Silly joke thread

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Networkn
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#3128363 15-Sep-2023 22:12

A brunette is skipping down the rail tracks singing "twenty-seven, twenty-seven, twenty-seven'.

A blonde sees her and joins her skipping down the tracks singing "twenty-seven, twenty-seven, twenty-seven'.

The brunette jumps off the tracks right as a train mows down the blonde, killing her instantly.

The brunette gets back on the tracks skipping and singing 'twenty-eight, twenty-eight, twenty-eight'.

networkn

Networkn
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#3128365 15-Sep-2023 22:30

Where did George Washington keep his Armies?
Same as everyone else, up his sleevies.

It's really starting to smell like updog in here.

eracode

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#3130334 22-Sep-2023 08:17

The late Roger Whittaker and a friend were on holiday in Eastern Europe during the Cold War. A Russian military aircraft flew over.

Friend: Wow look at that - Russian IF.

RW: IF - what’s that?

Friend: Interceptor Fighter - it’s a great concept.

RW: I don’t believe in IF any more - it’s an Ilyushin.

Sometimes I just sit and think. Other times I just sit.

Bananabob

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#3130419 22-Sep-2023 11:03

eracode:

The late Roger Whittaker and a friend were on holiday in Eastern Europe during the Cold War. A Russian military aircraft flew over.

Friend: Wow look at that - Russian IF.

RW: IF - what’s that?

Friend: Intercepter Fighter - it’s a great concept.

RW: I don’t believe in IF any more - it’s an Ilyushin.

<loudgroan>arrrrh</loudgroan>

Geektastic

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#3130448 22-Sep-2023 12:43

What did Californians use to light their homes before candles?

Electricity!

(My brother in California sent that to me)

sir1963

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#3130468 22-Sep-2023 13:39

Geektastic: What did Californians use to light their homes before candles?

Electricity!

(My brother in California sent that to me)

Ahh that reminds me of the:

What does Auckland stand for

All Underground Cables Knackered, Lights Are Now Dark.

networkn

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#3130524 22-Sep-2023 15:09

A gingerbread man goes his doctor, and says... Doctor, Doctor! I have sore knees.

The Doctor looks concerned and asks him 'have you tried icing them?'

networkn

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#3130525 22-Sep-2023 15:09

I know an Australian guy who works in I.T.

He says he is from a LAN downunder.

Tinkerisk

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#3138180 3-Oct-2023 10:56

Radio spot:

"And here's a message to the driver of the red sports car in front of us with the rear sticker: "Whoever brakes loses", who is currently speeding along the Autobahn A1 towards Bremen at... hooiii! 220 km/h (there is a speed limit of 120km/h).

Congratulations! Your driving licence has won 6 months' holiday in Flensburg (Federal Motor Transport Authority). We would have liked to congratulate you personally, but you don't react neither to our flashing lights nor our siren.

Therefore, our reception committee is waiting for you in 3 kilometres and will take over the award ceremony. By the way, you will recognise our colleagues by their ceremonial uniforms and blue festive lights. Oh, uh... And the nail board, right?"

Qui nihil scit, omnia credere debet. - He who knows nothing must believe everything.
Firewalls do NOT stop dragons!
I avoid Big Tech, they try hard to dictate technology and culture across borders.
In effect we have everything to hide from someone, and no idea who someone is.

Tinkerisk

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#3138193 3-Oct-2023 11:28

Radio spot parcel service:

"Dear parcel carrier, this is Emma-Maria Keil from Witteringstr. 12, fifth floor on the right.

I. AM. TODAY. AT. HOME! Just like last week and the week before.

So I’m READY TO RECEIVE THE SHIPMENT! Guaranteed! I have enough water, candles, batteries and food to not have to leave the house all day and the doorbell isn't broken either.

(Now gloating a bit:) Just the lift."

Qui nihil scit, omnia credere debet. - He who knows nothing must believe everything.
Firewalls do NOT stop dragons!
I avoid Big Tech, they try hard to dictate technology and culture across borders.
In effect we have everything to hide from someone, and no idea who someone is.

Tinkerisk

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#3138195 3-Oct-2023 11:32

Radio spot "6 reasons"

"Hi, this radio spot is for all the maths teachers who tried to tell me in the 13 years from '90 to '99 that I can't count to three and don't know anything about numbers anyway. I'm going to tell all these maths teachers 6 reasons that prove the opposite: 4, 12, 18, 20, 35, 41 and 7.

And what does that add up to? Correct: 33 million Euro. Hehe."

Qui nihil scit, omnia credere debet. - He who knows nothing must believe everything.
Firewalls do NOT stop dragons!
I avoid Big Tech, they try hard to dictate technology and culture across borders.
In effect we have everything to hide from someone, and no idea who someone is.

Tinkerisk

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#3138196 3-Oct-2023 11:36

Radio spot "Twitter (or X)“

"Hello Suni, this is Mum. Since you only communicate via the internet, this is the way to go:

@Super_Suni96, clean up your room at last!
No virus scanner can help with this mess. I almost crashed when I saw that. The space in the recycle bin is full, your bed needs an upgrade, all windows are open and the backend looks first. All I can say is: DISLIKE! Dad can't "ROFL" about it anymore either. He's about to log off! So, if you don't log on with high speed at home now, then your mother will "follow" you and then you'll really tweet in the box!

Qui nihil scit, omnia credere debet. - He who knows nothing must believe everything.
Firewalls do NOT stop dragons!
I avoid Big Tech, they try hard to dictate technology and culture across borders.
In effect we have everything to hide from someone, and no idea who someone is.

Tinkerisk

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#3143840 7-Oct-2023 02:24

Some posts on facebook make me realise why NASA is looking for intelligent life in space.

Qui nihil scit, omnia credere debet. - He who knows nothing must believe everything.
Firewalls do NOT stop dragons!
I avoid Big Tech, they try hard to dictate technology and culture across borders.
In effect we have everything to hide from someone, and no idea who someone is.