Silly joke thread

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Networkn
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#3194238 12-Feb-2024 11:08

An elderly, but hardy cattleman from Texas once gave his granddauighter the following advice. "If you want to live a long life, the secret is to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on your oatmeal each morning."

She did this religiously and lived to the age of 103. She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 21 great-grandchildren, five great-great-grandchildren and a 40 foot hole where the crematorium used to be.

MadEngineer

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#3194278 12-Feb-2024 11:57

elpenguino: Woman laced colleagues’ coffee with Viagra.
You'll have to think up your own punchlines.

Reminds me of what happened when they tried adding iron supplements to Viagra.

Poor fellas kept pointing north.

You're not on Atlantis anymore, Duncan Idaho.

sir1963

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#3194311 12-Feb-2024 13:11

NEVER use hair restorer when you are taking Viagra unless you want it to grow back short and curly.

Gurezaemon

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#3197251 18-Feb-2024 21:05

From Milton Jones:
If you Google 'lost medieval servant boy', it comes up with 'this page cannot be found'.

Get your business seen overseas - Nexus Translations

networkn

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#3198156 21-Feb-2024 10:09

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Dishes.

Dishes who?

Dishes Sean Connery.

networkn

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#3198157 21-Feb-2024 10:09

A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on. One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady.

He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her “my darling.” But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years. At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years.

Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, “My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?”

And the lady said, “Pardon?”

ezbee

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#3198234 21-Feb-2024 11:50

'An absolute joke': The Auckland Sotp sign
https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/national/509727/an-absolute-joke-the-auckland-sotp-sign

xpd

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#3198239 21-Feb-2024 12:00

Can imagine it now says "USB Stop"

Gavin / xpd / FastRaccoon / Geek of Coastguard New Zealand

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#3198240 21-Feb-2024 12:03

xpd:

Can imagine it now says "USB Stop"

A USB Stop is like a BUS Stop, but you have to do three loops around the entire route before you can get off because the doors don't open the first two times.

iPad Pro 11" + iPhone 15 Pro Max + 2degrees 4tw!

These comments are my own and do not represent the opinions of 2degrees.

elpenguino

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#3198617 22-Feb-2024 10:04

Do not believe all that evolution nonsense about horses being descended from wildebeest.

#FakeGnus.

Most of the posters in this thread are just like chimpanzees on MDMA, full of feelings of bonhomie, joy, and optimism. Fred99 8/4/21

Behodar

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#3198618 22-Feb-2024 10:07

SaltyNZ:

A USB Stop is like a BUS Stop, but you have to do three loops around the entire route before you can get off because the doors don't open the first two times.

sir1963

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#3199602 24-Feb-2024 22:29

There was a bit of concern that things at a soft drink convention could have become heated...but they were all cordial to each other.

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#3203042 4-Mar-2024 11:35

5 Facts About Koi Fish | PetMD

Koi fish always travel in groups of four. If attacked Koi A, B and C will scatter, Leaving behind the D Koi.

Did Eric Clapton really think she looked wonderful...or was it after the 15th outfit she tried on and he just wanted to get to the party and get a drink?

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#3203057 4-Mar-2024 12:50

floydbloke:

Koi fish always travel in groups of four. If attacked Koi A, B and C will scatter, Leaving behind the D Koi.

Basic training they all go through in the School of Fish.

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These comments are my own and do not represent the opinions of 2degrees.

elpenguino

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#3203067 4-Mar-2024 13:12

SaltyNZ:

floydbloke:

Koi fish always travel in groups of four. If attacked Koi A, B and C will scatter, Leaving behind the D Koi.

Basic training they all go through in the School of Fish.

ohhhhh, I've haddock with this thread.

Most of the posters in this thread are just like chimpanzees on MDMA, full of feelings of bonhomie, joy, and optimism. Fred99 8/4/21

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