Dear Vodafone geeks,

I've been trying to get a PTR record on my static IP address but nobody I spoke to at Vodafone seems to know what they are anymore.

My first attempt was a couple of months ago. After explaining PTR records to several people, I was told that a ticket needs to be submitted for a mistery 'technical team' to get it done for me. I never heard anything back and couldn't bring myself to call again so I dropped it for a while.

Last week I armed myself with patience and decided to try again. This is how it went:

I first tried the chat function but was told that the 'business team' sets up PTR records and I need to call 0800 438 448 to speak to them.

I called the 0800 number and spoke to a Christine, she was confused but I patiently explained what I was after. She seemed willing to help, found some intranet articles, put me on hold for a while, spoke to people, then told me she will have to submit a ticket for a mistery 'technical team' to get this done for me - a familiar ruse. She did promise to call me with an update, which was encouraging. Nothing happened.

Today (Thursday, a week later) I decided to call again. The IVR bot considered that "I want an update on my ticket" means that I want to speak to the billing team, apparently. There are no options to choose from anymore, so you're at the mercy of this thing's judgement.

The billing team guy I spoke to predictably had no clue what I was talking about, but he did put me on hold to check notes and speak to people. He then transferred me to the sales team because he figured that what I must mean is that I want to buy a static IP address (a second one I guess?)

The sales guy (I think his name was Rohit) was predictably even more confused, but I made an attempt to explain things to him so that at least he can put me through to the right people. I went on hold for a while, until he came back to explain that he's going to transfer me to a girl from the technical team.

The hold music stopped and the girl from the technical team started talking to me thinking she was still talking to Rohit. I informed her that I am the customer. I explained PTR records to her too and suggested there may be a ticket to check, previous notes to draw on perhaps, etc. I went on hold again.

She eventually came back and told to me that she checked with several senior technical experts and they said I should seek the help of a local IT tech. I politely informed her that the technical experts don't know what the hell they're talking about. I don't believe in taking my frustration out on the messenger, so I told her I'll get off the phone now, which made her very happy.

I am aware that this isn't a common query and I'm honestly not trying to bag on you, Vodafone. In fact, I am trying very hard to remain your customer, but it's proving difficult! Is there anyone here that can please help? 😄