Corporatespeke

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stevenz

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#101726 7-May-2012 17:51

Am I the only one who finds corporatespeke largely meaningless?

"Reach out" - Why not say "ask", "contact", "called" as necessary, my arms aren't going anywhere, this phrase seems to have suddenly surfaced early last year and was immediately latched onto by suit-wearers everywhere. It's rare that fewer words and/or syllables won't produce the same meaning. Is it to deliberately obsfucate the method of contact?

"Moving/going forward" - Again, we're staying still, how about "in the future"?

"Touch base" - An oldie but a goodie. I'm not touching anything.

Any other examples?

@KnightNZ

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#621141 7-May-2012 17:57

stevenz: Am I the only one who finds corporatespeke largely meaningless?

No, you're not.

Every time I come in contact with somebody in "Marketing", I feel like I need to drive a stake through my head. Doubly so if they are an American.

Blah blah blah, buzzword, drone drone drone, buzzword, networking networking networking, buzzword.

Obligatory:

Our company is agile and lean with a focus on the long tail. Ok, our company is actually a polecat I found in my backyard.

Our company is agile and lean with a focus on the long tail. Ok, our company is actually a polecat I found in my backyard.

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Behodar

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#621158 7-May-2012 18:25

Raymond Chen from Microsoft often describes examples of "Microspeak".

surfisup1000

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#621177 7-May-2012 18:59

stevenz: Am I the only one who finds corporatespeke largely meaningless?

"Reach out" - Why not say "ask", "contact", "called" as necessary, my arms aren't going anywhere, this phrase seems to have suddenly surfaced early last year and was immediately latched onto by suit-wearers everywhere. It's rare that fewer words and/or syllables won't produce the same meaning. Is it to deliberately obsfucate the method of contact?

"Moving/going forward" - Again, we're staying still, how about "in the future"?

"Touch base" - An oldie but a goodie. I'm not touching anything.

Any other examples?

This is nothing new. It is not just corporate speak either, government speak too -- pavement rehabilitation (roadworks) -- corrections facility (jail), etc.

Also happens in IT, you get buzz words and concepts do the rounds, but largely things are still done in the same old ways.

sleemanj

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#621179 7-May-2012 19:01

surfisup1000:
This is nothing new. It is not just corporate speak either, government speak too -- pavement rehabilitation (roadworks) -- corrections facility (jail), etc.

And here in Christchurch the ubiquitous "deconstruction"

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James Sleeman
I sell lots of stuff for electronic enthusiasts...

jwahau

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#621183 7-May-2012 19:09

In Australia they are called Weasel Words as
http://www.weaselwords.com.au

freitasm

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#621185 7-May-2012 19:14

I think we can assume we're all on the same page now...

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stevenz

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#621466 8-May-2012 10:04

So why do we do this to the language? Is it to make us feel that what we're doing is more important whilst making things more vague and less efficient?

@KnightNZ

scuwp

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#621502 8-May-2012 10:42

In my workplace the latest thing seems to be to identify everything by its "space" and having "conversations".

e.g "...we will have that conversation when we move into the financial space" or "...we are currently in the planning space and future conversations will require a transition..."

I have to laugh in high level meetings with senior management when one of them lays it on heavy with all the corporate speak, all the head nodding and agreeing that goes on, when honestly I don't think anyone actually understands what is being said. Lol

I think it just makes them feel important and clever.

Enough already!

Lazy is such an ugly word, I prefer to call it selective participation

floydbloke

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#621521 8-May-2012 11:06

Time to circle the wagons, we need some cross-flow integration to achieve synergy.

Edit: and to me 'Reach Out" is the worst of the lot, I'm not a bl**dy social worker. (Not that there is anything wrong with them, I'm just not one of them.)

Sometimes I use big words I don't always fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

MikeB4

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#621522 8-May-2012 11:11

floydbloke: Time to circle the wagons, we need some cross-flow integration to achieve synergy.

Edit: and to me 'Reach Out" is the worst of the lot, I'm not a bl**dy social worker. (Not that there is anything wrong with them, I'm just not one of them.)

Corporate speak and Corporate games are interlinked and firm. With out it there would be diversification of thought and dilution of effort.

Here is a crazy notion, lets give peace a chance.

floydbloke

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#621525 8-May-2012 11:12

Anyone for a game of Buzzword Bingo to make time pass a bit faster in those dull meetings.

Sometimes I use big words I don't always fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

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John2010

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#621528 8-May-2012 11:18

+1 scuwp

"Space" always gives me a special giggle.

I think the use of it in the workplace is proof of the multiverse (multiple spaces) as most users of popular terms (and systems) of the moment give me the impression of being in different universes, typically ones not parallel with reality.

Ragnor

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#621639 8-May-2012 13:43

Modulate the flux capacitor?

robertsona

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#621642 8-May-2012 13:47

24/7 gets me. And so does saying (for example) "one April", rather than "April the first"

stevenz

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#621661 8-May-2012 14:25

I don't mind 24/7 so much as it's fairly clear in its meaning (to me at least) and is more efficient than saying "All hours of the week" or "all the time". Sure, it's not proper English but if you're going to use new terms then at least make them an improvement. if they're not just doing to be used in a colloquial sense (e.g. "chur").

"Zero dollars" is one the telco's seem to like.

@KnightNZ

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