpl Mnmlst
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#3089145 12-Jun-2023 18:25

People in Kawerau are complaining about brown mains water due to unwanted minerals in the water. Their local water authority is looking for a solution.

Sometimes I just sit and think. Other times I just sit.

elpenguino

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#3091844 19-Jun-2023 08:08

I ate some scrabble tiles.

I think my next bowel movement is going to spell trouble.

Most of the posters in this thread are just like chimpanzees on MDMA, full of feelings of bonhomie, joy, and optimism. Fred99 8/4/21

eracode

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#3091901 19-Jun-2023 10:26

elpenguino:

I ate some scrabble tiles.

I think my next bowel movement is going to spell trouble.

Just as well you didn’t swallow Lego - you’d be sh*tting bricks.

Sometimes I just sit and think. Other times I just sit.

BlueShift

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#3091902 19-Jun-2023 10:27

elpenguino:

I ate some scrabble tiles.

I think my next bowel movement is going to spell trouble.

I've been following this thread for an update - but no word yet

SaltyNZ

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#3091917 19-Jun-2023 11:02

elpenguino:

I ate some scrabble tiles.

I think my next bowel movement is going to spell trouble.

My dad always kept his slide rule behind the loo, just in case he had a problem doing logs without assistance.

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These comments are my own and do not represent the opinions of 2degrees.

Bananabob

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#3091918 19-Jun-2023 11:04

SaltyNZ:

elpenguino:

I ate some scrabble tiles.

I think my next bowel movement is going to spell trouble.

My dad always kept his slide rule behind the loo, just in case he had a problem doing logs without assistance.

I thought mathematicians always worked it out with a pencil.

eracode

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#3091921 19-Jun-2023 11:09

Bananabob:

I thought mathematicians always worked it out with a pencil.

Writing implements don’t work for all people - I knew a constipated accountant who couldn’t budget.

Sometimes I just sit and think. Other times I just sit.

decibel

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#3095392 27-Jun-2023 12:22

Movieman

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#3095412 27-Jun-2023 14:01

Daughter - "Mother, when can I give Daddy his Father's Day card?"

Mother - "Thursday, when he delivers the milk"

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elpenguino

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#3095414 27-Jun-2023 14:13

I've never used essential oils ...... which makes me wonder just how essential they are.

Most of the posters in this thread are just like chimpanzees on MDMA, full of feelings of bonhomie, joy, and optimism. Fred99 8/4/21

BlueShift

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#3095425 27-Jun-2023 14:41

I just got back from a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. Never doing that again!

Movieman

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#3095431 27-Jun-2023 14:59

I booked a table for my wife's birthday. Bound to end in tears though..... She's rubbish at Snooker😁

Tinkerisk

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#3095714 28-Jun-2023 09:20

I buy my 52 amp fuses and the 710 cap at the same place I buy my blinker fluid and my muffler bearings.

Qui nihil scit, omnia credere debet.
Firewalls do NOT stop dragons.
In effect we have everything to hide from someone, and no idea who someone is.

Movieman

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#3095778 28-Jun-2023 12:01

Batman & Robin were attending a Superhero convention in New York.

Batman - "I had a very unusual experience last night"

Robin - "What happened"

Batman - " I couldn't sleep so I decided to go to the lounge in the hotel for a Budweiser... and there was Wonder Woman stark naked, laid on her back and she was moaning and breathing heavily"

Robin - "Holy Cow Batman! What did you do?"

Batman - "Well, I've had a big crush on Wonder Woman since I first met her, so I decided to make the most of this unexpected opportunity"

Robin - "Wow! Was she surprised Batman?"

Batman - "Well yes, but not nearly as surprised as The Invisible Man!"

Movieman

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#3096250 29-Jun-2023 15:46

CREATING A PASSWORD

Please enter your new password

"cabbage"

Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters

"boiled cabbage"

Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character

"1 boiled cabbage"

Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces

"50stupidboiledcabbages"

Sorry, the password must contain 1 upper case character

"50STUPIDboiledcabbages"

Sorry, the password cannot use more than 1 upper case character consecutively

"50StupidBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArse,IfYouDontGiveMeAccessImmediately"

Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation

"50StupidBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArseIfYouDontGiveMeAccessImmediately"

Sorry, that password is already in use.

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