Talkiet:

 

My own dad simply can't stop himself signing up for BB with whoever turns up at the door and says they have the best deal ever and recently got signed up to Sky... He of course called me to figure out how to setup the Sky router when it turned up and to figure out if he was already being served by Sky I got him to run a speedtest and see what the website reported as his ISP (It was Sky)...

 

Im surprised you have not setup a SBC with a sensor and a catapult to flick them away from his house yet...