Time for some text jokes people - I need to build up my collection so that people think Im funny and interesting :-)

Rule #1 They must be under 160 characters
Rule #2...

Ill start!
 

Went to kitchen this morning. Wife was face down not breathing. I panicked! Didn't know what 2 do! Then I remembered mcdonalds do brekky till 10.30


I bought the wife a Memory Stick, it's great!She hasn't forgotten my beer, dinner or sex once since the first beating