Silly joke thread

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Smpl Mnmlst
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#3478899 7-Apr-2026 19:08

networkn:

I am Buzz Aldren. I was the second Man to Walk on the Moon.

Neal before me.

Close but no cigar - second man on the moon was Buzz Aldrin.

Sometimes I just sit and think. Other times I just sit.

eracode

Smpl Mnmlst
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#3488691 8-May-2026 13:20

Finally, I fully understand what EBITDA is:

Earnings before Iran, Tariffs and Donald Announcements.

Sometimes I just sit and think. Other times I just sit.

networkn

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#3490631 13-May-2026 17:35

What concert costs 45c?

50 Cent featuring Nickelback.

Eva888

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#3491275 15-May-2026 16:32

An old woman decided to celebrate her 75th birthday by treating herself to one night in a fancy hotel. The next morning, when she went to check out, the desk clerk gave her a bill for $250. She was shocked and asked why it was so expensive. “I agree it’s a nice hotel, but the room isn’t worth $250 for just one night — I didn’t even have breakfast,” she said. The clerk explained that $250 was the standard rate, and breakfast was included… if she had chosen to have it.

She asked to speak with the manager. The manager came out, already informed about the complaint, and said, “Our hotel has an Olympic-sized swimming pool and a large conference center that guests can use.”

“But I didn’t use them,” she replied.

“Well, they are available, and you could have used them,” he answered.

He continued, saying the hotel also offered famous in-house shows with top entertainers from around the world.

“But I didn’t attend any of those shows,” she said.

“They are available, and you could have gone,” the manager repeated.

Every time the manager mentioned another facility, she answered, “But I didn’t use it,” and he kept giving the same reply.

After several minutes of going back and forth, and seeing that the manager would not change his mind, she agreed to pay. She wrote a cheque and handed it to him.

The manager looked at it and said, “Madam, this cheque is for only $50.”

“That’s right,” she said. “I charged you $200 for sleeping with me.”

“But I didn’t do that!” the manager replied.

“Well,” she answered calmly, “I was here, and you could have.”

eracode

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#3495673 27-May-2026 07:32

Jony Ive has designed a full-electric car for Ferarri.

Sometimes I just sit and think. Other times I just sit.

freitasm

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#3495748 27-May-2026 12:16

NSFW

Click to see spoiler(s)

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deepred

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#3495892 27-May-2026 15:49

Seen on a bulletin board in 1993:

Had it not been for C, we'd be programming in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.

"I regret to say that we of the F.B.I. are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce." — J. Edgar Hoover

"Create a society that values material things above all else. Strip it of industry. Raise taxes for the poor and reduce them for the rich and for corporations. Prop up failed financial institutions with public money. Ask for more tax, while vastly reducing public services. Put adverts everywhere, regardless of people's ability to afford the things they advertise. Allow the cost of food and housing to eclipse people's ability to pay for them. Light blue touch paper." — Andrew Maxwell

roobarb

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#3496436 29-May-2026 15:09

"je m'appelle" is French for "I have an iPhone"

Eva888

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#3499017 1-Jun-2026 09:21

The difference if you marry an Australian girl.

Three friends married a woman from different parts of the world….

The first man married a Turkish girl he told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and dishes washed and put away

The second man married a Thai. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn’t see any results but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day he saw his house was clean the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from Australia. He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawns mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal.

He said the first day he didn’t see anything. The second day he didn’t see anything either, but by the third day some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he pees.

networkn

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#3499054 1-Jun-2026 13:01

deepred:

Seen on a bulletin board in 1993:

Had it not been for C, we'd be programming in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.

I've seen this a few times before, but it's really clever.

Tinkerisk

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#3501097 7-Jun-2026 19:53

Don't buy robot vacuums. Some nerds end up getting absolutely no physical exercise during the week. 😁

Qui nihil scit, omnia credere debet. - He who knows nothing must believe everything.
Firewalls do NOT stop dragons. Really not. But your smart devices are spying on you!
I avoid Big Tech amap. They try hard to dictate technology and „culture“ across borders.
In effect we have everything to hide from someone, and no idea who „someone“ is.

roobarb

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#3502570 13-Jun-2026 01:08

Thai Princess Bajrakitiyabha dies after more than three years in coma, will Kid Rock be singing at the funeral?

MadEngineer

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#3502698 13-Jun-2026 20:04

Tinkerisk:

Don't buy robot vacuums. Some nerds end up getting absolutely no physical exercise during the week. 😁

Lost my wedding ring the other day only to find it caught up in the vacuum cleaner. No wonder it had stopped sucking.

You're not on Atlantis anymore, Duncan Idaho.

Tinkerisk

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#3502717 13-Jun-2026 23:34

MadEngineer:

Tinkerisk:

Don't buy robot vacuums. Some nerds end up getting absolutely no physical exercise during the week. 😁

Lost my wedding ring the other day only to find it caught up in the vacuum cleaner. No wonder it had stopped sucking.

Yeah, yeah, that can be a heavy burden. 😁😎

Qui nihil scit, omnia credere debet. - He who knows nothing must believe everything.
Firewalls do NOT stop dragons. Really not. But your smart devices are spying on you!
I avoid Big Tech amap. They try hard to dictate technology and „culture“ across borders.
In effect we have everything to hide from someone, and no idea who „someone“ is.

roobarb

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#3504064 18-Jun-2026 17:09

There used to be a gourmet hot-dog restaurant near Britomart railway station.

I fancied something traditional and Germanic so I said "Do your Wurst!". They said the kitchen was closed.

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