Christmas Darwin Awards etc

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Geektastic

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Topic # 160315 1-Jan-2015 23:44

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There seems to have been a severe epidemic of Common Sensus Desertus over the holidays.

Some absolute moron was stopped on the roads with no less than 10 children in a cargo trailer.....some guy climbed a light pole and attempted to jump into a pool (and missed)...riots on NYE...some bloke stopped at 240+ kmh....etc etc.

Is it me, or does it seem more deranged than usual? Some of these things are so brain-achingly stupid that it seems almost impossible a human could be that dumb and not be in an institution!

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Reply # 1207053 2-Jan-2015 00:24

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Marlborough's MP Stuart Smith is in the Marlborough Express today saying tourist drivers get a bad deal after a Swiss driver caused a head on collision driving on the wrong side of the road. This is the day after a pair of Asian tourists died after driving off a bridge on the SI West Coast shortly after overtaking several cars, and reportedly driving like a mad person. Another of the worst accidents in our region was when a camper van with five tourist lads failed to stop at an — admittedly hard to see — intersection and hit a Ute towing a boat. A passenger in the camper van was killed.

The last of the free parking close to Blenheim CBD is the Station car park the other side of SH1. My Number One rule for staying alive crossing the zebra crossing is never step out when a rented camper van is anywhere in sight. I once had one put two wheels on the raised island in the center of the road because he was that determined to squeeze past me. He was way back when I started to cross the road, and the bugger accelerated!!! I managed to give the side of the van a good kick!

When they are not driving too fast, they drive too slow doing <70kph on State Highways with a dozen vehicles waiting to pass. Until they get to an ovrtaking lane of course, but that was mentioned in another thread this week.

If you listen carefully, you just might hear my blood boiling.

Trevor Dennis
Rapaura (near Blenheim)

Lias

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Reply # 1207057 2-Jan-2015 01:01

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On the 19th of December I was a passenger in my parents Hilux on a trip to Auckland for my uncles 60th, when we got hit head-on by a french tourist driving on the wrong side of the road. Amazingly no-one died or was seriously injured so it will never make the papers, but you'll forgive me if I do not share Mr Smith's opinion of tourist drivers!

My dad (drivers airbags) was virtually unscathed (minor bruising/scrapes etc), mum (front passenger with airbag) had some decent bruising, and I (rear passenger with no airbag) have some spectacular bruising, a bruised or possibly minor fractured rib, and a decent amount of muscular neck/back pain (actually getting worse rather than better, unlike the bruising, gonna need to go see a physio I suspect). Male tourist broke his arm, and his wife damaged her knee, but were also walking wounded, the tourists and myself were the only ones transported to hospital and I was released fairly quickly after xrays, ultrasound, poking and prodding etc. Both vehicles total writeoffs, and as my parents Hilux was chocka full of gear with bikes on the back etc quite a bit of miscellaneous damage. The damage that I found strangest was my shirt ripping in a perfect clean line across where the lap belt part of my seatbelt was, like tearing paper with a ruler.

All in all though I'm pretty happy myself and my parents are alive, it's not every day you walk away from a headon collision (even if it was at less than open road speeds due to being a windy bit of road, we're guesstimating we were doing 70-80km).

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Reply # 1207078 2-Jan-2015 08:24

Man dives into river to save iPhone and has to be rescued

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/teenager-who-dived-freezing-river-4900290

DarthKermit

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Reply # 1207107 2-Jan-2015 11:13

My fave Darwin Award of all time was the guy who tried to use a golf ball washer to wash his testicles. The machine tore them off (but didn't kill him) thereby removing him from the gene pool.

Whatifthespacekeyhadneverbeeninvented?

Geektastic

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Reply # 1207109 2-Jan-2015 11:28

Brunzy: Man dives into river to save iPhone and has to be rescued

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/teenager-who-dived-freezing-river-4900290

That's up there. Claim on insurance or risk death in icy winter river to get phone that would be screwed anyway...hmmm...tricky one....

Geektastic

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Reply # 1207110 2-Jan-2015 11:29

I see this morning some drunk guy not wearing a seat belt managed to roll his car on a beach and remove himself from the gene pool.

Is it something in the water this Christmas?!

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Reply # 1207113 2-Jan-2015 11:45

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TLD: Marlborough's MP Stuart Smith is in the Marlborough Express today saying tourist drivers get a bad deal after a Swiss driver caused a head on collision driving on the wrong side of the road. ...

extract from the Marlborough Express - "Blaming crashes on tourists unfair"

Alexander Shmotev, from the Ural Mountains in Russia, had been driving in Marlborough for the past three days.
It was his first time driving on the left.
"It takes one or two days to get used to," he said.
Having the driver's seat on the opposite side was slightly confusing.
"Everything is upside down."

A lot can happen in "one or two days" ...

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TLD

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Reply # 1207121 2-Jan-2015 12:24

I believe the car he hit ended upside down.

In my experience driving in France, it was OK off the ferry/train, but leaving the hotel early next morning, you're back in auto mode, and I did once drive away on the left. It was very early and the roads were empty, and I immediately realised that I'd messed up.

Similar thing with rental cars. I find I never have problems with the different controls in a rental, because you are consciously thinking about it, but when I get back in my own car I initially get the indicators and wiper controls mixed up — because I am back in auto mode.

But the above does not explain the long term idiocy of many visitors when they drive here. I mean how do you suddenly revert to driving on the right half way through a long journey? Anyone remember the NZ cop reality show where a pair of Chinese tourists were trying to do half of the SI in a day? They stopped doing 130 somewhere in MacKenzie — south of Omarama if memory serves. They were flying out of CHC the next day, and wanted to get in Mount Cook and a bunch of other highlights, and were driving like loonies to cover the distance (that they had totally underestimated).

The cops were incredibly nice to them all things considered, although they did contact the hire company who banned them from driving any further, so the cops threw their stuff in the back of a patrol car, and drove them all the way to Oamaru so they could get the coach to CHC. What the heck!?

Trevor Dennis
Rapaura (near Blenheim)

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Reply # 1207141 2-Jan-2015 13:30

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DarthKermit: My fave Darwin Award of all time was the guy who tried to use a golf ball washer to wash his testicles. The machine tore them off (but didn't kill him) thereby removing him from the gene pool.

This ticks all the boxes in the spirit of the award.

I declare this the winner so far

Swype on iOS is detrimental to accurate typing. Apologies in advance.

linw

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Reply # 1207152 2-Jan-2015 13:43

Gotta admit, tourists are a worry. However, we have just got back from driving Picton to Motueka, Motueka to Westport and Westport to Picton and I have to say all slower vehicles pulled over to let the faster ones pass. Was impressed.

Luck is a handy thing to take with you when driving!

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Reply # 1207155 2-Jan-2015 14:03

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On the other hand I was driving on cruise control at 101 (after calibration that is) and got overtaken by all kinds of vehicles that disappeared into the horizon (ie was going a lot faster)

Southland in case you're wondering where

Swype on iOS is detrimental to accurate typing. Apologies in advance.

Geektastic

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Reply # 1207178 2-Jan-2015 14:59

Hundreds of thousands of people from the UK drive in Europe and the US (amongst other places which drive on the wrong side) every year and AFAIK they do not leave a trail of dead bodies and accidents behind them. I drove around the Dordogne in June in a LHD car, on the wrong side of the road and had no accidents.

I suspect it is our road design as much as anything else: it would be possible for Europeans to rarely drive on much except motorways and dual carriageways when travelling between cities - many NZ roads would equate to very rural ones in Europe, which the average city dweller would use rarely.

The AA have called for more median barriers and roundabouts and I think that is a good start - it would save NZ drivers as well as tourists. (But not from idiots with 10 kids in a cargo trailer...!)

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Reply # 1207186 2-Jan-2015 15:03

TLD: I believe the car he hit ended upside down.

In my experience driving in France, it was OK off the ferry/train, but leaving the hotel early next morning, you're back in auto mode, and I did once drive away on the left. It was very early and the roads were empty, and I immediately realised that I'd messed up.

Similar thing with rental cars. I find I never have problems with the different controls in a rental, because you are consciously thinking about it, but when I get back in my own car I initially get the indicators and wiper controls mixed up — because I am back in auto mode.

But the above does not explain the long term idiocy of many visitors when they drive here. I mean how do you suddenly revert to driving on the right half way through a long journey? Anyone remember the NZ cop reality show where a pair of Chinese tourists were trying to do half of the SI in a day? They stopped doing 130 somewhere in MacKenzie — south of Omarama if memory serves. They were flying out of CHC the next day, and wanted to get in Mount Cook and a bunch of other highlights, and were driving like loonies to cover the distance (that they had totally underestimated).

The cops were incredibly nice to them all things considered, although they did contact the hire company who banned them from driving any further, so the cops threw their stuff in the back of a patrol car, and drove them all the way to Oamaru so they could get the coach to CHC. What the heck!?

One of my businesses is planning and leading photo tours for overseas photographers.

You'd be amazed how many times I have to try and explain that you cannot get round NZ in 7 days! I once had a long and painful conversation with some US clients who could not understand why a helicopter was the only way to travel between Mt Cook village and Fox Glacier in less than a day....! "But they are really close together on the map!" "Yes but there is no road." "Why not?" etc etc.

TLD

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Reply # 1207258 2-Jan-2015 18:07

linw: Gotta admit, tourists are a worry. However, we have just got back from driving Picton to Motueka, Motueka to Westport and Westport to Picton and I have to say all slower vehicles pulled over to let the faster ones pass. Was impressed.

Luck is a handy thing to take with you when driving!

Hey, do you live in Picton, or were you off the ferry? I'm guessing the latter. If you avoided the nausea inducing Queen Charlotte Drive, and took SW62, you'd have passed within half a k of my house at Rapaura.

Trevor Dennis
Rapaura (near Blenheim)

timmmay

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Reply # 1207272 2-Jan-2015 18:21

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Lias: On the 19th of December I was a passenger in my parents Hilux on a trip to Auckland for my uncles 60th, when we got hit head-on by a french tourist driving on the wrong side of the road...

Wow, that's awful, with a relatively positive outcome. Definitely see a physio, but most a crap so go see a proper doctor if required.

I found most people on the roads this holidays reasonably well behaved, other than the usual awful tail gating. We drove 1700km with no issues.

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