The Oh lets not do presents this year thread

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dickytim

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#207317 19-Dec-2016 06:21

So I am somewhat cheap, I can't stand spending hundreds of dollars on presents that are not needed, especially the latest fad toys for nieces and nephews that are played with on xmas day then never again.

Could you imagine my delight when my partner says to me, "lets not do presents for each other, instead let's put the money towards going to Waiheke for a weekend away before baby comes.

I thought I had hit the jackpot! Well yesterday when shopping for some bits and pieces for the for mentioned nieces and nephews I happened to mention that from my point of view we were still going with the Waiheke plan...

Wrong! Now I need to find a last minute gift.

Anyone else have this problem?

Last year I spent almost $2,000 on xmas gifts, food etc. To me that is insane, to others I am sure it is a small amount.

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cisconz
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#1691983 19-Dec-2016 07:24

Presents for each other and presents for nieces and nephews are 2 different things.

What we do to combat that is we have a ballot, each person gets 1 present from the inlaws side, and one from my side - means apart from our immediate family, we only need to buy 2 presents.

Hmmmm

MikeB4

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#1691985 19-Dec-2016 07:28

We only do gifts for immediate family not the extended. For the last decade that has been hampers of special foods and little joke stuff. For us it's about the day not the gifts.

Here is a crazy notion, lets give peace a chance.

kiwifidget

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#1692016 19-Dec-2016 07:57

Secret Santa is your friend. We are only 5 people but we make it work.

Delete cookies?! Are you insane?!

Linux

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#1692025 19-Dec-2016 08:06

Christmas day for us is my Dad's birthday this take priority and of course spending time with family then the afternoon is me riding Auckland to Wanganui for Cemetery Circuit bike racing

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gregmcc

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#1692028 19-Dec-2016 08:28

MikeB4: We only do gifts for immediate family not the extended. For the last decade that has been hampers of special foods and little joke stuff. For us it's about the day not the gifts.

This is my preference, but my mother tries the guilt trip for us and my brothers every year, and it's really bugging us, if we done the present buy for my 3 brothers, their partners, their kids (and some them have partners as well) that would be way too many (around 25 different people to buy for), I would much rather enjoy the company of them, a nice meal etc.

Disrespective

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#1692032 19-Dec-2016 08:40

dickytim:Last year I spent almost $2,000 on xmas gifts, food etc. To me that is insane, to others I am sure it is a small amount.

That is certifiably insane.

As a family we no longer buy presents for adults except our own spouses. Once you hit 30 or have children the emphasis moves away from you, and onto the next generation anyway. And even then we limit present prices for the kids to a maximum of $50 and adults rarely over $100.

I have no interest in spending anything more than what I feel right at the time which means the price limits might go up if the gift needs it.

We aren't hard up, but the family all feel that it's not about what the present is worth but that it's something that the person either wants, or can't be bothered buying for themselves.

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Rikkitic

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#1692043 19-Dec-2016 08:56

I have told the family I no longer want any gifts and will not be giving any.

Plesse igmore amd axxept applogies in adbance fir anu typos

dickytim

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#1692048 19-Dec-2016 09:14

Disrespective:

dickytim:Last year I spent almost $2,000 on xmas gifts, food etc. To me that is insane, to others I am sure it is a small amount.

That is certifiably insane.

As a family we no longer buy presents for adults except our own spouses. Once you hit 30 or have children the emphasis moves away from you, and onto the next generation anyway. And even then we limit present prices for the kids to a maximum of $50 and adults rarely over $100.

I have no interest in spending anything more than what I feel right at the time which means the price limits might go up if the gift needs it.

We aren't hard up, but the family all feel that it's not about what the present is worth but that it's something that the person either wants, or can't be bothered buying for themselves.

Absolutely agree, and that didn't include what my now fiancé spent either, I actually felt a lot of pressure for this and ended up spending more than I could afford. This year I have spent around $300 and re-gifted a couple of prizes from a golf competition. My finace however has spent around $1000 and still has the Weber Q to buy for her mother.

I actually stress quite a bit over xmas and would rather just get together with the family for food, drink and company. I have said that when my child comes along next year that I don't want them to have a lot of crap and to limit their toys in number and quality insisting on educational toys. I think that next xmas I will have to lay down the law as we will be down to one income so spending like this will need to stop.

jonathan18

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#1692050 19-Dec-2016 09:21

One thing my wife and I have started doing for Xmas presents is combining what we spend on each other, and putting that money towards buying something - it may be something we both want but is not a must-have (this year it's an egg chair), or it may go towards buying a flasher version of something we may need anyway (last year it was a Weber bbq). This means we know it'll be wanted, useful and used.

With presents for kids, generally, I think it's so easy to buy crap that won't be used or working after a few weeks. I find it quite depressing watching my kids opening present after present from every relative, knowing most will be given away or thrown out within the year. A lot of this is fuelled by the cheap-as stuff from China, which means everyone can afford to buy kids something - it's just usually rubbish. I'd rather they got far fewer but useful items. We're encouraging family to buy them Lego, given it can at least be added to their well-used collection.

We've moving away from giving our boys toys - this year it's things like books (including annuals) and scooters. Perhaps not as exciting, but at least they'll be well-used.

Disrespective

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#1692056 19-Dec-2016 09:38

dickytim:... would rather just get together with the family for food, drink and company.

This is how all holidays should be. No stress at all. For holidays my wife and I now travel with no set schedule outside of one or two main items on the itinerary. It allows for a much more enjoyable holiday all round. We employ the same theory with xmas. One meal planned, the rest are just what organically happens through the day. It's so much nicer as the stress of being somewhere specific multiple times a day is now gone. Also, a BBQ for an xmas present is mental. Those Webers aren't cheap at all, but if your fiance's mum has asked for it then that makes it hard as her family obviously expects big things from people.

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#1692074 19-Dec-2016 10:30

Good Christmas presents that i received as a kid.

Trampoline. My parents to this day say it was the best investment they made.
Bikes, Scooters, skate boards. Skate boards can be a sore in the beginning but can open them up to years of fun with friends.
A book about how things work.
Tablet, ipod or iphone.
Something to go with an existing well used toy or hobby.
Try to get your kids into something like horse riding or gaming where you can easily buy them presents they want and it helps them grow their passion for the hobby or what ever.

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invisibleman18

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#1692104 19-Dec-2016 11:22

kiwifidget:

Secret Santa is your friend. We are only 5 people but we make it work.

We do a similar thing. My partner has 2 sisters, both married and one of them with 2 kids. Obviously everyone buys for the kids, but there's a secret santa type thing for the adults so each couple buys for one couple instead of all 6 adults. Not really "secret" since her Mother organises it and everyone knows who is buying for who but that's the idea.

networkn

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#1692140 19-Dec-2016 11:56

We used to go crazy, now we buy for immediate family and kids under 16. It makes it less expensive. We still spend a lot on food, but I like food :)

dickytim

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#1692147 19-Dec-2016 12:23

TimA:

Try to get your kids into something like horse riding

I am/was a competitive dressage rider and judge, my fiancé has said there is no way the child will be into riding. She is a paramedic...

I agree about getting them into a sport however, and we are hoping for golf.

Geektastic

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#1692153 19-Dec-2016 12:35

I don't really have this problem since my wife is the only family I have in NZ and all our other relations are scattered across the globe.

One thing I learned long ago is that no woman ever means "Let's not bother with presents this year"!! Those might be the words being spoken but they are not the message you are intended to hear.

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